And these are the Days of Our Lives…..

I feel like we are constantly in some wackadoodle damn soap opera. The roller coaster of our life just never had a moment to slow down and stop. There are never any breaks along the way, it’s just UP and DOWN. UP and DOWN.

Jeez, life, throw me a damn bone.

I’m super frustrated right now because Kim and I got Punky all dressed up and paraded her around the court house in Kansas to get our application for a marriage license. Literally, just last week, this was a done deal and we found out about it on Wednesday. We were excited, we were so relieved. It wasn’t Missouri, but just the few days prior, Missouri did rule that they would recognize gay marriages performed legally in states that do allow that sort of thing.

So, why not, we said?

We only live 30 minutes away from the court house doing it and we could go up there before I went to work the very next day. So, Thursday, we got ready, we all three got up super early. This was a momentous occasion and one we called all our parents about and pumped up our Facebook friends and family with this adorable video from Punky!

It was pouring down rain when we got in the car, by the time we got on the highway, I couldn’t even really see the cars in front of us. The rain was sheets of water, buckets being dumped on our car. Kim looked at me and said, “You must really want to do this.” And if anyone knows me, I don’t drive in the best conditions, let alone these types of conditions, unless I want to get somewhere. I held it together and kept my cool.

Punky got to press the walk button on the crosswalk and go through the metal detector, all while charming the pants off anybody we passed with her ridiculously adorable pea coat and umbrella.


We finally found our way to the marriage license window and got the application; after swearing to god that our statements were all true. We got the application and they hadn’t even had time to change the pronouns on the application yet, it’s that new. So we had to cross out groom and we had to change he to she. Normally, this kind of thing might bug me, but not at that moment. I didn’t care. I just wanted to do it right.

11 years we have waited. 11 years we have been patiently watching and silently hoping that we will be married in our own state, or at least close. (Kansas is literally right around the corner from us!) ย Who cares if the forms are updated. That time will come. I just wanted it to be right.

We signed some stuff, took our application and went home to wait the three day waiting period for Kansas marriage licenses.


We were going to make a trip back there on Tuesday. We were going to get married and get our marriage license on Tuesday. The long wait for marriage (and tax benefits and rights and equality) was finally over.

Until tonight.

When we read that the Kansas State Attorney General petitioned a block on all gay marriage licenses. There will be a hearing. Sometime in November. And yes, I know – we will get married eventually. With the way the momentum of gay marriage is sweeping the country – it’s going to happen.


It won’t be Tuesday.

And we are all pretty bummed about it.


And in other news, we are going to visit my family tomorrow – so that will likely brighten my spirits a bit.

Hope everyone has a good weekend!

20 thoughts on “And these are the Days of Our Lives…..

  1. Arrrgh! I’m so very sorry! Having to wait even a day longer is absurd! And, Kansas is in the 9th circuits jurisdiction, which means this really is just a delay, add the 9th circuit has already ruled on this issue. That said, it’s so crummy that Kansas can’t just get their shit together and get in the right side of history. Hugs to you!

    • Thanks, Andie. I know it’s just a delay, but it’s really a sad blow to our heart – we were really looking forward to Tuesday and Punky has been dancing around the house singing about getting married. ๐Ÿ™‚

  2. I’m sorry. After all that work! Well you’ve put your intentions into the world. Hopefully Kansas gets its shit together. It’s still exciting though… You and Kim almost got married! So close!

  3. Oh, little Punky’s face is killing me right now! How dare they!?!?! Don’t worry, it’ll happen. Like you said, it’s a sweeping movement right now. I wish it would have been Tuesday, but you already waitied 11years right? What’s another month!

    • Yea, what’s another month. It’s just like getting our hopes up and all that anticipation building up and the having the rug pulled out from under us. Bah. It’s just a silly delay, which is why I’m so frustrated I think – it’s unnecessary and likely to be a short lived one. Why waste our times and emotions!

  4. We are in the same situation. Literally, I can WALK to the neighboring state border, where same sex marriage is now allowed, in about 5 minutes. But for now it is not allowed in our state and we decided a while back that we were not going to do it until we would be completely recognized by the state we live in. Waiting….STILL WAITING. Yes, it will come. But, dammit it hard to know it is THAT CLOSE and we can’t enjoy the liberties.

    • It’s so frustrating! It’s a pain in the ass for sure! We made the same decision, not to get married until it was legal in our own state. Missouri has ruled to recognize marriages done legally in other states. Unfortunately, Kansas didn’t get with the program!

  5. The only bright spot here is that FREAKING ADORABLE picture of Punky making the sad face. Otherwise, this sucks! I mean, yeah, it’s just a delay, but you’ve spent eleven years knowing that you couldn’t get married. It takes a lot of emotional strength and also protectiveness to live in a world where your loving relationship isn’t considered valid and others are. And thenโ€ฆ you can finally make yourself vulnerable and do this very important thing, and Kansas steps on you. Of course it will happen, but you put yourself out on the ledge and took on big emotional risk, and it was quashed (I know I know, just for now). When it happens, AWESOME. Right now, I’M SORRY. And THAT SUCKS.

  6. WAIT A MINUTE…..You live in KS, in a county that recently was handing out same-sex marriage apps….I think we are NEIGHBORS. As in, could do playdates with our batman obsessed kids. You need to email me, and/or look me up on facebook. I LOVE small worlds.
    Jen (mom to Irish Stout)
    jlartgirl AT is my personal email address

    • LOL, we actually live about 35 minutes from the county recently handing out marriage licenses. But, we are in Missouri, on the other side of the Kansas City line. But yes, we really should hang out sometime!! ๐Ÿ˜›

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