Day 19: Memories and Sickness

Today marks the one ¬†year anniversary of when Kim’s grandmother passed away. I love that woman and I still miss her a great deal. I’m also sad that she won’t be able to see Punky grow up. A year ago, we were in the hospice entertaining small babies, this year we are remembering our family matriarch with love and growing toddlers.

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She would have had such joy watching them grow and learn and play. Some people believe she’s out there watching us and while I believe her good energy surrounding us and keeps her family’s spirits up, it’s a sad time of year to have a loved one leave a very large hole in your heart and in your life.

I had to come home early from work, because Kim has been puny and last night, we were both up with Punky coughing and puking. She’s been pretty ill since yesterday afternoon. I feel like her cough has escalated – so we have been having a pretty low-key night as far as our Christmas countdown goes.

Punky and I spent the late evening in the Urgent Care of our pediatrician’s office. If I haven’t mentioned this before, I absolutely love our pediatrician’s office. Not only are the doctors and nurses awesome, the rooms are decorated for children in mind and they have an after hours and weekend urgent care.

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When we laid her down for a nap, I could hear her in her room coughing and I was going to let the Benadryl kick in to help her sleep, but then she started gagging and sounding like she was about to vomit. I went in there to check on her and her pillow was soaked in sweat and she just couldn’t stop coughing. It was making this Mommy with an anxiety problem really nervous. I picked her up and got her in the car without much thought.

She stood on the scale like a big girl this time and let them get her vitals and stuff without much fuss. When the doctor listened her her lungs, she was wheezing. They recommended a breathing treatment for her in the office. I knew that wasn’t going to go very well and I was right.

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She wrestled me for most of it and it broke my heart! We got through the bucking and the screaming 10 minutes with very little medicine getting in her, but the doctor said afterwards that her lungs sounded 100% better. They sent us home with a seal shaped nebulizer to take home. She won’t be thrilled when we have to do this at home, every four hours. I’m not looking forward to it.

**

Hey guys, guess what.

That breathing treatment was as traumatizing for everyone involved as I was afraid it would be. But, especially me. I think my number one and main fear is suffocating. Literally, I am terrified that I will suffocate and I make a point not to cover my nose and mouth for any reason.

So to see my little girl struggling and screaming with that mask on her face. She was bucking like a bull and it was just SO hard. I actually freaked out for a minute. We had to stop for a second, because I was afraid we were suffocating her.

I did what all moms do, I called my mama. My sister has been through the breathing treatments with her boys for years now. She got a hold of my sister and they reassured me we were doing it right and it was ok.

It wasn’t any better for my the second time around, but hopefully, this gets better, because it’s to make her feel better and I will do what needs to be done to make her feel better. Sometimes, I feel like things like this make me play tug of war with myself.

On the one hand, I absolutely know it’s good for her and yet all I could think about was how much we were ‘hurting’ her. So if I can’t get a hold of my fears, like Kim says, it’s projected on Punky and it makes things worse.

Send me calming vibes people, this is going to be a stressful few weeks with the little one.

Day 5: Jingle Bells Bracelet Making With Mommy

Day five was another day of M&Ms, which is becoming a very special snack for Punky. She loves those. She opened up her next envelope and immediately popped the little candy coated chocolate in her mouth.

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Notice the horse tattoo that is on her hand that is quickly disintegrating!

She helped me string the bells on an invisible jewelry line. Really she just helped me pick out the order of the bells. She just gave them to me – and I put them on the string for her.

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The more bells she gave me the bigger the bracelet got. She was really loving the jingle bell song. So I sang jingle bell Christmas carol and she started to mimic me. So every time I sang she would holler “HEY!” She let me put the bracelet on her wrist and we jingled and shook it around the living room.

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She wore the bracelet, prancing around the house with it for a good 10 minutes, I am beginning to see a pattern with my toddler’s attention span. Anyway, she took it off and Mama put it on the monster. Her favorite baby right now.

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She would shake it around and gave it to me several times, before I threw it in her room. She tore it off the monster’s neck and by the end of the night the bells were no longer strung on the bracelet and are now laying on my living room floor.

She does come by periodically and pick one up and shake it at me. Day five was pretty darn successful, she just kept in true tradition for our toddler and enjoyed it for a short period of time!

Day Two: Christmas Movie with Moms

Day two of our Christmas Countdown was pretty uneventful. I got home from work around 6 after going shopping for during movie snacks like popcorn. We had a little dinner and then initiated the envelope fun.

Punky stood patiently waiting for the envelope and when I asked her to pull it off the ribbons, this time she didn’t have the patience for it. Likely for the best really, yesterday she spilled M&Ms on the floor.

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She immediately opened the envelope and dug out the candy. Tonight there were jelly beans in there. She was happy as a clam, she shoved them in her mouth, thus the face she is currently making.

IMG_2842I know she’s not yet two yet, so she doesn’t care about the cards, but I’m damn proud of them, so I am taking a picture with her holding each one this year! This one says “Watch a Christmas Movie”.

Now, I should preface this with the fact that we have never really sat down and had a family movie night with Punky. I never felt like she had the attention span for it. However, Kim had recorded the Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer movie, the clay version and since it was something she always did as a kid, I wanted to make sure we incorporated it into Punky’s traditions.

So, we set up a bowl of cheese puffs, her sippy of milk and curled up on the bed with Mama.

The movie was about an hour, with the addition of commercials, so after fast forwarding, I’d say it’s 40 minutes or so. We got her to keep her attention through most of it. She sat very nicely through the first 15 minutes or so, she jumped on the bed through the next 15-20 minutes and then sat quietly for the last 10 minutes or so. I would say the night was a success!

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Day two was a hit, I think, we had a chance to snuggle up on the bed together, the three of us and hang out. It was a nice de-stressing moment after a very long, exhausting day for me at work.

OH! And we finally got our stolen money back from the bank. It took nearly two and a half weeks and we were penny pinching like mad, but we made it. It was stressful, but Day 2 of our Christmas Countdown ended on a high.