Temporary Insanity

Right now, all I can think about is that my interim supervisor position at work is coming to an end soon. It will either become full-time or it will be over. I have my interview on Friday. I’m a damn nervous wreck. At the end of the day, I know whatever happens, I will do the very best that I can do. Just as I have been doing the last 2 and a half months in the position. 

In other news, K and I decided to visit my family this last weekend. Which means we put the trip to Iowa on hold. But, we hadn’t seen my parents or my family in nearly 6 months and it was time for a visit. I have been telling my parents we would come visit in May and then … maybe June …. for sure in July. By August, I just wasn’t making any promises.

Due to a financial snafu, of my own making, scatter-brained as I am, we were behind in a lot of bills, adding up K’s doctor’s visits, medication, and Punky’s extra-curriculars, not to mention my frequent trips to Walmart for retail therapy, it just wasn’t in the cards for a while.

Well, we finally got ourselves caught up, still slowly digging out of the hole, but better nonetheless.

So, instead of dwell on the upcoming nerves and anxiety inducing interview for a possible promotion that could help change my whole financial life, we will recap a visit with the family.

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On Thursday, before our trip, we had Punky’s 18 month doctor’s appointment. She’s 27 pounds and 12 ounces. 88 percentile in weight. She’s 34 and 3/4 inches tall. That puts her in the 99th percentile in height. Jeebs. The kid is taller and she’s off the chart.

She’s talking more and she’s mimicking more words. She just learned “apple” and “hey” She said “Hi Mom” the other day. Her very first two word sentence.

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We made it to my Grandma’s house for dinner on Friday. My sister’s kids were all there and they all had a fantastic time hanging out. If I haven’t announced on here, my brother and his wife finally conceived their first baby and so that will add a fifth to the mix soon. You can follow their little journey too, I do!  

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Punky and Robin are about 4 months apart. He’s a little older than her and will be two in November. They had a blast chasing balls, fighting over toys, and jumping on the furniture together. 

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Punky is pretty quiet and tends to like to play by herself, so while her cousins were making a squealing tornado out of great-grandma’s house, Punky was playing in a corner. Pigtails and all.

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Everyone kept insisting on giving her sticky things to eat. She had many sticky moments this weekend. The ringpop was Mama’s fault and the sucker was grandma’s fault.

 

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She ate some cheese pizza with my mom, chewed on a car I got at a garage sale for a quarter and played with a few pitbull puppies at my dad’s.

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Overall, besides not having but ONE nap the entire time we were gone (three days), she did pretty great. She’s finally asleep, I don’t hear her in her room protesting with her new favorite word “HEY!” anymore. 

The fall tv season has started this month, totally slipped my mind. Set up my DVR and wrote out my list of shows this Fall. So, if you are like me and you watch a lot of TV, hope you didn’t forget like I did!

Anyway, that was our weekend, we had a good time with my family and hope to get to Iowa for the marriage license soon. For now, one step at a time. Friday is my interview, wish me luck!!

No Longer Living Through Someone Else

Out From Behind My Little Sister’s Shadow
My sister and I
I am the child of divorced and remarried parents. This means I have a plethora of brothers and sisters. 5 brothers and 2 sisters to be exact. I am the second oldest of this sibling menagerie. This blog post however, is about my sister. You see, she and I have always been close. We are six years apart in age, which has always been interesting to me, how the hell were we ever close, it was like she tagged along and I sort of … let her.
Flash forward to more appropriate times. My sister was a teen mother. By the time she became a teen mother, I was already in my relationship with my partner. We had already resolved ourselves that we would likely not have the chance to have a child and thus the first time I laid eyes on my niece I was in love. That little girl was my beautiful sunshine, the apple of my eye, the absolute reason for my existence.
In most cases, when a girl gets pregnant at 15, their family is pretty shocked and our family was no different, it was just different for me. While I wished that she didn’t have to deal with diapers, screaming, and extra mommy duties at such a young age, I was so very ready to spoil this child rotten!
Now, let’s get to the confession part. I have been jealous of my little sister for probably a good portion, if not all of the last four and a half years. She probably doesn’t know this and I have yet to decide if I want to let her know about this blog so that she can finally know.
Basically, my sister has two babies and one on the way. For a lesbian without much chance of making the baby making dreams of her own come true, at the time, I just wanted to say “Enough is ENOUGH.” While I was happy for her, the more she got pregnant, the more depressed I got. 
Pumpkin and Monkey – Poodle is still in the Belly
Although, its really hard to stay depressed around these faces! I mean really. You can’t. Instead, you deal with the hand you have been dealt and you move on. At least, that’s what I thought before I found a way to make my own baby making dreams come true.
Now that I am pregnant, I don’t have to live through my sister, I don’t have to be jealous of her, even though I was so very happy for her and still am incredibly proud of her for growing up, putting her big girl panties on and raising the hell out of her two and a half babies.  I am glad, because I didn’t like that feeling. I didn’t like the resentment and the wishing, the longing and the saddness. The disappointment.
Now that I am pregnant, I don’t have to be jealous and that makes me feel great! And soon, my niece and nephew and little Poodle on the way will have their very own cousin! I know I had so much fun with my cousins. They really are the first friends that we ever really have growing up and its awesome that we are growing our family to include cousins!
So, in a small way, I have been thinking about how I have so much more in common with my sister, who has always been one of my best friends. I know I can call her for those weird cravings and those strange cramping pains and those all hours of the night tingling sensations in my feet and she will understand. She really is the know-it-all of all things babies and I am so lucky to have her on speed dial.
I ❤ YOU SISTER.