The Ultimate 30th Birthday Wish List

It’s my birthday week.

Yes, that’s right. Its my birthday WEEK. The week in which we celebrate the awesomeness that is me.

Usually, I’m really bad at the “What do you want for your birthday?” question. Because I think about it all year, but never write it down. And when it comes time to actually cough up the list, I get all shy about it.

I mean, really. My birthday is just another day.

Not according to some people. And my being 30 is apparently an even bigger deal than I ever knew.

Cue three very awesome friends who will be taking me – just me – to a cabin somewhere on a lake or something. For a girls’ weekend.

Of course, as a kid, I would have thought of that as a ‘sleepover’, as an adult, I’m not really sure what that means. I mean, what do four adult women do in a cabin on a lake for an entire weekend.

No kids, no significant others, and no real responsibility?

I have no idea. But boy am I looking forward to it!

What else would make my birthday week awesome?

A Fully Potty Trained Toddler

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No, we haven’t actually started potty training, but is it too much to ask that she magically just start using the toilet? I don’t think this is an unreasonable request. The Birthday Fairy can wave a wand, make the Pull-Ups disappear and the wipes no longer needed for dirty butts and only dirty hands and faces!

Take A Bath Without My Own Personal Cheering Section Outside the Closed Door

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I swear, the minute I start to strip my clothes off for a ‘quick shower’, I am immediately assaulted by the banging of the door. “MOMMY, mommy, mom, mom, mom, Mommy? Mommy. Mom. Hi Mom! Mommy! Mommy I come In? Mommy!!”

One time, I made the mistake of leaving the door slightly cracked, so she could still hear me from behind the shower curtain. What actually happened? She tried to climb into the shower with her clothes on.

So, my request is this: A well made, very sturdy bathtub reading device in which I can place my Nook. I probably won’t be reading. I will probably be watching an episode of House M.D. or Mortified Nation, but I will be relaxing in a bubbly bath of quiet solitude that doesn’t involve a fully clothed toddler trying to crawl back inside of me, just to be THAT. CLOSE.

A Training Manual For Toddler Terrorists

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Who doesn’t want a toddler handbook? Jeebs. I didn’t get a newborn manual when I gave birth and believe me, when your hoo-ha gets that big … a manual should come out too.

I just came across this fantastic blog, Honest Toddler. Now, I must have the book. Because who better to help me be the best mommy ever than a toddler who has all the secrets and is skillfully sharing them with me. I want inside my toddler’s brain. This is the next best thing.

I will be appeased with the Nook Book version. A B&N Gift Card is acceptable.

A Free Pass From Escalations At Work. All Week.

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Look, I will take stupid over irate any day. Why? Because stupid doesn’t understand logic, so you can convince them … 9 times out of 10 that you are correct. Irate customers don’t have a way to process logic. Because they are irrational.

The whole purpose of my job is the help the front line customer service representatives with their questions and hard to find answers. The other very large part of my day is taking over escalated callers and doing my best to either, make them understand the reason for the NO or come to a solution that is acceptable for the caller.

This is generally how it goes. 

I requesting no calls like this … All Week. I am requesting that we get me a direct line to transfer these people to, OR I will settle for them bypassing me altogether.

K? Thanks!

A Cuddle on the Couch With My Boo

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We have three seasons of Game of Thrones collecting dust that we could totally be catching up on. Or perhaps that Catching Fire DVD that we got, but never actually put in.

You see, Kim and I are pretty much keep to yourself kind of people. When Punky goes to bed, we are off doing our own things. The invention of Netflix Lists has literally saved our relationship. Now, we can watch our shows, even the same shows, at our own pace.

However, it does make quality time a little hard to come by. I’d love to just sit on the couch with my boo and cuddle in front of the TV. Just watch a little Netflix or a DVD or seven.  I would settle for one WHOLE season or three of a series we both have been waiting to watch on Netflix too. Hint. Hint.

Cool Gadgets For My Fast Fleeing Memory

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All joking aside … this shit is important!

The two things I am constantly losing. My keys and my phone. And to top it all off, because I can’t be on my phone at work, my phone is generally on silent or vibrate ALL. THE. TIME. Which makes finding it very difficult. Luckily it lights up when it rings.

I don’t have any tricks for my keys though. I just throw them in random places, it drives Kim crazy. Sometimes they are in my pockets, some times in my purse, and sometimes on a bookshelf or a kitchen table and one time … I think this was Punky’s fault, but I found them in my shoe. *She’s obsessed with my shoes*

So, cool gadgets. You can never go wrong with cool gadgets.

Speaking of Gadgets….

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With all the clipart I hoard for my Etsy Shop – I really should be in a support group. Some sort of “Clip Art Anonymous”. If they don’t have something like that set up, I would really suggest they making one.

In the meantime, it would be really sad if my laptop died and all my templates and clipart was lost. Thus, this is necessary!  1 TB (that’s Terabyte) Portable External Hard Drive. Fits in my hand and portable. What more could a geeky electronics clipart hoarder ask for?

Not much, I tell you!

The Best Present Is For My Tummy

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My most favorite dessert is peach cobbler and it’s been ages since I have eaten it. I love the edges the best, so that’s why a small pan will do. Oh, and the size would be perfect for a one person serving so I don’t have to share.

Oh, I have a toddler, so she will probably get a bite, but after that, I want my dessert to myself. Peach cobbler.

My Grandma Dorothy used to make the best peach cobbler in the whole universe. It was so good, I could literally eat the whole thing myself if my mom didn’t step in and stop that tummy ache from happening. Of all the sweets in the world – more than cake, more than pies, more than cupcakes, a Peach Cobbler will delight.

A Pocket of Personal Space. Just For Me. 

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Oh man. This one…. Its a must. Can someone please advise my dear sweet toddler in the concept of personal space? I think that same Birthday Fairy needs to give me a magnetic field that repels the little fingers and appendages that much be touching me. AT. ALL. TIMES.

Look, I’m all for cuddling. I love a good hug and smooch with the kiddo. But, sometimes, when she sits directly, not not exactly right on top of me, it really does make me a little claustrophobic!

Can we please – even just for the week – if I put her on the opposite side of the couch, she can’t sneakily find a way to put a toe on my knee. Just a toe. Nothing else. Or her nose touching my arm. Or something. Her breath breathing the same air is mine. Straight from my mouth.

In an effort to get back inside, this kid is literally ON. TOP. OF. ME. When I pushed her out, I lost all personal space. I’d like to have it back – even just temporarily!

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There you have it.

The Ultimate 30th Birthday List.

11 Possibly Interesting Things About Me

I got the idea from Lindsay over at Solo Mama. I love the idea of getting outside the blogging box and just learn a little something about the people are reading about. Get inside the lives; past and present; of the people we are following.

So without further ado – here’s the not so interesting, least known facts about me.

1. I was a smart, quiet kid. It’s been said that I would be content with a coloring book and crayons for hours. I am told that I didn’t really cry much and I wasn’t really very social – able to play by myself and take joy in solitude. I was able to write my name by the time I was two and a half and I said when I grew up I wanted to be a teacher. Don’t we all!?

2. I grew up five brothers and two sisters. I am the second oldest, but I have only met my older brother a handful of times and corresponded with him mostly through letters to him in his many stints in jail. Most are half-siblings, I have a brother and a sister who have the same mother and father as myself, the rest are all half and step siblings whom I treat as full blood.

3. When I was 12, I was placed into the care of a adolescent psychiatric ward for a few days and then a group home shortly after for the rest of the summer. I was an angry kid who wanted to get what she wanted. A compulsive liar and a need for instant gratification. They put some pills in my mouth, tried to subdue the violence in my heart, and sent me home.

4. When I was 15, I participated in modeling school. At the time, my aspirations moved from teacher to model/actress. I attended Barbizon modeling school, which my mother; I’m told; is still paying for. I didn’t get a chance to finish, due to so changes in my home life and thus, the tuition went to waste and I’m pretty sure it may be a scam.  Sorry Mom!!!

5. I used to be a bully. That statement is likely the hardest thing for me to ever say about myself. I did some pretty terrible things in high school. From the time I started high school at age 15 through my junior year of high school, was a pretty much not a nice person. I would make fun of people, threaten people, spread rumors and break up relationships. For fun and amusement. Nothing more.  I still have people who may hate me, people who still blame me for their poor experience in high school. I don’t blame them for it. And I can’t make my apologies more clear, though I doubt the words “I’m Sorry” will ever be enough. I hope that I can use these experiences to help my daughter be a better person than I was growing up.

6. I almost dropped out of high school in my senior year. Fortunately for me, someone very dear to me, took me in and helped me transfer to a new school in the area that I now live in. She helped give me stability in my life – something I hadn’t really grown up with before. She gave me peace of mind. She gave me responsibility. She gave me structure. In the end, I have her to thank for turning my life around and calming the beast inside of me down. I owe my graduation of high school, my attendance to college (however brief) and my decision to choose a different path to her. She is my savior and she knows who she is.

7. I met Kim on an internet dating site. We have been together since the beginning. We met and had our first date on April 21, 2003 and we made it official on May 1, 2003. She’s my first and only girlfriend. I dated and had sex with many boys and men before her. I was drunk the night I came on the phone and asked her to be my ‘girlfriend’. The rest – is really history!

8. Kim and I have a habit of taking in ‘strays’. Or rather, taking in my sisters. Both of whom I love dearly. The reason I bring it up, is because the first time we brought in first sister, we also took in her daughter. Who had just turned two at the time. Having this little ball of toddler fun in our home, helping care for her and keeping her close to our hearts is likely the reason we decided to start thinking long and hard about having a kid of our own. We got a trial run at the job as mothers and when my sister moved out and left to be on her own again, taking my niece with me, it really did a number on us. We also took in my teenage sister and got a nice trial run at that life too. I learned how to enroll a kid, the paper work, the teachers, the meetings. I got to be involved with the homework, the advice, the drama and the triumphs. In the end, she also went off to be on her own, now over 18, but I thank both my sisters for helping shape our parenting skills. They will be forever a part of how we raise our daughter.

9. I’m addicted to Netflix. Seriously. So, most of my interesting tidbits so far has been serious and a bit hard to swallow for me. However, this little tidbit is fun and light-hearted. I am utterly addicted to Netflix. All shows on Netflix – everything I watch is generally found on Netflix and/or branched out from Netflix. I found such gems as Ghost Whisperer, Supernatural, and Doctor Who! I quite enjoy binge watching all these shows to catch up and then move to DVR options if they are still on air.

10. I have an undiagnosed version of anxiety disorder, stemming from PTSD. No I’m not a soldier.  I’m a woman who grew up with some pretty hardcore shit in her past. In the end, I’m currently going through a form of intense anxiety – spiraling into a sense of destructive behavior. I’m working on it weekly with a therapist, mostly because I don’t want the after effects of my own life to spill over into my daughter’s childhood and upbringing. At present, my days are full of anxiety, panic attacks, and lots of avoidance of certain situations.

11. My daughter looks just like me, but I hope she doesn’t become me. I say this because the paths; choices and decisions; I had to make in order to become the me I am today, has been a hard road, a tough road of tears and mistakes. I would prefer that my daughter not have to learn the lessons I learned in my 30 years of life. However, the path and choices I have experienced have made me who I am. In the end, I am pretty proud of who I am and who Punky has as a mother, but I would really be more proud if she can become a good and nice person without the extra baggage!

So that’s me. Here’s me in a nutshell. I will be 30 in May and I have a rich past, a beautiful present and an uncertain future. All I care about, in the end, is how my Punky monster turns out.

What about you? Tell me great tidbits about you? I love reading about other people’s lives!