Temporary Insanity

Right now, all I can think about is that my interim supervisor position at work is coming to an end soon. It will either become full-time or it will be over. I have my interview on Friday. I’m a damn nervous wreck. At the end of the day, I know whatever happens, I will do the very best that I can do. Just as I have been doing the last 2 and a half months in the position. 

In other news, K and I decided to visit my family this last weekend. Which means we put the trip to Iowa on hold. But, we hadn’t seen my parents or my family in nearly 6 months and it was time for a visit. I have been telling my parents we would come visit in May and then … maybe June …. for sure in July. By August, I just wasn’t making any promises.

Due to a financial snafu, of my own making, scatter-brained as I am, we were behind in a lot of bills, adding up K’s doctor’s visits, medication, and Punky’s extra-curriculars, not to mention my frequent trips to Walmart for retail therapy, it just wasn’t in the cards for a while.

Well, we finally got ourselves caught up, still slowly digging out of the hole, but better nonetheless.

So, instead of dwell on the upcoming nerves and anxiety inducing interview for a possible promotion that could help change my whole financial life, we will recap a visit with the family.


On Thursday, before our trip, we had Punky’s 18 month doctor’s appointment. She’s 27 pounds and 12 ounces. 88 percentile in weight. She’s 34 and 3/4 inches tall. That puts her in the 99th percentile in height. Jeebs. The kid is taller and she’s off the chart.

She’s talking more and she’s mimicking more words. She just learned “apple” and “hey” She said “Hi Mom” the other day. Her very first two word sentence.


We made it to my Grandma’s house for dinner on Friday. My sister’s kids were all there and they all had a fantastic time hanging out. If I haven’t announced on here, my brother and his wife finally conceived their first baby and so that will add a fifth to the mix soon. You can follow their little journey too, I do!  


Punky and Robin are about 4 months apart. He’s a little older than her and will be two in November. They had a blast chasing balls, fighting over toys, and jumping on the furniture together. 


Punky is pretty quiet and tends to like to play by herself, so while her cousins were making a squealing tornado out of great-grandma’s house, Punky was playing in a corner. Pigtails and all.



Everyone kept insisting on giving her sticky things to eat. She had many sticky moments this weekend. The ringpop was Mama’s fault and the sucker was grandma’s fault.




She ate some cheese pizza with my mom, chewed on a car I got at a garage sale for a quarter and played with a few pitbull puppies at my dad’s.





Overall, besides not having but ONE nap the entire time we were gone (three days), she did pretty great. She’s finally asleep, I don’t hear her in her room protesting with her new favorite word “HEY!” anymore. 

The fall tv season has started this month, totally slipped my mind. Set up my DVR and wrote out my list of shows this Fall. So, if you are like me and you watch a lot of TV, hope you didn’t forget like I did!

Anyway, that was our weekend, we had a good time with my family and hope to get to Iowa for the marriage license soon. For now, one step at a time. Friday is my interview, wish me luck!!

The Utterly Uneventful Weekend – Thankfully

So, with the last week full off a sea of poop, we are looking at a simple and quiet weekend at home.

This house is full of Nick Jr. and a dancing toddler.’

With Punky being so content and playing independently, I have been able to design and set up my new Etsy Shop. I am a little obsessed right now. I just realized that there really aren’t many birth announcements and baby shower invitations for same sex couples out there. At least, not any that I would want to use. So, I decided that I would sit down and make my own.

I’m having a ton of fun with it. It’s been a while since my mind has been this creative and I can sit in front of my computer and just let my mind create. I do so love the awesomeness of Photoshop.

While doing this, I have been using Punky’s newborn and baby pictures as stand ins for some of the announcements. It really reminds me of how much she has grown and changed over the last year. She’s so big and her hair is longer and her limbs are longer and she’s more mobile.

It’s astonishing to me.

There are so many people out there in my blogging friend community who are getting BIG POSITIVES  it’s almost as if spring is definitely in the air and the lesbian baby making boom has arrived! Congratulations to all of you and I can’t wait to follow your journey until you make it to the place we are with Punky!

I never realized how awesome it is to be in a circle of like-minded people in this community. I find myself talking about each of you in some sense and it makes my day to see new posts and updates in the your adventures.

I’d really love it if you would check out the new shop I am working so hard on and maybe share it around with your friends! Don’t forget, blog readers get 10% off all personalized pregnancy or birth announcements right now! Custom orders, no problem! (Coupon Code: MAMAS)

I promise, I will have something else to talk about eventually, right now, this is where I am focusing my attention and creativity and it makes me have a new sense of excitement.



That’s how I spent my weekend, how about you?

New Etsy Shop Up And Running

So, this is just a little update. I have a new Etsy shop up and running. Printable invitations of all types. Mostly, right now, baby showers and birth announcements are listed. I will have more designs up and running sooner or later!

I will send you a digital file and you can print it as many times as you want!

So, if you guys have any desires for announcements or invitations of some kind, I am giving you guys a discount for being such an awesome community. So, if you are wanting to order something, or contact me for a custom listing, use this coupon code MAMAS for 10% off any order!

Go check it out, Mamas! I am putting the link to the shop on the navigation as well, so when you need announcements of any kind, hit me up!



Events You Can Print

I Traumatized My Baby

So, we all know that Peyton is 4 and a half months old. She’s still little, regardless of her size. Technically, the baby is a giant! Anyway, we planned a trip to visit my family this passed weekend and it didn’t really go the way I had hoped.

Mommy and Peyton

Let’s preface this by saying …. Peyton only knows her mommies.

Truly, we don’t have people over and we don’t really go out with her. We are both pretty much homebodies and don’t leave the apartment if we can help it. Peyton knows my brother because he comes to visit, my sister because she lives with us, Kim’s sister because she visits frequently, and Kim’s mom and step-dad because we are over there a lot.

Papa Gary makes Peyton scream

However, Peyton kind of made it look like she hates men. She screamed at my dad. She screamed at my step dad. She screamed at my grandpa. BUT, she also screamed at my mom and my grandma as well.

So, its not a gender thing. Its not about having two mommies. I am sure that people will be jumping to the conclusion that the lack of males in her life has a bad effect on her tiny brain. That’s not true. 

My daughter was unsure all weekend

It is now the time in her development where she is creating bonds with the people she knows and cares about. She doesn’t know my family. It makes me sad really. It was even worse when she was screaming at my grandpa and then he didn’t know who I was. He’s getting dementia and that’s another story, but it still made me sad that I couldn’t get a picture of Peyton with my grandpa because she wouldn’t let him hold her. I don’t know how long he has left with us.

Basically, Peyton isn’t really exposed to different kinds of people. This is our fault. She’s not used to loud places or people. She’s not used to being in the car that much and the drive was 2.5 hours to and from. She’s not used being held all the time or having people in her face constantly. She’s not used to being passed around and she’s not used to being played with all the time.

This is her “unimpressed” face

Peyton has a schedule. This weekend screwed up her schedule. She didn’t nap. She refused to nap. Not only because she was overwhelmed, but also because she had some much she wanted to see. Not to mention that I realized this weekend that I have a serious baby. Her personality is pretty quiet and observant. She wants to look at everyone. She wants to see what’s going on. She really doesn’t smile at people unless she means it.

This weekend. She didn’t really mean it. She was not impressed with my family and she was not impressed with the importance that I had in my heart for her to love my side of the family. They were so excited for us to come visit and so excited to see her. They hadn’t seen her since she was 3 weeks old, so she is more interactive now. Unfortunately, she usually just gave them all this funny look.


So, the entire weekend, we fought about napping and interacting. She didn’t want to take naps, so she was always tired. A tired baby is not a happy baby. Unfortunately, that made things so much worse. She is not at all a nice baby when she hasn’t had her naps. She is on a schedule of sleeping, eating, playing and repeating all through the day. She didn’t have her bed or her toys readily on hand. So, instead, she was not interested in playing or sleeping in unfamiliar territory.

Her cousin is grabbing on her.

Instead of playing with her cousins, who … I’ll admit … are a little loud and ornery, she played with her toes. Her toes and her mommies were her best friends this weekend.

So sleepy and sucking on her toes
is apparently very soothing.

Even when we got home, she was not having any part of naps or being playful and cute. She screamed at us for a really long time and it wasn’t until this morning that she was even close to her normal self. So, note to her mommies, we need to socialize the kid. I didn’t think it really made a difference, since she was so small. Apparently, that’s something we need to work on. I am going to see if I can find a mommy and me type thing to take her to. She can’t sit on her own yet, but I really think just bringing her around other people will be helpful.

We have another visit in October. Let’s hope by then she will be older, less skittish, and more socialized!!

Take Care

Riding In Cars With Babies

So, today we embark on a long road trip. We are going to visit my family about three hours away. Not so long a road trip for most people, but it is kind of a long trip for me. Especially at the price of gas right now.

Gas prices are another subject altogether though. I am not writing about gas prices. I am writing about taking my almost 5 month old daughter on a 3 hour car ride today.

See, when I was pregnant, I had to pee a lot. So, when we went on this car ride, we were sure that I would have to stop the car and pee every hour and the three hours would triple to like nine or something. That didn’t happen, baby Peyton in the womb was very kind to me and never made me stop the car to pee.

Peyton is the Princess

I have a feeling, baby Peyton, now the tiny ruler of the universe, will not be so happy to oblige. Let me tell you why I think this:

When the car is going, Peyton is happy. If the car stops for any reason, she screams. If a fast paced song comes on the radio, she screams. If the sun gets in her face, she screams. If the bass is too much for her (AKA rap or hip hop), she screams. If she is bored, she screams.

Fun, right?

This is her “Do What I Say” face.

So, I have tried to be prepared. However, packing for my 5 month old tends to also be a chore. We will be out of town for 4 days. This means she has her own bag full of outfits and onesies. She can’t share the same suitcase as her Mommies and she certainly can’t fit her clothes, books, and toys in the diaper bag. The diaper bag has all the ‘just in case’ medicine, diapers, super awesome wipes, formula and several extra bottles.

Yes, I realize my daughter is … kind of spoiled.

No more pictures!!

I’m not worried about that. What I am worried about is getting to her many toys and such while I am driving. I am not sure if her Mama will be in the back seat with her or sleeping in the front seat with me. That is something we have yet to discuss.

So, for the time being, I have two toys attached to her car seat – they are a big bouncing pink pig that makes music when she pulls on it and Darwin the monkey. Why is the monkey so important?

He has a mirror on his belly.

Why is this important?

The mirror holds her best friend. That girl in the mirror that cracks her up!

That girl in the mirror has a Grammy too!

Hope everyone has a great weekend and I will see the family I will see while we are in town.

Take Care ❤

Can’t wait to see Uncle Cody again! We can share a bite of astronaut!

A Little Rounder … A Little Claustrophobic

Its amazing to me how fast these past 17 weeks have gone by. Sunday will mark my pregnancy at 18 weeks. Babycenter.com says that the baby is the length of a bell pepper. Its just so remarkable the way that my body has also changed. My brain has really stayed pretty neutral, but my body says YOU’RE PREGNANT.

Mostly, I still forget I am pregnant. At least in my mind. My body is starting to round out, my belly is starting to pop out. I took so simple pictures in the vanity mirror this morning and when I get a chance, I will post them. We are almost at the halfway mark and I have only gained 3 pounds, which according to my doctor is just where I need to be.

UPS: We are paying off our rent issues now that my partner has gotten her disability approved. We are going to stay in our apartment until a 2 bedroom opens up or we can find a house. Things are looking up in the housing department right now.  I also applied for a new position within the company. I admit, I don’t believe I will be considered for it, but its nice to have a little hopefully wish in the back of my mind. I know I would be great in the position, but I don’t know how much criteria they will use to consider people.

DOWNS: For one, I really feel claustrophobic in my own body. Its hard to breathe just sitting here typing this and god forbid I try to get out of bed, or even out of the couch. Climbing our three flights of stairs to get to the apartment is a joke.  I’m disappointed that we won’t be getting into a 2 bedroom as soon as I would like. I am looking forward to decorating the nursery. It is my most anticipated event in this pregnancy that will be put on the back burner for a bit.

All in all, week 17 has been alright. Definitely better emotionally than last week. I admit, for the most part, I am just BLAH.

Dear Baby

I don’t know what you will be, a girl or a boy. I am excited to find out in the next three weeks. I started the 2nd trimester of your growth in my belly and I just cannot wait until I can hold you in my arms. I want to lift you up to my face and nuzzle my nose to your nose.

I admit, when I was younger, I didn’t want to have a baby. Of course, I was fifteen and I don’t think anyone should want a baby that early. Not on purpose. However, that wasn’t the reason I didn’t want a baby. I always said that I didn’t want a baby, because children break up mommies and daddies. They make life complicated … messy. I didn’t want that for myself. I was afraid I wouldn’t be a very good mom, I didn’t want that for my baby.

For the last few years, I have realized that I have grown up and I am ready for you. Now that you are growing in my belly, I know that I am more than ready for you. I know I will be a great mommy for you. I know you are going to grow up to be the best child I could ask for. I know that this pregnancy happened for a reason and I am going to make sure that you are the happiest baby in the world!

I can’t wait to meet you. Just 6 and a half more months  to go. See you then my little peanut.


My Ultrasound Looks Like A Baby

So, at our last appointment on Wednesday, we were going in to hear the heartbeat. I am 12 weeks and apparently this is when that sort of thing is done. There is not an ultrasound machine in the office, so I wasn’t really sure how this was going to work.

We were talking to the doctor in the room and my partner decided to tell him that I am convinced that there is nothing in there. Now, that’s not altogether true. I believe there is probably something in there, but its hard to say if everything is ok. I am paranoid. He asked me why it was I felt that way. I simply said, its too early for me to feel anything as far as movement goes and frankly, I don’t feel that much different other than some tenderness and swollen feet.

He proceeds to tell me that we will just listen to the heartbeat and put my mind at ease. He pulls out the little handheld and we get to work. My partner brought the camera, so we could capture the first heartbeats of our baby. Except ….

The doctor couldn’t find a heartbeat. So much for putting my mind at ease. Instead he sent me downstairs to get an ultrasound for ‘viability’. That’s a scary word. I just want you to know how scary that word is. Let it sink in. VIABILITY. Scary. It just is.

So, I was told I needed a full bladder, which I had that with the last two ultrasounds and knew ahead of time. The appointment for the ultrasound wasn’t for another hour. So I was drinking water and tea for about an hour and a half. By the time the ultrasound technician came to get me, not only was I anxious about ‘viability’ but I was about to wet myself.

When we got back to the room, the technician told me that I could pee. I didn’t need to be ‘that full’. Son of a bitch. Why didn’t someone tell me that I could have peed thirty minutes ago?!

Anyway, back to the ultrasound.

She found the heartbeat and we got pictures. The heartbeat was 160 and the baby is measuring 13 weeks, which isn’t really the case until Sunday. I was so happy to see the baby moving around in there! I have never been more relieved in my life.

The baby was waving its arms around and bending its knees to kick of the sides of things. It was doing flips in there and twisting and turning. I can’t imagine what it will be like when I can actually FEEL it, if this baby is that active now. I’m just glad that the baby is ok.

The scanning is a little off, but here they are. Left: Profile, Right: Face
In other baby news, I have been having ridiculous pains in my lower back and hips. Apparently, like everything else I am experiencing, its too early for that. My doctor just looks at me and says, “We have a long way to go.” Oy. So, he is sending me to physical therapy to get some stretches or something, because everytime I bend over, sit, or get out of a chair, my hips are killing me. Sometimes worse than others, but usually most of the time.
Because I was supposed to schedule this appointment with physical therapy, I thought I should probably, finally, find out what my medical insurance covers for pregnancy and other assorted things. My partner says with 3 ultrasounds in 12 weeks, this baby is surely going to be a pain in the ass even outside the womb. With that in mind, I figured I better check.
What I learned? I learned I have nearly met my $1000 deductible in 3 months with all the bills I have been accruing. Now .. don’t get me wrong, I am fully aware that this was going to be expensive, but when I signed up for insurance, I didn’t consider having a baby that year. I nearly fell out of my chair when that woman told me I had already racked up nearly $1000 and I still have 6-7 months to go!
Anyway, on the bright side, we have the baby we have been dreaming up growing and moving and shaking inside. I am not going to let a little thing like money get in our way. Today is the day I have decided to TRY and actually quit smoking. At the time of this post, I have yet to have a cigarette. SO, we will see how it goes when I get home.
Wish me luck.
On our next visit, in 4 weeks, we will be setting up an appointment to see what we are having!
Take Care

No Longer Living Through Someone Else

Out From Behind My Little Sister’s Shadow
My sister and I
I am the child of divorced and remarried parents. This means I have a plethora of brothers and sisters. 5 brothers and 2 sisters to be exact. I am the second oldest of this sibling menagerie. This blog post however, is about my sister. You see, she and I have always been close. We are six years apart in age, which has always been interesting to me, how the hell were we ever close, it was like she tagged along and I sort of … let her.
Flash forward to more appropriate times. My sister was a teen mother. By the time she became a teen mother, I was already in my relationship with my partner. We had already resolved ourselves that we would likely not have the chance to have a child and thus the first time I laid eyes on my niece I was in love. That little girl was my beautiful sunshine, the apple of my eye, the absolute reason for my existence.
In most cases, when a girl gets pregnant at 15, their family is pretty shocked and our family was no different, it was just different for me. While I wished that she didn’t have to deal with diapers, screaming, and extra mommy duties at such a young age, I was so very ready to spoil this child rotten!
Now, let’s get to the confession part. I have been jealous of my little sister for probably a good portion, if not all of the last four and a half years. She probably doesn’t know this and I have yet to decide if I want to let her know about this blog so that she can finally know.
Basically, my sister has two babies and one on the way. For a lesbian without much chance of making the baby making dreams of her own come true, at the time, I just wanted to say “Enough is ENOUGH.” While I was happy for her, the more she got pregnant, the more depressed I got. 
Pumpkin and Monkey – Poodle is still in the Belly
Although, its really hard to stay depressed around these faces! I mean really. You can’t. Instead, you deal with the hand you have been dealt and you move on. At least, that’s what I thought before I found a way to make my own baby making dreams come true.
Now that I am pregnant, I don’t have to live through my sister, I don’t have to be jealous of her, even though I was so very happy for her and still am incredibly proud of her for growing up, putting her big girl panties on and raising the hell out of her two and a half babies.  I am glad, because I didn’t like that feeling. I didn’t like the resentment and the wishing, the longing and the saddness. The disappointment.
Now that I am pregnant, I don’t have to be jealous and that makes me feel great! And soon, my niece and nephew and little Poodle on the way will have their very own cousin! I know I had so much fun with my cousins. They really are the first friends that we ever really have growing up and its awesome that we are growing our family to include cousins!
So, in a small way, I have been thinking about how I have so much more in common with my sister, who has always been one of my best friends. I know I can call her for those weird cravings and those strange cramping pains and those all hours of the night tingling sensations in my feet and she will understand. She really is the know-it-all of all things babies and I am so lucky to have her on speed dial.