Letter to Christian Working Mothers

Yet, another article that is beautifully written has been marred by comments by the followers of God. The beginning of this article really spoke to me as a working mom and if you are one, you should read it. Here’s the perfect example of having agreements with those who are in the church about other things besides religion. 

However, there comes a side effect of the religious undertones of articles written like this. Marred in the comments are ‘well meaning’ Christian women who think they know what it’s like to be inside someone’s life. They use “God’s words” to make their veiled guilt-ridden comments and they use “God’s words” to throw a little judgement and a pinch of righteousness into an already guilt-ridden and emotional mother’s mind.

My heart goes out to those women who are shackled to the fear that their decision for their family is somehow inferior to those around them. This post is for you.

Dear Christian Working Mother,

I have known that guilt you feel. People tell you the guilt you feel is God’s way of telling you that you may be doing something wrong. Other Christian women are coming forward to tell you how your decision to work outside the home, may not be a good fit – and you shouldn’t ignore that guilty feeling in your gut.

Let me tell you something, ladies, working mothers feel guilt. It doesn’t matter if you are Christian or Atheist. It doesn’t matter if your child is newborn or young adult. A mother’s instinct is to care and nurture her child with her own two hands. To foster and delight in your child’s learning and teach your child the ways of your beliefs or non-beliefs.

We aren’t that different, you and I. The guilt a working mother feels, has nothing to do with religion. At the end of the day, the guilt you feel in your heart, those achy pangs of sadness come Monday morning has to do with being a mother. Carrying a child for 9 months gives you a special bond with that child – it’s a natural psychological response to want to be close to that child and have a hand in their daily lives.

Don’t let people use God to guilt you into doubting your decision to work outside the home. There are some, most likely just like you, who have no other choice.

Think for a moment, what happens if you give in to your guilt and you quit your job.

Will God put food in your child’s belly? Will He clothe your child and keep her warm from the coming winter fast approaching? Now you can hold your child in your arms all day long, but at what expense? Will you have a roof over your head? Will you have a car to drive him to all the playdates you so desperately want to attend?

I’m calling all Christian Mamas out there who work outside the home. I’m telling you that  you don’t have to feel guilty. This world is based in money. That’s an unfortunate fact and no matter how much you try, at the end of the day, your working puts food on the table and a roof over your child’s head.

It doesn’t mean you love your child any less. It doesn’t mean you are doing something wrong. It doesn’t speak to your greed or your priorities as a mother or a woman, it simply speaks to the necessity to do what is right for your family.

The harsh reality of this world is that it doesn’t matter if you believe in God or not. The bill collectors are still calling. The house payment is still due. The medical bills are still calling out to you from when little Johnny broke his arm last year. Those things are going away, it’s not by some miracle of God going to disappear.

I commend the writer of the original article. She has beautiful words for the working mother. All working mothers can relate to the feelings she describes. Her words are written more eloquently than mine are, because now, I’m more interested in giving you a real good shake.

Don’t let people guilt you. Don’t let people doubt you. Don’t let people tear you down.

And to those women who think they are helping by adding more stress and worry onto women who are only doing what’s necessary for their children and their family. Shame on you. You don’t walk in their shoes, don’t presume to know who they are. Just because you have been stirred with what you call the duty to spread God’s message, doesn’t mean you have to put it on the heart of a fellow woman already struggling.

At the end of the day, what does the Bible say Jesus preached? Love and compassion. Not guilt and judgement. Seek to find the same level of belief and standards you hold these women to. Seek to walk in the way that Jesus walked, or don’t say anything at all.

Working moms, of all beliefs and family dynamics. You are struggling. You are doubting. You are heartbroken. But remember this above all. You are important. You are loved. You are appreciated. Your struggles don’t go unnoticed. Your doubting has no foundation. Your heart will mend each time with the happy smile of your child when you walk through the door. Your heart can withstand, your child is learning valuable lessons from you. Teach your child the idea of standing on your own two feet, doing what is necessary, and caring for the lives you have brought into this world and keeping them safe, warm, and happy!

Let’s all give a little more compassion to our fellow mothers. Regardless of our beliefs. Regardless of our decisions. Regardless of how we raise our families. Regardless of how we got here, we are all mothers. Let’s stop this war against each other. Let’s stop the judgement and start appreciating one another. Let’s stop the guilt and start learning from one another. Let’s stop the advice and start listening to one another.

Let’s just be women. Caring for our children. Doing what is in our heart and our soul to do on pure instinct.

Love one another.

A New Chapter Has Started For Us

Hi all,

So, it’s been a while since I have posted something substantial because I have been so busy at work. We have been having system issues and other things. We deal with people’s medication, so I have been staying late a few nights a week to make sure we get these people their medication. That’s the great thing about this job. I don’t really care for being on the phones, and I’m not as much as I used to be. I’m a senior now, so I talk to the grumpy, the sick, the frustrated elderly. I answer questions from our representatives and coach when necessary.

Well, dear readers, I am here to announce that I have been given the opportunity to go a step higher. I am going to be interim supervisor starting today. This is pretty big news for me! I applied for a supervisor position about a month ago and I nailed the interview, I just didn’t have the ‘experience’ they were looking for. This interim position will give me the experience I want and need for the next step in this path.

I’m kind of the glue that holds my current team together in a lot of ways, so I am concerned that I am leaving them hanging, so on the work front, I’m feeling a tiny bit guilty just ‘abandoning’ them. However, they have an excellent supervisor and my backup senior is pretty sharp and knowledgable, he just has to have the confidence to do the job!

On the home front, I’m even more guilty. My shift will change now from 8-5PM to 3-Midnight. Which really means that I will be missing the bedtime routine. I do so love putting Punky to bed. So, I’m sure not only do I need to get my own bedtime routine and sleep schedule changed, but I will be wondering what she’s doing around 8PM every night when she usually goes to bed.

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We spent last night watching the Giggle Bellies before bed. Just laying in mommies’ bed and cuddling!

The upside to this is that I get to spend time with her in the day time. I get to take her out and do things with her. The mommy group that I am a member of usually does playdates during the day and I was always bummed that I couldn’t take her to those things. We only had time to do things at night (when I was usually too darn tired) or on the weekends (when I really didn’t want to get out of the house).

Now, we can do all sorts of things. In fact, we have been booked for three playdates this week.

On Thursday, Punky and I are going to a free FitMom class in the morning. I hear it’s a great workout for moms who don’t have time or daycare to get to the gym. I’m looking forward to that. I have been counting calories for about a month now and started doing Jillian Michael’s 30 day shred level 1 workout consistently for the last week. I’ve lost about 8.5 pounds in the last month. It’s pretty exciting and I’m pretty happy with this new chapter in my life too!

On Friday, we are going to Xtreme Fitness to play at the Toddler Time. I’ve been told that this place has all sorts of fun things for kids to play with. Trampolines and foam pits and just a nice place to run off the energy of a toddler.

Yesterday we visited the open house at Gymboree for a couple hours. I really miss taking her to Gymboree. I sure wish she liked participating in the classes more!

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It’s so important to me to spend time with Punky while I am still working. I am a working mom. I am a working mom for a reason. I can’t possibly stay at home with her 24/7 and keep my sanity. But, I want that bond with her. I want to be close with her and I am hoping being able to have that bond with her and be a mom she can come to when she needs something.

So, with a new job and a new schedule and a new weight loss plan, things are looking new and different, but hopefully a great new life is starting!

Take care.