The Right Side of History and God’s Thoughts?

The Supreme Court ruled on our family’s civil rights today. It didn’t really affect my family in the way I would hope it would – but it is a step in the right direction. The Supreme Court ruled to strike down DOMA (Defense Against Marriage Act) which federally defined marriage between a man and a woman. This means that any state that has legally married same-sex couples are now protected under federal law as a married couple and entitled to the same benefits and rights as those taxpayers in a heterosexual marriage.

This is big news!

Now, we live in Missouri. Missouri and our neighboring state Kansas currently have bans in the state constitution on same-sex marriage. Which means that our states do not recognize a marriage between same-sex couples, regardless of whether they get married in a state that grants same-sex marriage or not. I’ve yet to figure out, because I am currently writing this draft at work on my lunch break, what this means for my family in general.

I know striking down DOMA means that all states that currently have legalized gay marriage couples, will be afforded the same rights to the federal level. So, basically, those people married in those legal states are protected under federal law and now get their rights restored.

What does that do for those of us who do not currently live in a state that recognizes gay marriage? I am going to assume, it means nothing for us in the immediate future. We will simply go about our lives, unmarried and discriminated against until such a time as all states in the United States of America smarten up and decide to be on the right side of history. Perhaps sometime in the future, all the states and the people who populate it decide to treat all their taxpaying, law-abiding citizens and neighbors with the same rights and equality under the law.

Then I think of the post from one of my very favorite bloggers, Deborah for Kids Without Religion and the link she provided to the North Carolina Values Coalition. I found a lot of things interesting as to what is happening to the religious community in regards to their opinion of my family’s lack of civil rights and the outcome of this decision by the Supreme Court.

I hear all the time by the Conservative Right that in order to be a ‘true’ American you must trust in your government’s laws. You must abide by the law and you must be a patriot to our great country. This usually means following “Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ” and believing in the almighty “God” In order to be a true American, you must have these fundamental things down and in your very core.

So, two days ago, before the decision of the Supreme Court came down, I went to the website’s Facebook page, because of course, I was interested and intrigued. Low and behold, I was also looking to be pissed off for the rest of the night.

I found this woman’s wonderful prayer to her Lord and Savior. I am sure it is similar to other people who are her like-minded peers in this debate.

I’m have blacked out her name and picture because I do have respect for her beliefs, however, if you were to go to the public Facebook page, you will see her prayer in this exact entirety. She is proud of her beliefs, I am sure, so I am sure she will be thrilled to have the exposure of said prayer for my blog readers to see!

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If you can’t read this, here’s the transcript of the prayer.

Prayer for the Supreme Court and the Nation
Heavenly Father, we praise You for Your unchanging truth, holiness, righteousness, mercy and grace. You have given us a nation founded upon the principles of Your word. You have blessed us, but we have squandered Your grace and turned away from Your principles. So we come to You to plead for our nation.

Specifically, we pray for the pending Supreme Court decision on same sex marriage. We pray that next week the Court would not impose a false definition of marriage on our nation. Father, we confess that we in the Church have already sinned against You and have not been good stewards of the gift of marriage through our own issues with unfaithfulness, selfishness, pornography, homosexuality and divorce. Forgive us, Lord. Now our nation is following our imperfect example and seeks to redefine and corrupt the gift of marriage in order to satisfy its own lusts.

We acknowledge that through Jesus Christ we can repent and turn to You. So help the people of this nation to turn to You with repentant hearts, that we all may be covered in Your grace. Lord, have mercy on us. Lord, let Your purity and truth shine in this situation. Help us to proclaim to those enslaved by homosexuality, and any other sin, that liberty and identity is available in Jesus Christ. Help us to lovingly embrace the repentant.

Fill us with Your Spirit so that our thoughts, words and actions reflect Your love and not our judgment. Help us to trust in Your plan, and to act justly throughout it. We ask this in the name of Jesus Christ, Your Son and our Savior. Amen.”

So, when the decision from the Supreme Court came down, I thought about this prayer in particular. I thought of this woman and those in her same like-minded beliefs giving the future of my family, the fate of my daughter’s reality up to her god’s will.

Ok, well, and we all know that god’s will is righteous and correct. God’s will doesn’t make mistakes. We all know that if we are true Christian believers and believe in the word of the Lord, we must follow and trust in God’s will.

And realistically, this is what this woman has done. She has prayed for God’s will to stir the hearts and minds of the Supreme Court and the decision they were making about the fate of my family.

Now that the decision has come down on the opposite way in which this woman and her peers have been praying so fervently for, what does that mean for them? If God exists and we must trust in God’s will, then … I think …

God has made a very clear and direct point to his followers.

He has not answered your prayers.

What does that say to you? To me, that says, that God’s will is clear, if he is real and listens to your prayers. He denied your prayers. Your prayers were not answered?

Can we speculate as to why?

I can. I can speculate that this God of yours has made it very clear that your discrimination against your fellow human beings AND your hiding behind his name and word to justify it, is not acceptable. He has denied your prayers because God’s will is not the same as you have been persecuting your homosexual brothers and sisters in the Lord over.

Not only have you now used your God’s name to condemn an entire group of people, but you have also decided to discriminate and with hateful laws persecute those people. My family, in the name of God.

Well, it looks to me that God is telling you that you are wrong and you cannot have what you want. Looks to me that God is saying, everyone should be treated equally and instead of answering your prayers, he has chosen to go the opposite way and make his wishes very clear.

Of course, what do I know. I haven’t been to church in awhile. I personally believe the church does nothing but drive fear and brainwash children into believing things that may or may not be true, but we can’t prove any of is.

I guess, my question to this woman in light of her prayers not being answered is this:

Do you trust in God’s answer to your prayer? Do you trust in his will that you requested when you prayed to him? Or do you find some reason to believe this is not God’s answer and must be something else? Basically, will you be a hypocrite?

If so, I’m not surprised.

In the end, I don’t care what God thinks, because in the end I don’t think God played a part in this decision. I think common sense and good morals and good hearts had everything to do with this decision. End of story.

So, congratulations to all the ladies and gentlemen out there who are legally married in their states who will be now federally recognized! Congratulations to you all! I hope that when this very long journey is over, my family will be celebrating just as hard as you are currently!

Seeing Red For Gay Marriage

CAM00483I  have been sitting glued to my computer screen with live updates on ABC all day. I am in a constant state of nausea and nervousness and I hear the decisions won’t even be made until June. I’m sitting here wearing my red t-shirt, in near tears from the overwhelming sea of red that I find on my Facebook feed from supporters in my own family and friends.

Proposition 8 (commonly known as Prop 8) is before the United States Supreme Court today, and the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) has its day tomorrow. I am on pins and needles, because these things seriously effect my family and it affects my daughter’s future.

The future of my child’s life is in the hands of someone else and it scares me to death. I am still overwhelmed by the different possibilities that may happen as a result of this monumental event.

I can only hope that it will go our way and we can be treated equal, finally. I am dreaming of a wedding. I am hoping for a marriage. I’m hoping to be treated like my family members, like my friends, like my co-workers.

It’s not about religion, it’s not about a GOD. It’s about human rights. It’s about real people, about the rights of my daughter. It’s about the stability of our family. It’s about dignity and about equality. It’s about loving thy neighbor. It’s about being compassionate.

It doesn’t matter your religious views. It doesn’t matter what you belief or don’t believe in religiously. It’s about what is right or wrong. It’s wrong to discriminate. It’s wrong to call me less of an American because of who I love. It’s wrong to tell my daughter her parents are less than normal. It’s wrong to pass judgement on another human being.

We all deserve to be treated equal. We all deserve to be loved. We all deserve to love one another.

Because I am so overwhelmed with this, I just don’t have the words to convey how much this impacts me. Instead, I have decided to let other people say it for me.

10 Ways DOMA Affects Families Like Mine

A Picture is Worth More Than Words

Equality Thoughts from my Straight Friend

How DOMA Hurts Real Families

And the one who said it the best today, was my very dear friend. I found this post on my Facebook wall, and I hope that he doesn’t mind that I stole it. It really puts all my thoughts and feeling into words I can’t really find.

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“This week, I PRAY for the US Supreme Court Justices. I PRAY that of those who are Christian, they look to their morality and Jesus’ teaching that LOVE knows no bounds and all should be treated with respect, dignity, and LOVE. 

For all of the Justices, I pray they will use their internal knowing of what is right and wrong; as well as the Constitution and the unalienable rights of life, liberty, and the PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS as a guide. I PRAY they will remember that their job is a legal one and should not be swayed simply because of a belief they hold religiously. They have a LEGAL job to do. It is only God’s decision who shall be judged upon their sins – NOT that of a government, court, or, dare I say, the people. 

My prayers are with the nine HUMANS who have to make a decision about what is LEGALLY and MORALLY right; NOT what is RELIGIOUSLY right. I hope ALL Americans can respect that even if a decision is handed down that doesn’t match your RELIGIOUS beliefs, it is NOT a cause for you to be upset. This isn’t a question of RELIGION. It’s a question of HUMANITY.” — G.A.

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So, with that, I put out my own hopes and dreams and I land them on the shoulders of 9 people. 9 people who can hand me equality or take it away. 9 people who can tell my daughter that she will be okay with her two mothers. 9 people who can say to the world, it’s time to stand up and treat our fellow Americans as one.

I’m no less and no more than you. My family is no less and no more than  you. I just want to be able to stand up and tell my daughter it’s okay to love and it’s okay to be who you are.