Blue is for Boys. I am a Girl.

I really didn’t expect that phrase so soon. I mean … THREE.

I’m sure I helped perpetuate the norms of boy and girl separation. We are potty training, so when we were out at Olive Garden once, she attempted to go into the men’s restroom and I redirected her to the little icon with the dress and said, “Girls go in this potty.” Mostly , so that she would know that boys and girls don’t go to the bathroom together, but well, I think I just made it stick in her head that girls wear dresses and boys don’t.

Now I’m frustrated. Not because it’s that big of a deal and frankly, she can like what she wants, be what she wants.

She’s old enough now to make her own choices. I’m doing my very best to make sure she knows she has options. She doesn’t have to be stuck in the social norms of what is expected of her.

She loves pink. Absolutely loves it. And I’m okay with that. When I asked her what she wanted for her birthday theme to be, she told me Minnie and Mickey. I asked if she wanted Minnie to wear a pink dress or a red one. She picked pink. No hesitation. So pink it was and that included her pink castle cake. (Yes, that’s a cake, thanks Grammy!)

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Her Minnie Mouse Tea party was a little more low key than we have been used to, but with my being out of work right now, we didn’t have the money we usually have to rent the clubhouse and hold all the people we wanted to invite. So we invited her friends and mostly immediate family like grandparents and aunts/uncles who could make it.

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She likes to climb shit. Loves it. She loves to climb, the higher the better. And I’m well, I’m not okay with it as it gives me anxiety, but I’m okay with it.

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The pyramid she’s climbing in that second picture is 30 feet high made of metal and ropes. The sign outside the pyramid says for 5+ years and it probably makes me an irresponsible mom, but she’s been eyeballing the damn thing for over a year. Kim came with us to the park this last time and convinced me to let her climb it.

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Kim helped me keep my cool while my heart was in my throat, threatening to pump right out of my body! Literally, I was having small panic attacks the whole time, small squeaks emitted from my mouth and I was bouncing around on the ground like a spotter in gym, waiting for her to come tumbling down from that thing.

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But no matter how terrifying it was for me, so much so that Kim had to remind me to take pictures, which never happens. I am ALWAYS taking pictures, I don’t want her to lose that adventurous spirit. I don’t want her to be stuck in a box that says Boys do this and Girls do this. That doesn’t mean I don’t want her to be “girly” or traditionally feminine if that’s what she wants to be. I’m not bucking society just to be “progressive”. I just want to make sure that she know she has choices, that she has options. She can be whoever and whatever she wants to be!

Since she has had her birthday, we have kicked up our bedtime routine a notch. We read a story or two before bed every night and I think she really enjoys it. She can actually sit through a story and she can interact with me. It’s amazing to me the things she remembers.

We even went to the library the other day and she got to pick out her own book. From the time I told her we were going until we got there, she told me she wanted a “spider book” (YUCK), so we got her a spider book and she loves it, so much so, I may have to purchase it. She also got a Princess book, the “mouse and cookie” book, and “Llama Llama mad at Mama”.

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Along with a bed time story, I always ask her what her favorite part of the day was and what she wants to do tomorrow. I also ask her what she wants to be when she grows up. She’s been pretty consistent for the last several months in saying “Doctor”. Guess I better save some money!

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Whatever she wants, I just want to nurture her spirit, her imagination and creatiivity. I want her to know she has so many options that she doesn’t have to stick to the norms of society, the gender stereotypes. I was just so disheartened today when I heard the phrase come out of her mouth.

“I don’t like blue. Blue is for boys.”

But blue isn’t just for boys. How do you relay that to a kid? She has to have heard that somewhere and it makes me sad. I have been working really hard to break those thoughts and really steer her down her own path, where ever that will be, I will follow her lead. And if she really just doesn’t like blue, that’s OK! I just don’t want it to be because she’s a girl and girls don’t like blue.

The more she grows, the more personality she gives and shows. I’m enjoying seeing her grow into this little person all of her own, but I want her to be the one making those choices, for herself. Because I love her with my whole heart and I want her to love herself with her whole heart.

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15 thoughts on “Blue is for Boys. I am a Girl.

  1. Yup, we are also a “colors are for everyone” family. That plus hypervigilance about shutting down/discrediting disparaging remarks about “improper” clothing color choices or other gender norms. And finding relatable counter-examples (e.g., your grandmother has short hair and she’s a girl, Uncle So-and-so has that pink tie you like and he’s a boy).

  2. The assignment of gender to colors chaps my ass! I seriously hate how pervasive it is in our society. In the 1950s, pink was actually considered to be a masculine color. I forget when it changed, but there ya have it – pink used to be for “boys”. I just tell Evelyn all colors are for everyone.

    Punky looks so cute as a doctor!

    • Thanks, Lindsay, I totally knew that thing about pink, I don’t know when that changed and it’s ridiculous. She does look pretty damn adorable in her scrubs! 😛

  3. We just checked out a book called Princesses Don’t Always Wear Pink. The theme is mainly that you can still wear a sparkly crown/feel like a princess while playing baseball, wearing cleats, digging in the dirt, etc. And yes, even while dancing in a dress (that isn’t pick) RR likes it a lot and while we’re not having conversations about boy things/colors and girl things/colors, I hope it’s helping to smear the line eventually. I really like the message that it’s okay to love princesses AND do “boy stuff” (I just gagged at even the concept of boy stuff. UGH)

  4. I would be afraid my child would climb that pyramid and then I would have to climb up to get them down. No thank you! She looks like she enjoyed it though and that is what matters 🙂

    • She got stuck and wanted me to come up there, at one point, but she figured it out. Kim says its a good way to help her problem solve, because Mommy won’t always be able to save her from being stuck.

  5. They pick up on so much from every where at this age. It is almost impossible to keep that bubble of innocence intact. We try and just roll with it, everything seems to be a momentary phase these days anyway. That cake is AH-MAZING!!!! PS: I would have had an anxiety attack watching any kid climb up that pyramid! Eeeekk! Brave Punky!

    • Yea, the pyramid gives me panicky feelings every time! But she just loves it and does really well watching her feet and keeping focused on what she’s doing.

  6. My boys are wearing pink shirts for Easter with teal bow ties and Mary is wearing a teal dress. We don’t particularly care what people say about it either. Colors are for everyone! And look at Punky go on the climber! I would have freaked out, but good for her! Adventurous is right!

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