Musings from the Night Shift Mommy

I started my night shift – 1pm to midnight – and I will blame that on why I haven’t gotten around to blogging lately. Though, if I’m being honest, I would say it may be that I really just forgot.

I am currently helping plan three parties that are going on at the end of August and in September. So much going on in that capacity! Not to mention orders from my Etsy Shop and changing my shift at my day job, I’ve been uber busy.

So quick Etsy shop plug, all my blogger friends in the sphere, I know you guys are having babies, getting BFP and the like, I want to extend my offer to give you half off on ALL invitations and/or party supplies for baby showers, pregnancy announcements, gender reveals, etc. Absolutely no end date on that offer.  Pass it on to friends and families, I don’t mind! 🙂

Just use: BFP50 in the coupon code section and it will ring it up for ya!

I’m just so happy for all of you and I want to help you celebrate!! (This includes custom orders, so if you got a special theme in mind that I don’t currently stock, hit me up and I will totally make it for ya!)

And back to real life stuff:

I have been trying to keep up with our two year old, she has a half birthday in September, what?! Half way to three? When the hell did that happen!!

I’m also not really sure when she got sass in her pants, but this kid is one mouthful of sassy phrases and some not too nice to her moms! Its been kind of a pain in the booty, frankly, and she’s had a few run-ins with timeout or a smack in the mouth.

She’s also extra cuddly when she wants to be and is singing and talking up a storm. She’s hilarious, a joy to be around on most occasions and still the apple of our eye. She is still the most perfect little being in the whole world and I really do love her to the moon and back!

But parenting a toddler, a two year toddler, has proven to be a bit difficult. She’s so damn sensitive. She cries at the drop of a hat, she’s offended extra easily and overall, if she doesn’t get her way, look out! They aren’t kidding when they say twos are tough, but then I hear all the time “threes are worse”. Thanks for that encouragement asshole! LOL.

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So, with me working nights, and 10 hours at that, I work 4 days a week, 3 days I’m off, rotating 1 weekend a month. So, I’m home on Wednesday, Saturday and Sundays regularly now. Its been refreshing to be home in the middle of the week. Punky and I have had time to go out and hang together. That’s what I have been doing the most lately.

Here’s what Miss Sassafrass Punky and I have been doing to keep ourselves busy this part of the summer.

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Last week, we headed to the park. Our park has this ridiculously huge rope pyramid that older kids can climb on – to the top – several feet in the air. There is a small piece of it that has a rope ladder to a smaller slide, Punky took a liking to that.

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We moved onto the swings, where she just refuses to actually sit on. She prefers to “fly” – she prefers to push me in the swing. Yikes indeed. We had a run in with a little guy at the park while she was playing with the swing.

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You see that empty swing over there right? The one no one is playing with? Yea, we had a kid approach Punky while she was contemplating her next great fly in the swing and take hold of the chains of her swing and promptly tell her “I’m going to swing now.”

Flabbergasted, I looked around for the child’s guardian. He wasn’t more than say 5 or so. When no guardian emerged I said, “There’s another swing right there if you would like to swing.”

“But I will swing on this one.” He told me matter of factly.

And this is when I really just lost all hope for the future generations. I just knew this is what justified the older generation talking about how our kids nowadays have no manners and don’t know how to respect people and other things.

I replied very quietly, very gently, “No, sir. You will not. There is a swing over there if you would like to use it.”

By this time, Miss Punky relinquished her swing without a fight and headed to the vacant swing. I was astonished, however, when it comes to sharing – for an only child with a lot of sass – she’s pretty laid back about giving up the toys that are taken from her (unless its her very special babies at home, which I hide when we have little visitors so there are no fights, she might draw blood over them!)  I don’t have any concern for her manners, she’s a please and thank you kid for the most part, may have to be reminded, but she covers her mouth with she coughs (albeit sometimes later than the cough), and for the most part can say Excuse me when she burps or farts without prompting.

I took the swing chain gently and said, “No no, Punky. This is your swing. You were using it. Please come back and play with the swing you were on.”

I’m all for sharing. But, the way we share – we don’t take toys from another child. It doesn’t matter whose toy it is (hence why I hide her special babies) if another kid has it, she is not to take it from them and can’t claim it as hers to play with until they are done with it. When the toy is discarded or put down, she can then play with it. Same goes for my kid, people. When she’s playing with something, your child will not take it from her until she’s done. When she has discarded it, I don’t care if its your kid’s toy or not, I don’t tolerate taking toys from each other. Its disrespectful and it teaches kids they can have whatever they want, whenever they want. It shows instant gratification and teaches kids that they don’t have to be patient. That they can take whatever they want and there will be no real consequences.

I absolutely loved the article I read about it, because it made me feel great about my own sharing philosophies and I was so glad to know I wasn’t the only mom who taught my kid this way.

Needless to say, the young man relinquished the swing back to Punky, who went back to “flying to the moon, Mommy” until she was hungry for lunch. I’m glad the other child’s guardian was not around, because if they had reprimanded me or said something, I’m not really sure what would happen, but it would have been very sad to get banned from the best park in the city………

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After a great afternoon at the park, we headed to McDonald’s where she had a nice chicken nugget happy meal and strawberry yogurt.

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And for some reason, when we ordered a small snack version of an M&M McFlurry with two spoons, the cashier just thought it was adorable, as did all the passersby our table who noticed! LOL

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And this afternoon, Miss Punky became the proud owner of her very own library card. She was so very proud of the library card that I thought perhaps she needed a purse to put it in.

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However, before we could go purse shopping, we had to try out our shiny new library card and get some books. This week we picked out Dora and the Twin Puppies and How to Babysit A Grandpa.

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I haven’t read the Dora book and we only got it because she insisted on having Dora. However, the other, How to Babysit A Grandpa, is the cutest thing ever. Its even cuter when Papa reads it to her as her bedstory. (Not bedtime story, people, its a BedStory.) Which is what happened before she fell asleep tonight. Oh, the convenience of having Papas and Grammy’s on hand when a good BedStory  and rocking is needed.

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Anyway, after the library, we went on the great purse hunt. We stopped at Dollar General first, I was just sure they should have a cute, small kid’s purse for her that would be perfect for her library card. What we ended up with instead was a packages of lipgloss for little girls and package of Minnie Mouse socks.

On to the consignment store down the strip mall, which I immediately regretted the minute we walked into. We should have went into the thrift store next door like I thought about. Instead I took her into the consignment store. She found a purse, it was a bit more than I really wanted to spend, but really only like $7, but the purse was not the highlight of her trip.

Oh no, see, this wasn’t a kid’s consignment, there was not clothes for toddlers in there. It was for adults as in the clothing were not small enough for her to ever fit in. But sparklies know no age. It doesn’t matter how old you are. Jewelry doesn’t discriminate. My little one made sure I knew that as soon as she found the glass case of glitters and this awesome table of trinkets for her to touch and hold and oh and ah!

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She went home with a purse, lip gloss, her library card, and three new bracelets. Her purse also has Mommy’s old cell phone since I just got a new one and its not active. She’s  one stylish – and probably spoiled to the core – little two year old. But we had an excellent day out together!

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When we got home, she started to get a little cranky and I knew it was promptly nap time. Of course, she fought it, but eventually, now we have peace, after naptime, dinner, and a bedstory with complimentary rocking from both Grammy and Mommy, she’s had a very busy day and is now sleeping sound in her bed!

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I know this post is getting extra long, however, I would be amiss, if I didn’t also feature the great pictures that were taken of my Punky monster recently. We got her pictures done, mostly for fun, but it was a blast and she looks so much older in these pictures!

 IMG_8226IMG_8218IMG_8243These were taken by a local photographer E. Carlburg Photography to showcase the clothes made by Amelia Bean Clothing, another local business in the area. The outfit is not one I would have chosen for her, in most cases, we don’t really do ‘ruffles’ and things. But, I must say, she makes this outfit look great and she looks gorgeous in this shoot!

The second photoshoot was from an old high school alum. I helped design her photography business’ logo and she repaid me with a great many pictures. Andrea from Morrow Classic Photography did such an awesome job, there are too many favorites for me to choose just a few. So here they are!!

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So, that’s what we have been up to, I shouldn’t wait to update this blog for so long! Otherwise I ramble a ton!! To those of you who just got BFP, again, congratulations! And of course, those of you who are still waiting, I’m cheering for you to have days and brilliant times like these someday soon!

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18 thoughts on “Musings from the Night Shift Mommy

  1. How adorable with that purse!!! I can’t take it! And that article is awesome! At the child care center that I worked at, that was sort of an unsaid policy for us as well. It teaches kids patience more than anything, and also, one thing they didn’t mention, is to appreciate the time that they have after having waited for so long. To really enjoy what they are doing and be aware of the time spent. It’s a great share…

    • I know right! That purse is ADORABLE. And she’s been showing it off to everyone who walks in the house LOL. The sharing thing is a real pet peeve of mine. For everyone’s children, mine included. It just makes sense! LOL

      • I think sexism starts really early, where boys feel that they are superior to girls, so I’m glad that you taught that little boy a lesson too. Like- do you think he would have wanted that swing if it was a boy P’s age playing with it?

      • I’m not even sure about that! I mean really, that’s an excellent question. I would have thought having her parent or an adult there would have deterred the thought from becoming action though. It didn’t. That’s what’s wrong with this generation of kids.

  2. The dress! I love it. We have the exact same philosophy on sharing in our house. And it has taught the boys so much. But we often get strange looks from other parents. When the boys make a decision to share on their own we make a really big deal about it and they are so proud of themselves. And we have also had issues with unsupervised children in our neighborhood. I swear most nights I’m alone in my driveway with nine children. We struggle with disciplining other children because the last thing we want aimed at our “two mom” family is angry neighbors. But I finally decided that the kids need some sort of guidance. So far I have resorted to “if you do it again I am walking you home”. But it’s tough. I guess my rambling is to say, “Good Job!”

    • I love the dress too! It was quite the fluke really! As for sharing, I’m so glad to hear others have the same ideas that I have. I really feel like a well mannered kid is hard to come by nowadays and my kid will not be in that category. I can totally get the whole “two mom” family dynamic – angry neighbors and all. But they should probably just supervise their own kids! LOL. Good luck with that!

  3. There is lots to respond to here (including the pictures–some lovely work here–and of course the obligatory yay library cards comment) but I feel most compelled to comment about the sharing thing. First of all, thanks for reminding me that Heather Shumaker’s It’s Okay Not to Share (and Other Renegade Rules for Raising Competent and Compassionate Kids) has been on my To Read list for, oh, practically forever (well, at least since I heard of its existence). I suspect you would like it as well.

    I am with you (and the author of the essay you linked to) on children not being entitled to something just because they want it. Thankfully my wife agrees and, perhaps just as thankfully, the other parents in our community are of a similar mindset. I think my child would be very confused if another parent (read: grown up) insisted that she should share something as per the situation described by another commenter above.

    In practice, though, it ends up being more complicated. Lots of discussion of turn-taking and encouraging her to say things like “it’s still my turn” or to offer an alternative when she declines to share. I often tell her she doesn’t HAVE to share, but that it would be kind to do so. Not nice, let me emphasize, but kind. (There’s icky subtext to raising a “nice girl” so we focus on kindness, which I think applies more broadly across genders.) And if she has been monopolizing a public resource to which there is no alternative, I do have her relinquish it after a set time (having that “one more minute” or “three more pushes” to count down helps).

    That said, we do as you do in having her put her precious belongings away if she is going to play with friends (this should have been done with Fuzzy in Llama Llama Time To Share!). We also remind her that when she takes her things to a public space or even a friend’s house, other kids might want to play with them and that’s okay–that’s part of the deal with bringing them along, especially if she wants to use the other kids’ toys. So tough to strike that balance of reciprocity without it turning into bean-counting and tit-for-tat. Plus it’s started to result in claims of it suddenly still being her turn to use something she has been ignoring simply because someone else wants it. A new development on the sharing/turn-taking front! Just when you think you’ve got it figured out…

    • Oh man, that’s all so very complex! I am so looking forward to all of that! LOL. I need to get that Llama Llama book. We have the bedtime one and I am going to get the Mad at Mama one. We just don’t get enough good books lately! Oh! And the nice girl thing – hey, that’s a really good point, we do ask Punky to be ‘nice girl’ and to do ‘nice things’ – oh man, I never thought about it! We are trying to stay away from good girl/bad girl stuff. Oi. The stuff we have to think about as parents, huh!

      Yea, I didn’t even get to the time limits and the taking turns and stuff. We have slowly started bringing that into the picture, especially like the slide at the park. She will literally sit at the top of it for hours if I let her! Usually, its fine, but if another kid comes up, I tell her “Punky, you gotta slide, its this little kid’s turn.” and she usually gets it. The concept is bound to get more sticky and grey as all things are right!

      • It’s really tough when you can’t rely on empathy to help them rationalize this stuff!

        I should, however, note that we haven’t banished ‘nice’ from the vocabulary. I do say things like “what a nice thing to do!” or “that must have felt really nice.” But just as often I’ll try to use words like ‘kind’ and ‘generous’ and ‘compassionate’ which I feel are more concrete.

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