Our little Punky is going to be 2 in four and a half months. When the hell did that happen?! I’m STILL astonished we even have a child. I’m STILL astonished when I look at her and feel like I’m in a dream. Like is this really my life?
I know that work has been a little stressful for me and frankly, I’m pretty sure I had a mild nervous breakdown a couple weeks ago when the supervisor position went haywire. But, I saw a side of me that I haven’t seen in years. I don’t want to see that side of me. I’ve worked very very hard to leave her behind, the bitter, angry, selfish, bitch me has no place in this new life we are building with our most precious baby girl turned toddler.
I’m not ashamed to say that I am going to be getting my medication readjusted and I’m relieved about it. I’m not a nutjob, seriously, but I have a lot of mood problems and my hormones are still out of whack from having Punky, and my anxiety is “through the roof” if you hear K tell it. So, I’m getting it fixed.
I also learned, while I have always known this, that my childhood was lacking in places I didn’t really notice until I had a kid. I know my parents did the best they could, I didn’t really lack for much, but my noticing it now, makes me even more determined to make sure that Punky has the childhood I didn’t have.
With that said, we do so much with her that I never got to do. Tuesday, we went to the pumpkin patch and she had fun, even though she didn’t have a nap and kind of started to melt down. In the end, I think it was a success.
This last week or so we have been putting together Punky’s big girl room. We finally got the non-essential furniture out of there and now, I’m totally going nuts! We have picked the universe theme. I like the sciencey bit of it and she really enjoys the stars and the lights that go with it.
We live in an apartment, so we aren’t supposed to paint the walls, so I did have to improvise some of the wall decor!
So, while Punky heads into being 2 years old, we are getting ready to put together her toddler bed, finish up her room and continue to make me thrilled to have the child we have, tantrums and all!!
My next post will likely not be until after Halloween or the Halloween party we are going to this weekend. More pictures of that to come, for sure!