Two days ago, we learned that someone in California had gotten a hold of our debit card number and charged upwards to $300 without a card. We had both cards. I was both angry and defeated all at the same time. It was like I had never felt before. I felt so violated, I still feel violated. We are currently without money because the bank will take up to 10 days before they will dispute the charges, the pending transactions have to post. It’s such an awful feeling to be unable to use my money!
K has been seeing a therapist for over a year and I have been going with her for some time. We decided after the incident at work, that it might be best for me to see my own therapist. I was starting to get that irritability back that I had before and I was starting to lash out and it wasn’t really a great feeling.
I certainly don’t want to teach Punky to express herself in the way that I have been known to express myself. I also know that at one time, I was a bully, I don’t want her to inherit those traits either. I also know that I don’t want her to feel the way I felt growing up, so in the end, I am working on making myself mentally better – so I can make sure that I am able to better prepare her to be emotionally stable and well adjusted.
In the end – I have recently been diagnosed with PTSD, for those who don’t know, that’s Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Stemming from, but not exclusive from my childhood and my teenage years. I never really thought of myself as ‘traumatized’ but I can see how some of the experiences in my life have caused me to be more damaged as an adult than I cared to admit.
With that said, we have started me on a routine weekly visit to the therapist to work on the issues from my past, because frankly, it needs to be sorted out and medication doesn’t really cure or have a way of assisting in PTSD.
Anyway, I’m still me, and I’m still the person I have always been, I’m just learning about how I tick and what makes me think and do the things I do. Why I react the way I do and to the things I do. It’s been very enlightening and I think it will help make me a better person, a better partner, a better mother, sister, daughter, and co-worker for that matter.
It’s almost that time of year, Christmas is coming. Now, look, I know Thanksgiving hasn’t even come and gone, but I never fully understood why we needed a whole day to celebrate what we were thankful for, when really, shouldn’t we be thankful and express how thankful we are every day? Anyway, I work that day and I am more interested in getting the tree up and enjoying the holidays with Punky when she can actually interact with us and help and enjoy it too!
I am also set for sending my Santa Letters to the kids. I sure do love this time of year and it really is my most favorite thing to do. I have been sending letters from Santa to kids since I was a teenager when I sent them to my brothers and sisters. Now, I have nearly 80 kids on the list for this year and it just makes me so happy to do it!
I always say it is probably more exciting for me to send them than for the kids to receive them. Anyway, I wanted to extend the offer to all my blogging friends – if you would like a letter from Santa sent to your kiddos, send me an email at rachael (dot) leann (at) gmail (dot) com. Send me names, ages, and addresses! The more the merrier, truly, I am even sending four letters to kids not yet born, still warm in the belly!
Hope everyone has great plans for the weekend and the Thanksgiving holiday, I have been keeping up with everyone, and it looks like a few babies are due soon, can’t wait to meet them!