Another Year


For the love I never expected,

So many years ago.

The love I never anticipated, envisioned, or imagined;

but so much more than I desired.

For a love that was never defined to me,

The traditional relationship between two people;

This life with you has been like nothing

Anyone could of prepared me for.

You strengthen me when I am weak –

The bonds between us may have thinned

at times throughout these years;

Instead of allowing the strings to break,

We held on tighter, my dear.

For when I look back on the time we have loved;

And the times we have merely existed,

The good always outweighs the bad

And in that moment, I know –

It’s rare for people to know true love,

To allow it to take over,

We have weathered the storms, we have held on for dear life

And came out on the other side.

Life threw stones and we held fast and held strong,

Held each other

Not allowing it to knock us down.

Love was never about happiness –

More than it was about togetherness.

My darling, you are the soul mate, the air I breathe,

The match that I had been searching for –

You saved me from me.

Eleven years ago, we made it official. To stick together and weather all the storms that came our way. I didn’t know then, that there would be trying times, but in the end – it’s made us stronger, better, and more in love.

When you learn that love isn’t about rainbows and it isn’t about smiles and it isn’t about the good times – you know you can truly love someone when the storms come – and you rise to the challenge together and come out on the other side.

Growing up, this was not the love I was taught about – this wasn’t the love that I saw. The love I saw was volatile, unforgiving, and in the end, broken. I learned that while not everyone is meant to be together – the people who are meant to be together, work at it.

Love is hard work.

Love is compromise and sacrifice.

Its being driven to the very edge of your sanity and holding on by the one small thread that’s left – knowing that your love for the other person is worth it. The life you share is timeless. The beauty of the love you have is a fight you just can’t give up on.

When I look at our love -I know the odds have always been stacked against us. Mental illness and personalities and history – the way we were raised, the way we grew up, the opposites in which we are in most cases.

And, yet – we complete each other. For everything I am not, she is. For everything she is not, I am. In every sense of the word – two souls have been split and we form the whole. The soul mate.

I found mine. How lucky it is to be me.

My whole life, I have watched relationships crumble, teaching me that love doesn’t last – it’s not worth it and there’s nothing you can do about it.

Now, I know different. Eleven years later, I can stand up straight and say, “I know what love is.”

Unconditional, raw, absolutely not pure, beautiful, emotional and heart-wrenching. Love is not a cake-walk. Love is a constant and ever changing challenge.

Rise to it and you will know true love. I have risen to that challenge and I will continue to accept that challenge. I will teach our daughter how to love the right way. Help show her that love does exist, if you are willing to accept the flaws, there is no perfection in the realm of love.

To many, many more years, my love –  you are the heart beat of my soul. Happy Anniversary, Kim. You are my everything.

If you want to read about my journey to love and how it began.