Is it crazy that I am still astonished that we have a child? I mean, I get it. I planned for her, I carried her for nine months and she has been moving and shaking outside my belly for 7 months. I still can’t believe it. I still can’t fathom the fact that we have a child.
I find it hard to wrap my mind around the overwhelming sense of joy and love I have for Peyton. There is more in her eyes that melt my heart than anything ever has in my life. I never thought I could love someone as much as I love our daughter.
We were truly blessed. Absolutely blessed. I am not a religious person, so I am not quite sure how we were blessed, but its the only word I can think of to try and explain how I feel. Lucky, might be another way. Rewarded. For what, I am not sure. I can’t imagine what great deed I did in my life to deserve such a treasure.
She has changed so much in the last 7 months. Her pictures
really show how much she has changed. She started out as a tiny little blob of baby and she has grown into a ball of energy.
In the last 31 weeks, she has started crawling. She pulls herself up on things. She is never still for more than a few moments. She’s a giant. She is wearing 6-9 month sleepers and 12 month shirts and pants. She wears a size 2 shoe. She’s a TV junkie, which I suppose may not be good for her, but she’s a baby and she watches PBS Kids (To hell with you Mitt Romney, that’s a whole different topic). Our kid is smart. She is beautiful. She has personality.
She dances and she gives me wet. slobbery kisses and I love every minute of it. She eat “Happy Puffs” and really enjoys the Blueberry Sweet Potato and the Spinach Apple. We started giving her diced carrots and baby yogurt. Just this evening, she had a mixture of rice cereal and Plum Banana baby food. She ate the entire concoction. She doesn’t play around when it comes to her food.
All mothers should be real and make sure to mention that motherhood is a thankless job. Really, there are moments that I just don’t want to wrestle with her when I get home. I will be honest. But, then I look at her little smile and I just have to. I don’t have a choice. The little smile, full of four tiny teeth, she just gets me every time. No matter how tired I may be, she lights up my world.
She can smack me with her jerky little arm movements. She can pull my hair and poke me in the eye and I just don’t care. I am so thankful to have her in my life.
She truly is a miniature me, but she is so much more than that! To Kim and I both, she is the miracle that we have been given. She is the gift that we can share the rest of our lives. The bond that we will never break.
I feel like now, when I had truly given up hope of having a child, I am finally fulfilled. She has completed me. I believe she has completed us. Our family is finally whole and after 7 months, I still can’t believe it.
In the past, I never realized how much I wanted to have a child. It was, perhaps, something that I never really thought about. In the past, you were a distant dream, something that I would have never thought was possible. In the past, before you were even an idea, I didn’t think I was ready to be your mommy. Now, I know different.
As the months have gone by, I have gotten to know you, as you grow and grow inside of me. I have gotten to know your personality, your reactions to different sounds, your sleep patterns and your oh so sweet little kicks in my belly button. As the months have gone by, I have been amazed by how big you are getting and how fast your arrival is approaching. As the months have gone by, I am becoming more and more excited to meet you in person.
You are the miracle that I would have prayed for if I had known you were possible. You are the miracle that I would have thought more about, if I had known you would exist. You are the miracle that I will always be forever grateful for. You are the miracle that has come so naturally into my life, despite the way that you were thought up and created.
My sweet baby girl, whom I have not held in my arms yet, you are so loved and so wanted. You are my every hope and dream and so much more. I have so many thoughts of how you will turn out, what you will look like, who you will be. In the end, I hope that you will be everything you want to be. In the end, I hope that you will have all your dreams come true.
Though I may not be able to always give you things that you want in life, but you will always have everything you need. I will always be there to hold you when you cry, kiss you when you are happy, and stand by your side to give you the strength you will need to face all of life’s obstacles.
In three months, you will be here. Your Mama Kim and I are so very happy about your impending arrival. I hope you know that you are loved on more levels that I could ever express. You mean more to us than we can possibly put into words. We love you so much and we cannot wait until you are born so that we can kiss your cheeks and hold you tight and overwhelm you with all the love we have in our hearts for you.