A Rose By Any Other Name….

So we went to the Social Security office to get a replacement card for Miss Punky. We figured since we were already there, we might as well get my name changed, since it takes forever to drive there and it’s a pain in the ass to go there.

We found out that Missouri is STILL in appeal, thus we can’t change my name.

So does that mean we are really married? I don’t know. I still go by that name,but it makes things confusing when we have to do legal stuff like applications and job stuff. Signing up for things and the like is difficult, because I have to remember which name I have given to people in order to be consistent.

It’s just a little disheartening that we have a marriage license, its signed and paid for. And yet, I can’t legally change my name and it’s just a name – it’s not a validation of our marriage or our commitment to each other. It’s just sad that we have to go through all these hoops and then I see comments on my news feed in regards to politics and religion that want to tear down the basis of my family. All the while, these same people saying things like “I don’t agree with your position on this, but you know I love your family.”

Obviously … I just don’t see the logic behind that.

People are always, in my mind, entitled to their opinion, though I would appreciate less platitudes from my ‘friends’ in regards to my family. If you support certain politicians or certain laws being put in place, that’s great, but it doesn’t do me any confidence, only some kind of band-aid, for you to say, “But, it doesn’t really apply to you!”

I mean really. It’s like saying “I don’t like your lifestyle and you are probably going to hell, but I love you anyway.” That statement is so contradictory. I just don’t understand and I generally ignore these comments, internalize them. I just brush them off and pretend it doesn’t matter, because it won’t matter to the person I attempt to educate. Because these people, who say things like this don’t know what it’s like to live the life I live, in the family I live. To be me. People think they know, but they don’t. It’s not your experience, you have no idea.

And of course, this is all over a damn name change.

Anyway! Onto more exciting news!

Miss Punky will be three on Saturday!

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With my issues with work right now, and my sudden stay at home status – money has been tight. I’m used to giving her the giant parties and celebrating her birthday with lots and lots of love, family, friends, and decorations. Unfortunately, this year, the big extravaganza is not an option. I’m sad about it, but it’s my hang up. I know that she won’t remember, I know the parties are more for me than for her. I know that, in my logical mind.

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Play glasses from the eye doctor recycle bin.

But, in my effort to make Punky’s childhood more fun and more child-like than mine was. So, I parent out of my own guilt and out of my own trauma. I know that – with my therapist’s help, I get it. But, I don’t think it’s a bad thing.

I just have to remember that I’m the best mom I can be. No amount of money, no amount of parties or things will change that. So, before we ran out of money, I purchased two tickets to Disney on Ice for myself and Punky. I’ve never been before, but it looks like something she will really enjoy.

She got a birthday present in the mail from a relative out of town, so I will be using that box to put together an extra special “invitation from Minnie Mouse” to enjoy the show!

postcard

I’m also going to be making her an outfit sent in the box from Minnie Mouse for her to wear to the show. I am making her a shirt with Minnie Mouse on the front and “It’s My Birthday” and on the back it will have her name and the number 3, like a jersey. Pair that shirt with a tutu skirt, tights, and her high tops, she’s going to be set.

I have also been holding onto a very pretty sparkly necklace with a Minnie Mouse Pendant for her to wear with her outfit.

Along with all my lofty goals, I want to do her hair with this tutorial. It’s going to be fantastic if I can get her to sit still long enough!

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So the box will be on the porch for her. I can’t decide if I should give it to her the night before or the morning of! Decisions, Decisions.

My little Punky will have a great third birthday, I just want her to have fun and enjoy being a kid. I just want her to stay as sweet and innocent as she is when she sleeps! This is the best way I can do it.

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Along with her Disney on Ice experience, her godparents are planning a miniature party for her as well on her birthday at their house and then next week, we are having a tea party for her and her little friends here at our house.

So, not a giant party, but it will hopefully still be as special as she is! Because, boy do we love this little girl so much!

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11 thoughts on “A Rose By Any Other Name….

  1. We went to Disney on Ice a few weeks ago and not only did our 3 year old love it our 13 year old even said it wasn’t as bad as he was expecting..HA thanks kid! I am betting your daughter will love it and look adorable!
    I am sorry for the name change thing. Listening to others opinions on it is often times hard I totally agree. The I do not support it but your family is different idea seems absurd to me but one we have heard before. I hope everything gets resolved and you can legally be Mrs X soon!

    • I am glad your 3 year old enjoyed it, I was afraid she wouldn’t be able to sit still long enough, but really hoping it was worth the trouble! She absolutely loves Minnie Mouse, so I just hope she loves this. As for the name thing, its a bummer, but we are just going to take it in stride and move on, til it’s resolved!

  2. Were you married in Missouri? I think the only thing the federal government cares about it’s legality in the state celebrated in, not what state you live in.

    • We were married in Missouri. We actually got married the very first day they announced that licenses were being issued. However, our state is now in state of appeal, so they won’t be allowing me to change my name until the appeal is finalized and hopefully overturned.

      • Well, originally we were going to get married in Kansas, but they went into appeal and stopped accepting licenses. A month or so later, Missouri started giving out licenses. So, that’s probably where the confusion came from. 🙂

  3. A very happy birthday to Miss Punky and hopefully the whole marriage thing will be settled once and for all in April when the Supreme Court takes up the case. Cheers.

  4. Disney on ice is AWESOME!!! Mary almost passed out when Elsa and Anna came out and sang “LEt it go”. Punky is gonna love it! Sorry to hear about the name change situation. It’s ridiculous already! Over 3/4 of the country is over it, WTH Missouri! Hope that happens for your family soon…

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