Unexpected Stay at Home Mom

I haven’t actually left my job, but my anxiety has gotten so bad that I have taken out a personal leave from work. It’s paid – sort of. I get paid in full until my paid time runs out and then they will pay me 60% of my pay. It’s not the most ideal situation, but it’s something. I guess, if I’m going to have a complete and utter mental break, it’s good to have the support of family.

My sister-in-law just got me on with a company to do some work from home stuff. So far, it’s pretty good and it’s been getting me out of the house, on my own terms. Its been opening up my horizons and in the process, I get access to some great quality, organic, all natural products. I never really cared about being “green” or “organic” or whatever, but if it’s going to help me earn some income and stay at home – well we do what we have to do.

I know that the east side of the country has FEET of snow, that’s nuts. We got a few inches recently. Our first REAL snow finally. Miss Punky has been itching to really get her hands in the snow. Really get in there and make snow angels. Mostly, snow angels. We had a small snow and we went out about a month ago, but it didn’t stay around and it wasn’t any real accumulation to do anything with.

So yesterday, she got a great little with her cousins in the snow.

0216151103a 0216151117 0216151108a 0216151103

I always thought that I wouldn’t want to be a stay at home mom. That I just wouldn’t be cut out for it. And working was my solace. I was not a stay at home mom for a reason. Being home drove me nuts. But, I find lately, I can’t get myself to leave her side. It’s emotional. And I love that I can see all the things she’s doing. I can be involved in all her new creations. Her imagination.

Just last night we had a rousing game of Bathtub Drive Thru.

2015-02-16 21.19.40-1

So, this is a turn in my story, I didn’t expect. And I do plan to go back to work – after I can get myself back on track. But, who knows, being at home has helped me feel better, has calmed my anxiety, perhaps it’s the right move to make. Everything is up in the air, but so far, I’m enjoying the moments I have with her, the snuggles, the random kisses. And the stories, all the stories and songs she share with me.

I am enjoying not missing a thing.

2015-02-15 08.48.26

Hi My Name is Rachael, And I’m A Pinterest Mom

Yes. I have a little obsession.

It’s called the Pinterest party. I also have another obsession.

It’s called a daughter.

So, once again, it’s that time of year, where we get all sides of her family (PS, that’s huge) and put them in one room and say, “CELEBRATE OUR KID!”

I know –

So people think its weird. Some people think its over the top. Some people thought we would just go all out for her first birthday but the rest would be low-key. Some people think we spoil her. Some people think its too much.

Her MOMMY thinks its awesome.

And this is the first year that Miss Punky will be interested in actually participating.

She picked out the theme this year. Her first birthday was Dr. Seuss. Her second was Cars.

I’m sure you are dying to know what she picked. SURPRISE SURPRISE!


It does help that her Mommy is a graphic designer and a party planner in her spare time. So with all the practice I get in my Etsy Shop¬†(SHAMELESS PLUG: While on the subject, don’t forget, ladies with recent BFP, you get a 50% discount in my shop that caters to same-sex baby shower invitations! Just use the coupon code BFP50 at time of purchase)¬†making invitations, this one, was a no brainer.

Minnie AND Mickey must be equally featured in her party this year. But she prefers the pink Minnie to the red Minnie, so it’s making things very, very difficult. So, we will have a dance party (for the hotdog dance of course), a homemade Minnie Mouse pinata, and Grammy is making a Minnie and Mickey cake, and a bow making station!

I am also – if all things go according to plan, taking her to see Disney on Ice. Where she will get to see Minnie and Mickey on ice – for her actual birthday. Just Punky and Mommy. Something special for the two of us to do together. I’m quite excited about it. It will be a surprise and I plan on getting her all dressed up in her Minnie Mouse costume from Halloween or buying a new dress up Minnie Mouse dress from Walmart I saw the other day – because really, who doesn’t find this Minnie Mouse, simply irresistible?!


So last year, with her party invitation, I also slipped in an update card with an updated picture and all her favorite things. Along with height, weight, phrase of the moment, things like that.


This year, I am doing something similar – but it will be more interview style, as I will ask her questions and she will answer them. I have yet to figure out which picture from the past year I wanted to use.

So I put it to a vote on Facebook. 52 people have weighed in so far, and I’m looking for your opinions too! I can’t decide! Help me, ladies, help me pick the cutest picture to represent my darling Punky in her second year of life as she gets ready to turn THREE.


I’m still trying to wrap my head around the fact that we are already planning for birthday #3. When did this happen? It makes this mommy very sad and unhappy! I miss that sass-free baby that did nothing but cuddle, sleep, and poop. LOL.

I’m not Mommy Anymore…

Which I suppose comes with the territory of being a mom to an almost three year old. Yea, that happened. This kid will be three in March. Where the hell did the time go? She’s constantly keeping me on my toes, she’s sweet when she wants to be and a monster when she feels like it.

She’s a light in my life and my eventual heart attack waiting to happen. She’s been trying to give me a heart attack with her climbing since before she could walk.


Now she does full on performances. Usually, it starts with “Ladies and Gentlemen!” and proceeds to be some sort of dance or trick, sometimes a song or dance and if I can get video fast enough, it’s amazing.


Did you catch the “Mom!” moment. I did. I have gone from Mommy to Mom to Mom…. my. Those two little letters, the small syllable at the end is hanging on by a thread and by the time she’s three, she may be too big for Mommy. When the hell did that happen?

When did our kid get potty trained?

When did she start saying things like “Amazing” and “Ridiculous”?


When did our sweetness start shouting “No” and “I don’t love you anymore” when she gets mad?IMG_2473

When did she develop such compassion and beauty and kindness in her. (Our puppy ran away, Grammy was very sad, Miss Punky watched out the window for her the puppy til bedtime.)


When did my kiddo start ‘reading’ books to me, instead of the other way around?


I know people told me when she was born and before, when I was pregnant – to cherish the moments, don’t rush them. I took those words to heart. I took pictures. I savored the moments. I don’t think it mattered. Time went fast without me. Time rushed me. Time went and took my baby girl from helpless to helpful. From dependent to independent. From crying to singing. From climbing to … well, that hasn’t really changed.

It didn’t matter how many pictures I took. It didn’t matter how many moments we shared, how many milestones we had. She still got bigger. She still grew up. Faster than a blink of an eye. I’m in awe that our Punky is going to be three. I’m more in awe at all the things she is doing, the things she says. Its all just so amazing to me.

I just can’t believe I am planning a birthday party – again. A third birthday. Minnie and Mickey Mouse. She’s insistent. And its the one she will start interacting more with, knowing that its for her. A celebration of her. She will be three in March. Where did the time go? I just don’t know.

I do wish I could hang on to “Mommy” a little longer, though.