Love is Love … Even 10 Years Later

I know I spend time talking about how marriage equality would do wonders for my family. How it negatively impacts my family and my daughter that my partner and I aren’t married.  Also, previously, I talked about how my work’s insurance would be changing and going to an IRS governed type plan. That it would affect my health insurance for K and how we would get her to her doctor’s appointments and pay for her myriad of prescriptions. It’s been a worry that’s been on my shoulders for quite some time. Because, K isn’t my ‘tax dependant’ because we can’t get married, she doesn’t qualify for my insurance.

It’s been tough, trying to figure out what we will do.

Then this happened:

All Legal Same-Sex Marriages Will Be Recognized for Federal Tax Purposes

I sent the article straight to my HR department and work and asked if she could please research how this will effect our new healthcare next year. I am very anxious to hear back. From what I am reading, and I could be very wrong, I’m tentatively hopeful, it could make K my tax dependant, which means she will qualify for my insurance!

I really hope that’s what it means.

What does that mean for K and I?

It means, 10  years into this relationship and 1 baby girl later, we are going to make a drive to Iowa and get married … legally! We are taking the next step to make it official. I always said i didn’t want to get married more than once, and I meant it. I wasn’t interested in having a “commitment ceremony”  when it didn’t mean anything other than our love and commitment to each other. We already  have that.

What we need is a legal marriage. It really does make a difference. People just don’t understand if they aren’t affected by it. I am over the moon by the way. I am excited to be ‘wife’ and not girlfriend, partner, blah blah. At this point, I’m not really as interested in the ceremony part as the legal part. I really hope my work is going to be able to recognize for healthcare, because that’s really the most important part of this!

I don’t have much to talk about other than this. We are making plans to get married and that’s a big deal. Once we have the paper to make it legal, we can have the ceremony that everyone gets. Punky will look adorable in a flower girl tutu!!

In the end, this little girl is going to have legally married parents.


17 thoughts on “Love is Love … Even 10 Years Later

    • Thanks, Sabio! It’s true, the state is still not going to recognize our marriage, we live in Missouri. But on a federal level, we will be recognized and that’s where it counts. 🙂

  1. We are doing things a bit backwards. We have had our domestic partnership for nearly three years. We simply do not have time to get to the closest legal state (Iowa) before our November wedding, but we do want to do so! We’re a bit backward and we’re ok with that!

    • Hey, whatever works, right! I didn’t even want to plan a ceremony without the legal backing to be around the corner somewhere. I know there are some that think the ceremony is all that matters, but to me, the ceremony has been in our hearts for the last 10 years. I just need the legal rights that go with our very committed relationship. I can’t wait to read about your wedding, CJ!

    • I know, right, practical is definitely the answer here! I mean, after 10 years, we aren’t exactly in the romantical stage anymore 😉 Thanks, Evelyn, your words are too kind!

  2. Congratulations! Kara and I are in the exact same boat and we plan to head to New York as soon as we can work out the details. It is crazy. I still hope our state gets on board at some point though but with the recent strike down of DOMA and new IRS rules we simply can no longer sit back and wait for Ohio to change its laws. It’s crazy to think I am going to be a married woman soon!! Best of luck to you both. I can’t wait to follow along on your journey.

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