I got the idea from Lindsay over at Solo Mama. I love the idea of getting outside the blogging box and just learn a little something about the people are reading about. Get inside the lives; past and present; of the people we are following.
So without further ado – here’s the not so interesting, least known facts about me.
1. I was a smart, quiet kid. It’s been said that I would be content with a coloring book and crayons for hours. I am told that I didn’t really cry much and I wasn’t really very social – able to play by myself and take joy in solitude. I was able to write my name by the time I was two and a half and I said when I grew up I wanted to be a teacher. Don’t we all!?
2. I grew up five brothers and two sisters. I am the second oldest, but I have only met my older brother a handful of times and corresponded with him mostly through letters to him in his many stints in jail. Most are half-siblings, I have a brother and a sister who have the same mother and father as myself, the rest are all half and step siblings whom I treat as full blood.
3. When I was 12, I was placed into the care of a adolescent psychiatric ward for a few days and then a group home shortly after for the rest of the summer. I was an angry kid who wanted to get what she wanted. A compulsive liar and a need for instant gratification. They put some pills in my mouth, tried to subdue the violence in my heart, and sent me home.
4. When I was 15, I participated in modeling school. At the time, my aspirations moved from teacher to model/actress. I attended Barbizon modeling school, which my mother; I’m told; is still paying for. I didn’t get a chance to finish, due to so changes in my home life and thus, the tuition went to waste and I’m pretty sure it may be a scam. Sorry Mom!!!
5. I used to be a bully. That statement is likely the hardest thing for me to ever say about myself. I did some pretty terrible things in high school. From the time I started high school at age 15 through my junior year of high school, was a pretty much not a nice person. I would make fun of people, threaten people, spread rumors and break up relationships. For fun and amusement. Nothing more. I still have people who may hate me, people who still blame me for their poor experience in high school. I don’t blame them for it. And I can’t make my apologies more clear, though I doubt the words “I’m Sorry” will ever be enough. I hope that I can use these experiences to help my daughter be a better person than I was growing up.
6. I almost dropped out of high school in my senior year. Fortunately for me, someone very dear to me, took me in and helped me transfer to a new school in the area that I now live in. She helped give me stability in my life – something I hadn’t really grown up with before. She gave me peace of mind. She gave me responsibility. She gave me structure. In the end, I have her to thank for turning my life around and calming the beast inside of me down. I owe my graduation of high school, my attendance to college (however brief) and my decision to choose a different path to her. She is my savior and she knows who she is.
7. I met Kim on an internet dating site. We have been together since the beginning. We met and had our first date on April 21, 2003 and we made it official on May 1, 2003. She’s my first and only girlfriend. I dated and had sex with many boys and men before her. I was drunk the night I came on the phone and asked her to be my ‘girlfriend’. The rest – is really history!
8. Kim and I have a habit of taking in ‘strays’. Or rather, taking in my sisters. Both of whom I love dearly. The reason I bring it up, is because the first time we brought in first sister, we also took in her daughter. Who had just turned two at the time. Having this little ball of toddler fun in our home, helping care for her and keeping her close to our hearts is likely the reason we decided to start thinking long and hard about having a kid of our own. We got a trial run at the job as mothers and when my sister moved out and left to be on her own again, taking my niece with me, it really did a number on us. We also took in my teenage sister and got a nice trial run at that life too. I learned how to enroll a kid, the paper work, the teachers, the meetings. I got to be involved with the homework, the advice, the drama and the triumphs. In the end, she also went off to be on her own, now over 18, but I thank both my sisters for helping shape our parenting skills. They will be forever a part of how we raise our daughter.
9. I’m addicted to Netflix. Seriously. So, most of my interesting tidbits so far has been serious and a bit hard to swallow for me. However, this little tidbit is fun and light-hearted. I am utterly addicted to Netflix. All shows on Netflix – everything I watch is generally found on Netflix and/or branched out from Netflix. I found such gems as Ghost Whisperer, Supernatural, and Doctor Who! I quite enjoy binge watching all these shows to catch up and then move to DVR options if they are still on air.
10. I have an undiagnosed version of anxiety disorder, stemming from PTSD. No I’m not a soldier. I’m a woman who grew up with some pretty hardcore shit in her past. In the end, I’m currently going through a form of intense anxiety – spiraling into a sense of destructive behavior. I’m working on it weekly with a therapist, mostly because I don’t want the after effects of my own life to spill over into my daughter’s childhood and upbringing. At present, my days are full of anxiety, panic attacks, and lots of avoidance of certain situations.
11. My daughter looks just like me, but I hope she doesn’t become me. I say this because the paths; choices and decisions; I had to make in order to become the me I am today, has been a hard road, a tough road of tears and mistakes. I would prefer that my daughter not have to learn the lessons I learned in my 30 years of life. However, the path and choices I have experienced have made me who I am. In the end, I am pretty proud of who I am and who Punky has as a mother, but I would really be more proud if she can become a good and nice person without the extra baggage!
So that’s me. Here’s me in a nutshell. I will be 30 in May and I have a rich past, a beautiful present and an uncertain future. All I care about, in the end, is how my Punky monster turns out.
What about you? Tell me great tidbits about you? I love reading about other people’s lives!