A Day In The Life of Punky – 15 months old

So the last time I did one of these posts was nearly 9 months ago on Punky’s half birthday. So much has changed in that time! Get ready for a photo intense post.

Please excuse the mess of my living room. This kid literally drags out all her toys and makes sure there is no shortage of fishes, crackers, and cookie crumbs on our floor.

I put time stamps on these pictures, but just know that sometimes she’s not literally doing the current picture to the next one. Sometimes I got distracted and she moves faster than I can really capture in real time.

These are pretty much unedited as far as pictures go. And some may be blurry – blame it on the very fast movements of my toddler and the slowness of my camera to keep up!

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10:26 AM – I had been up enjoying a little Facebook since 8AM but then a heard a squeak from Punky’s room. I opened the door to this, dancing and adorable little one.

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10:27AM – We laid on the spare bed in her bedroom and changed her diaper. At the time, that diaper did in fact make her butt look big.

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10:31AM – After getting a nice clean booty, we headed into the living room (AKA Punky’s playroom) to get some breakfast in the form of a cereal bar and a sippy of milk.

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10:50 AM – Mommy gets some breakfast too and sits down to check on Facebook stuff. Punky takes the time to eat her cereal bar and watch a little Kai Lan on Nick Jr.

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11:18 AM – Mommy had to go to the bathroom which means Punky must accompany her! Look, her very own potty to sit on.

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I had to share this picture too, she’s so happy to be sitting on her potty and she started laughing and clapping. Oh, the fun we have in the bathroom …..

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11:25 AM – Mommy thought she might get in a little Sims 3 time while the toddler played with her toys. She’s so independent when it comes to playing. She had to come show me her sunglasses though! She can now put them on all by herself.

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When I told her they were on upside down, she basically looked at me like I was the weirdo.

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11:29 AM – Punky moved on from sunglasses to playing with her activity cube that her aunt and uncle got her for her birthday. It may be on it’s side, but she loves it.

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11:43AM – Of course, in the world of toddlers, one activity doesn’t last very long. Soon enough she has moved from activity cube to riding her horse through the land of the Fresh Beat Band.

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12:07 PM – I turn around from my Sims 3 and find that Punky thinks this blue ring might make an excellent ankle bracelet. She does try so very hard to shove it around her foot. Without much success, but lots of laughs from Mommy.

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12:18 PM – She moves quickly to her flash cards. I’m surprised that most of them are still in tact. Some of them are not, but most of them are still in tact and she loves looking at them.

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12:41 PM – Taking a sip of Mommy’s Cola before naptime. I don’t actually think she got any, but she did want a sip, there wasn’t much left, so I let her get a sip. I’m pretty sure she thinks this is the coolest thing ever, to get to drink out of a can.

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12:43 PM – I muttered the word Nap and she let that non-existant Cola fuel her flight from me! She took off and headed up the couch in her escape. Little did she know that I was faster and there isn’t really any way out from UP.

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1:02 PM – A quick run around the living room and a diaper change later, we refueled her sippy cup and headed off to her bedroom for a nap. She laid there and was not at all thrilled, see how she threw her baby off to the side. I knew she was going to fight the nap.

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1:51 PM – She sensed her Mama woke up around 1:30 PM and thought it would be a brilliant idea to squeal until she came and got her out of bed. Mommy was not agreeable to this, and by the look on Punky’s face, she knows who won!

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1:55 PM – Upon being told that she should really still be napping and shouldn’t be up yet, she decided to charm Mommy with a nice little game of Peek-A-Boo around the laptop!

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1:55 PM – After she knew she had engaged me in a nice game – she gave me a cute cheeky smile and I knew she was definitely staying up until she felt like going to sleep.

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2:17 PM – Once she got Mommy’s go ahead to stay awake, we played “Capture the Kid On Camera” for a good 10 minutes, this was the best shot I got.

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2:18 PM – Once she took the sunglasses off, she decided to inspect one of the holes in my laptop. Just some hole for her to stick her finger in.

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She also took that same finger and wanted to make sure I knew where her “Eye” is. She is so cute when she says it and then pokes herself right in the eye.

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2:27 PM – Punky took it upon herself to sit in the middle of all her toys and play with the big spinning toy that makes animal noises. She could be heard saying “Bzzz” and “Oo, Oo”

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2:52 PM – Punky and Mama attempted to reach Grammy and Papa via Skype. They just live across town, but we thought maybe a little phone call on the computer was in order. Sometimes, I wish my mom had internet so we could Skype, she lives much farther away.

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2:57 PM – Punky finds it hilarious to see Grammy and Papa in the computer. Got ahold of Grammy and played peek-a-boo, we blew some kisses, and sang some songs with her and Papa.

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3:38 PM – HIt her head on something and went to her Mama and sippy for comfort before going back and doing it again.

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3:37 PM – Still going strong without a nap. A good “Jack and the Neverland Pirate” episode that made both baby and Mommy sing and dance along with the kid pirates.

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3:46 PM – Talented little one is going to ride her rocking horse backwards. I am just waiting for a toddler to fall into a gate and go boom!

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Shortly after being unsuccessful at riding her rocking horse backwards, Punky thought she might like to hang out with Mommy on the couch. That required her to climb. Her most favorite thing to do.

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3:47 PM – She tried a few different tactics to get up on the couch, including this interesting little roll to get up on the couch.

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3:51 PM – Punky made it up there, but it wasn’t to hang out with Mommy. She just wanted to hang out on the recliner of my couch seat. But, just having her close was good enough for Mommy.

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4:47 PM – Around 4 ish, Mommy and baby got in our swimsuits and took a little dip in the pool. She was not thrilled to come back inside, but I got to snap a little picture before we changed her out of her wet suit.

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4:40 PM – When we got back in the bedroom to change her out of her clothes, she was very much ready to get out of them, rolling around in the towel.

5:09 PM – Instead of being backwards, she will just watch her Disney Jr. backwards on her rocking horse.

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5:37 PM – Since today was a no naptime day, I am starting to see the first inklings of sleepy Punky! She is rubbing her eyes and getting all cranky!

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5:38 PM – She thought she might just rest her head on the recliner of the couch for just a moment .. I thought maybe she might fall asleep. Not my kid – she never really sleeps anywhere but her bed!

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5:39 PM – Instead, she chose to do something like baby yoga on the couch recliner. I am not really sure what she’s doing to be honest. …

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5:40 PM – Oh, nope, she just thought she might rest her head a minute before standing up and dancing on the recliner of the couch. She is determined to fall and bust her head open, definitely trying to give Mommy a heart attack.

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6:12 PM – I stopped taking pictures for a moment and when I looked up, there she was – hanging out on the toybox. Like she doesn’t have enough toys on the floor, now she wants to play with the blocks on the top.

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6:22 PM – Punky got scooped up by her Mama and they played in the spinning office chair for a bit. Up and down, back and forth. She was a giggly little one by the end of this session. This is the clearest picture I got.

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6:26 PM – The next three pictures are really all the same time frame. Our child decided it might be fun to roll around on the couch. She moved from this position …

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To this one .. I’m not sure what she’s looking at on the ceiling. From here ….

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She moved to this one for half a second. This kid is always on the move. It didn’t really last long on the couch, but it was fun to watch her flip around and roll from one position to the next.

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6:38 PM – She found one of her very old binkies in her toybox where she likely threw it .. or hid it .. for future days – like now. She never really took a binky, so it’s always surprising to me when she sticks it in her mouth. Of course, she had in in backwards before this shot.

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6:51 PM – Mama made a delicious Italian Spaghetti dish. This munchkin chowed down on the noodles. We thought about using utensils, but when I put them in her hands, she looks at me like I’m dumb and tends to fling food onto our carpet.

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6:55 PM – We took her shirt off for this dinner, there was no need for her white shirt getting all ruined. It’s not like we have a washing machine in our apartment!

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7:35PM – After dinner we took the rocking horse for a ride. Sitting on it properly.

Around 7:40 PM when she was done eating, my camera decided it needed to be charged! For real?!

Charged up the camera and then it was time for the bedtime routine to commence.

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8:09 PM – Let’s play a little peek-a-boo before the bedtime diaper change. She gets so darn squirrely towards the end of her day. This is pretty darn good for no nap!

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8:11 PM – After diaper change and all is good, she goes straight for Mama for playtime and reading. This is how we start our bedtime routine, since she just learned how to climb up onto the bed all by herself!

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8:11 PM – This is her “I’m gonna get my Mama” face. She thinks she’s sneaky, but we can all see that Mama is watching her closely. She’s all knees and elbows flying everywhere right now!

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8:12 PM – She settles in for a nice book and a tug on Horton’s nose. She loves this book. It makes her giggle when I tickle her face with the nose.

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8:13 PM – We asked her where Horton’s eyes were, she likes to poke him, pretty violently with those little fingers and giggle. I am not sure if I should be concerned yet.

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8:14 PM – We moved on to her newspaper. This is a great little toy that I found at a local book store. She can learn all the animals and sounds. So far she can point out the horse and the cow. She can also tell me where her shirt and her pants are from playing with this newspaper. And, she learned how to say “Ball” from this little gem.

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8:16 PM – Mommy thought her hair was too long for this little friend – but that stray hair just made an appearance tonight and decided to hang out with us for bedtime.

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8:24 PM – After much reading of the newspaper and jumping on the bed, it was time to start tickles and wrestling with Mama. This is pretty much one of her favorite things to do. AND if she was still full of energy, after her Mama gets done with her, she is exhausted.

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8:25 PM – No bedtime playtime could be complete without Punky being turned upside down and tickled at least three times.

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8:27 PM – I asked her where her tongue is and she chose to show me her Mama’s tongue instead. I’m sure by now, this kid was tired of seeing Mommy’s camera in her face.

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8:30 PM – We also must have jumping on the bed at some point in the bedtime playtime routine. Of course, right now, her jumping looks more like running in place. But, it’s ever so adorable!

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8:36 PM – A little past her normal bedtime, we generally wind down around 8:25, but tonight we played a little longer. It looks like we are torturing her, but really, we are just brushing the teeth! She tends to run away when Mama doesn’t hold her for this piece of bedtime routine.

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8:37 PM – Once Mommy washes off the toothbrush and grabs her bedtime drink, it’s time for the light ceremony. Turn off the Mommies’ bedroom light. And give Mommy and Mama a bedtime kiss!

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8:38 PM – Turn off her own bedroom light and head to bed with sippy in hand.

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8:39 PM – Get covered up and Mommy makes sure she has her baby. This shot was in complete darkness with flash. I had no idea what I was going to get. Good night, Punky. It was quite the eventful day.

I’d love to see a day in the life of your child? What do you do with your kid on a weekend! This is my day off and this is how I spend it – observing my little one and entertaining her when she needs it, which is usually not very often. I swear she never really wants to play with me!

So, who’s next?

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The Right Side of History and God’s Thoughts?

The Supreme Court ruled on our family’s civil rights today. It didn’t really affect my family in the way I would hope it would – but it is a step in the right direction. The Supreme Court ruled to strike down DOMA (Defense Against Marriage Act) which federally defined marriage between a man and a woman. This means that any state that has legally married same-sex couples are now protected under federal law as a married couple and entitled to the same benefits and rights as those taxpayers in a heterosexual marriage.

This is big news!

Now, we live in Missouri. Missouri and our neighboring state Kansas currently have bans in the state constitution on same-sex marriage. Which means that our states do not recognize a marriage between same-sex couples, regardless of whether they get married in a state that grants same-sex marriage or not. I’ve yet to figure out, because I am currently writing this draft at work on my lunch break, what this means for my family in general.

I know striking down DOMA means that all states that currently have legalized gay marriage couples, will be afforded the same rights to the federal level. So, basically, those people married in those legal states are protected under federal law and now get their rights restored.

What does that do for those of us who do not currently live in a state that recognizes gay marriage? I am going to assume, it means nothing for us in the immediate future. We will simply go about our lives, unmarried and discriminated against until such a time as all states in the United States of America smarten up and decide to be on the right side of history. Perhaps sometime in the future, all the states and the people who populate it decide to treat all their taxpaying, law-abiding citizens and neighbors with the same rights and equality under the law.

Then I think of the post from one of my very favorite bloggers, Deborah for Kids Without Religion and the link she provided to the North Carolina Values Coalition. I found a lot of things interesting as to what is happening to the religious community in regards to their opinion of my family’s lack of civil rights and the outcome of this decision by the Supreme Court.

I hear all the time by the Conservative Right that in order to be a ‘true’ American you must trust in your government’s laws. You must abide by the law and you must be a patriot to our great country. This usually means following “Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ” and believing in the almighty “God” In order to be a true American, you must have these fundamental things down and in your very core.

So, two days ago, before the decision of the Supreme Court came down, I went to the website’s Facebook page, because of course, I was interested and intrigued. Low and behold, I was also looking to be pissed off for the rest of the night.

I found this woman’s wonderful prayer to her Lord and Savior. I am sure it is similar to other people who are her like-minded peers in this debate.

I’m have blacked out her name and picture because I do have respect for her beliefs, however, if you were to go to the public Facebook page, you will see her prayer in this exact entirety. She is proud of her beliefs, I am sure, so I am sure she will be thrilled to have the exposure of said prayer for my blog readers to see!

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If you can’t read this, here’s the transcript of the prayer.

Prayer for the Supreme Court and the Nation
Heavenly Father, we praise You for Your unchanging truth, holiness, righteousness, mercy and grace. You have given us a nation founded upon the principles of Your word. You have blessed us, but we have squandered Your grace and turned away from Your principles. So we come to You to plead for our nation.

Specifically, we pray for the pending Supreme Court decision on same sex marriage. We pray that next week the Court would not impose a false definition of marriage on our nation. Father, we confess that we in the Church have already sinned against You and have not been good stewards of the gift of marriage through our own issues with unfaithfulness, selfishness, pornography, homosexuality and divorce. Forgive us, Lord. Now our nation is following our imperfect example and seeks to redefine and corrupt the gift of marriage in order to satisfy its own lusts.

We acknowledge that through Jesus Christ we can repent and turn to You. So help the people of this nation to turn to You with repentant hearts, that we all may be covered in Your grace. Lord, have mercy on us. Lord, let Your purity and truth shine in this situation. Help us to proclaim to those enslaved by homosexuality, and any other sin, that liberty and identity is available in Jesus Christ. Help us to lovingly embrace the repentant.

Fill us with Your Spirit so that our thoughts, words and actions reflect Your love and not our judgment. Help us to trust in Your plan, and to act justly throughout it. We ask this in the name of Jesus Christ, Your Son and our Savior. Amen.”

So, when the decision from the Supreme Court came down, I thought about this prayer in particular. I thought of this woman and those in her same like-minded beliefs giving the future of my family, the fate of my daughter’s reality up to her god’s will.

Ok, well, and we all know that god’s will is righteous and correct. God’s will doesn’t make mistakes. We all know that if we are true Christian believers and believe in the word of the Lord, we must follow and trust in God’s will.

And realistically, this is what this woman has done. She has prayed for God’s will to stir the hearts and minds of the Supreme Court and the decision they were making about the fate of my family.

Now that the decision has come down on the opposite way in which this woman and her peers have been praying so fervently for, what does that mean for them? If God exists and we must trust in God’s will, then … I think …

God has made a very clear and direct point to his followers.

He has not answered your prayers.

What does that say to you? To me, that says, that God’s will is clear, if he is real and listens to your prayers. He denied your prayers. Your prayers were not answered?

Can we speculate as to why?

I can. I can speculate that this God of yours has made it very clear that your discrimination against your fellow human beings AND your hiding behind his name and word to justify it, is not acceptable. He has denied your prayers because God’s will is not the same as you have been persecuting your homosexual brothers and sisters in the Lord over.

Not only have you now used your God’s name to condemn an entire group of people, but you have also decided to discriminate and with hateful laws persecute those people. My family, in the name of God.

Well, it looks to me that God is telling you that you are wrong and you cannot have what you want. Looks to me that God is saying, everyone should be treated equally and instead of answering your prayers, he has chosen to go the opposite way and make his wishes very clear.

Of course, what do I know. I haven’t been to church in awhile. I personally believe the church does nothing but drive fear and brainwash children into believing things that may or may not be true, but we can’t prove any of is.

I guess, my question to this woman in light of her prayers not being answered is this:

Do you trust in God’s answer to your prayer? Do you trust in his will that you requested when you prayed to him? Or do you find some reason to believe this is not God’s answer and must be something else? Basically, will you be a hypocrite?

If so, I’m not surprised.

In the end, I don’t care what God thinks, because in the end I don’t think God played a part in this decision. I think common sense and good morals and good hearts had everything to do with this decision. End of story.

So, congratulations to all the ladies and gentlemen out there who are legally married in their states who will be now federally recognized! Congratulations to you all! I hope that when this very long journey is over, my family will be celebrating just as hard as you are currently!

I’m the Boring Lesbian Mom

Well, I opened this to write something and yet nothing came to me. Darnit.

I suppose I will simply say we are good and boring. Pretty much same as always!

I leave you with a few pictures. Cause my kid is so damn adorable!

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Yes, she’s eating McDonald’s. We went to park to play with her bestie, Cheeks! Punky and Cheeks had a blast tonight. The weather wasn’t too warm and it was kinda breezy. I am just glad I didn’t go home with sweat in places that sweat should never be!

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Take care all!

My Kid Has Two Moms. We Still Celebrate Father’s Day.

So, in a house with two moms, Father’s Day isn’t really celebrated the traditional way. Yes, K and and I have dads and we celebrate them, along with both our stepdads. But, I have made it my mission to make sure that Punky also gets to celebrate this day. I don’t ever want her to feel out of place because she can’t celebrate this day too.

So, we have implemented Papa/Uncle Day.

Punky has several Papas and even more Uncles and she has one very awesome Godfather. So, we have decided to make sure that all of them know how much we appreciate them in Punky’s life. I decided we needed to do something extra special this year, so this crafty Mommy got to work and started making SHIRTS.

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The six bags are for the six men she got to see today. My family lives three hours away, so we didn’t get to see them, but those shirts will be delivered later this month when we go to visit. So my dad, stepdad, and brother should be looking forward to their very own “saurus” shirt to match Punky’s!

All in all, we had a great day. Punky got to play with her cousins. We ate great food and had great company. I will say she almost gave me a heart attack when she took a tumble down her Grammy’s stairs. It was 8 carpeted stairs, but she fell backwards and upside down all of them. All I could do was scream since I was not anywhere near her to catch her.

It scared her more than anything and it damn near killed ME! Anyway, she’s ok and is no worse for wear. We had a great Papa/Uncle Day!

 

Let’s Talk About Bullies

This has been weighing heavy on my mind lately. In a world where there are parents teaching their kids it’s ok to use their fists to fight their battles. Where parents are teaching kids that people unlike themselves are weird. We are teaching kids that you must be exactly the same as everyone else and if you aren’t, you shouldn’t be friends.

Just a few months ago, I had a conversation with a certain five year old about how weird ‘geeks’ are. EW!

I was appalled at the words coming out of this little girl’s mouth. I’m a geek, I said. That’s certainly not a lie. I love all things fantasy and Dr. Who is slowly getting me hooked on the science coolness of things. She said, “NO. No you are not!” She sounds disgusted and I wondered how she treated her classmates in regards to such a word. I’m raising my own kiddo to be a geek.

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Instead of celebrating the differences in people, we have kids calling each other “fags” in the hallway. Using “gay” as a term to be used as stupid or insignificant. Kids are taught in church and in the home that you shouldn’t be friends with anyone who is a ‘sinner’ and doesn’t believe in God like you do. (side note: I was told this in my own Sunday School class. I was told to steer clear of those who don’t believe in God. When I challenged that with questions, I got strange looks and was made to feel small and ashamed for questioning.)

Instead of teaching kids to think for themselves, we are telling them how they should feel. How they should behave. How they should believe. We are breeding intolerance. We are breeding acceptance to violence. We are breeding a generation of kids who will use their fists instead of their resources. Instead of their words.

I feel like some parents are playing the part of bullies. When  you tell your child that they must ‘stand up for yourself’ and not be a ‘pussy’ you are using negative terms to force your kid to feel bad about their walking away from confrontation. When we tell our kids it’s not ok to ‘narc’ they feel less empowered to tell an adult about the bullying.

This leaves them with little to no choices. Ignoring, walking away, and telling an adult has all been proven to help diminish the power a bully has over a child. Bullies need to feel power over something, they need to have a reaction. If they don’t get one, logic would say they will get bored. Why are we taking away our children’s only ammo to defend against bullies and ‘stand up for themselves.”

Bullying starts with the parents. Let your kids be themselves. Let your kids think for themselves. Build up their self-esteem so they are confident in who they are. Be an open book, let your kid know you are there to answer their questions and to talk about anything they need to talk about. Demonstrate ways to resolve conflict without raising your voice and without violence. Demonstrate in your home how to tell an adult about harmful things without being a ‘narc.’

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Our kids will always encounter a bully. Whether in school or at work. As a child or an adult. Bullies are everywhere because in the end, their parents taught them it’s ok to use violence and negativity to get what they want out of people. It’s our job as parents to curb this and stop teaching our kids that it’s ok to bully people into doing what they want. It’s our job as parents to build up our kids’ self esteem so bullies have no ammo and no way to trigger a negative response from our kids.

As a lesbian mom, I know my kid will have some questions about her family and I anticipate that her classmates are being taught that her parents are not legally married and they are not the same. My biggest fear is that this sweet daughter of mine will be the victim of bullying. I am at a loss, because of my own upbringing, how to handle a bullying situation without standing up and using your fists.

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When I say she can just tell her a teacher or an adult, I remember that when I was in school, the teachers didn’t really do much or were not very effective. Also, I remember being told that if you ‘tattle’ you were a narc and it could increase the bullying later.

(edited: in response to Ashley’s comment below, she made me think!)

There is a fine line between bullying and sticking up for yourself. The problem is that there has to be a better solution other than violence for violence; an eye for an eye. I want my kid to defend herself, but can we not teach our kids there are more acceptable ways of doing that without hitting back. I was brought up that if someone hits you, hit them back. That was acceptable. However, I’m beginning to wonder if that was a good idea on my parents’ part. We were taught it’s ok to fight back, but 9 times out of 10, those kids who ‘hit back’ are the ones punished. So then, what lesson does that teach the victims of bullying.

At such a young age, can we not try and teach our kids that hitting isn’t acceptable regardless of the receiving end of the violence. If we allow this behavior at school age, do we then say it’s ok to hit me when you’re a teenager if you don’t agree with something? Do we then give the impression to our children that it’s alright to break the law just because we don’t think they are fair? Where’s the line where authority is respected and not just another person to blame or pin bullying on?

We are the parents who shape the new generation of children. Let’s change the way kids treat one another.

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The line blurs in the minds of little ones. It is bound to get confusing for them when they are told they can hit back and stand up for themselves, but yet they can’t back talk their parents and they can’t say no to their teachers whether they agree or not. Why is is acceptable for the children to hit back, but not to talk about how they feel, talk about how they want things to be, how they think the world around them should be shaped.

I just feel like this bullying epidemic should open up the lines of communication between parent and child. We should sit our kids down and say, “Hitting is never ok. You are better than that. Use your words. Tell someone. Talk to someone.”

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So how do we help our kids who are bullied? How do we help our kids from being a bully? I was a bully in my day, I certainly don’t want to repeat that in my kid. I also don’t want her to feel like her worth is tied up in violence and that’s the only way she can stand up for herself. I don’t want her to feel a sense of accomplishment when she beats someone up, either in retaliation or provocation.

So moms, tell me, how do you deal with the topic of bullying and if you aren’t moms of school age children yet, have you thought of a plan of attack yet?

My Family Is Just Like Yours

**Posted for Blogging About LGBT Families Day (June 3rd)**

At the end of the day, that’s the simple truth. It doesn’t matter what parents head a family. In the end, my family is the same as yours. While your husband may go to work and provide for the family, that is my job in my family. You may stay home with your child and care for the needs of their everyday, we have a stay at home mom too, and it’s my daughter’s Mama, my partner.

The one thing I can never wrap my head around is that simple fact.

It doesn’t matter if the family is headed by two moms or a mom and a dad. It doesn’t matter if the family is headed by two dads or a single mom. When it comes down to the nitty gritty all we should really care about is whether or not the children in the family are being cared for, whether or not they are loved. I can say that I am sure your children are loved and well cared for and you do it in your own way.

The same courtesy is all I am asking for. This isn’t just about being a two mom house hold, it’s about being a family who parents differently than someone else. It’s about the “Mommy Wars” and judging other people’s decisions. Just because you didn’t allow your child to cry it out, doesn’t make my child a future sociopath. Just because we didn’t allow our daughter to co-sleep, doesn’t mean yours will grow up to be a clingy co-dependent adult.

See what I did there? I changed the way things look.

Imagine if you were me and your children were told that their father was not really their father because your marriage wasn’t legal and it wasn’t allowed because of some archaic rules from who knows where. Imagine for a moment if your husband passed away and your marriage was not fully recognized and your relationship to your child was not legally binding, thus, the moment he passed away, your child could be ripped from your arms. Imagine for a moment, you are sitting at a bench at the park with your daughter and you are sharing a nice little chicken nugget meal and someone were to come up and give you a judging look for feeding your child fast food. Now, imagine that you didn’t have time to cook a meal for your daughter because you just got off work, but your main priority was to take her out to play at the park and bond with her for a few hours.

Instead of judging the dynamic of another family, put yourself in their shoes. Feel what they feel. Regardless of what it is you are “being helpful” about. You aren’t being helpful. In the end, your comments and judgments are unfounded, because my family is just as normal as yours.

Does your daughter like to play at the park? Mine does.

playground

Do you come up with new ways to entertain your kid or spend time with them? We do!

playplace

Do you have a specific bedtime routine for your little one? We do.

nighttime

Do you read stories to your kid at night or during nap time? We do.

books

Does your toddler eat things they shouldn’t? Mine does.

chalk

Do you require your kid to eat their veggies? We do.

veggies

Does your daughter go to your spouse for comfort over you? Mine does.

comfort

And, let’s not forget, that because my family is not recognized as ‘legal’ and my partner is not considered my daughter’s mother, if I were to get a car accident tomorrow, my daughter would be ripped away from the person she seeks comfort from. Is that better for her? I doubt it. Does that cause damaging affects on a child’s psyche? I believe so.

If you have the same experiences that we do with our children, then as you can see, we are just like you. Our families are no different; our children are neither better nor worse off. In the end, it doesn’t matter who heads the family – what matters are the loves that comes with the family you have.

Celebrate the differences of the families around you. Remember that just because my daughter has two moms, doesn’t mean she doesn’t have male role models in her life. Just because my daughter has two moms, doesn’t mean she will lack for a male figure in her life.

And, frankly, how to single moms do it without a male figure in the children’s lives? Do we condemn them for not having a mom and a dad household? We sure don’t stigmatize them or say those moms are punishing their children for depriving them from having a male role model.

If you get anything out of this, just remember, my family is just like yours. Full of love and laughter, tears and fears. We all have the same common goal. Love our children and raise them to be good people in the world.

Check out more awesome blog posts about this:

Master List at Mobian

Real families on Equally Family