10 years ago today, I met the woman I would spend the rest of my life with. We didn’t make it official for a few weeks, but it was a day that I will never forget. K and I have weathered more bumps and bruises than most couples could withstand. I had no idea that from the moment she sent that first IM, we would be inseparable. Unbreakable. Forever.
So, with the last week full off a sea of poop, we are looking at a simple and quiet weekend at home.
This house is full of Nick Jr. and a dancing toddler.’
With Punky being so content and playing independently, I have been able to design and set up my new Etsy Shop. I am a little obsessed right now. I just realized that there really aren’t many birth announcements and baby shower invitations for same sex couples out there. At least, not any that I would want to use. So, I decided that I would sit down and make my own.
I’m having a ton of fun with it. It’s been a while since my mind has been this creative and I can sit in front of my computer and just let my mind create. I do so love the awesomeness of Photoshop.
While doing this, I have been using Punky’s newborn and baby pictures as stand ins for some of the announcements. It really reminds me of how much she has grown and changed over the last year. She’s so big and her hair is longer and her limbs are longer and she’s more mobile.
It’s astonishing to me.
There are so many people out there in my blogging friend community who are getting BIG POSITIVES it’s almost as if spring is definitely in the air and the lesbian baby making boom has arrived! Congratulations to all of you and I can’t wait to follow your journey until you make it to the place we are with Punky!
I never realized how awesome it is to be in a circle of like-minded people in this community. I find myself talking about each of you in some sense and it makes my day to see new posts and updates in the your adventures.
I’d really love it if you would check out the new shop I am working so hard on and maybe share it around with your friends! Don’t forget, blog readers get 10% off all personalized pregnancy or birth announcements right now! Custom orders, no problem! (Coupon Code: MAMAS)
I promise, I will have something else to talk about eventually, right now, this is where I am focusing my attention and creativity and it makes me have a new sense of excitement.
That’s how I spent my weekend, how about you?
So, this is just a little update. I have a new Etsy shop up and running. Printable invitations of all types. Mostly, right now, baby showers and birth announcements are listed. I will have more designs up and running sooner or later!
I will send you a digital file and you can print it as many times as you want!
So, if you guys have any desires for announcements or invitations of some kind, I am giving you guys a discount for being such an awesome community. So, if you are wanting to order something, or contact me for a custom listing, use this coupon code MAMAS for 10% off any order!
Go check it out, Mamas! I am putting the link to the shop on the navigation as well, so when you need announcements of any kind, hit me up!
From the title, you can tell, I am really trying to curb my mouth a bit. When I was pregnant I cussed like a sailor so much that K swore that our daughter was going to come out the spawn of Satan. Heh.
Anyway, we are dealing with a teething, sickly, puny kiddo right now. While I do so love when she wants to cuddle with me, I hate to see her so yucky feeling. I’m about to give a lot of gory, baby grossness, please be warned! I have learned that since I have become a mother, I am obsessed with bodily functions and they don’t phase me like they once did!
When she turned one last month we moved her from formula to 2% milk. When we went to her one year check up the doctor said to use 2% or whole milk. Our WIC office gave us checks for Whole milk, so I didn’t think anything about it, just switched her to whole milk.
Shortly after we switched it, she started getting really bad diarrhea. I thought maybe it was just her body working out the kinks to the change, so we continued the milk for about a week. We did stop the milk last week and she hasn’t had any milk. We thought she might be intolerant to dairy, but she has no problems with cheese and the 2% was fine.
Now, we are 2 weeks past the change in milk and she’s still got watery poops! We are wading in smellier than normal blow outs. She goes through 3-5 pairs of pants a day and my poor K is on diaper duty all day long. I feel terrible for her. Yesterday, she called me at work and said she had changed 3 watery poop diapers in 15 minutes. We decided it was time to see the doctor.
I called the office, we have such an awesome pediatrician’s office, they got her right in on my lunch break. When I took her in, she looked fine. She’s still eating and drinking. She still plays and climbs and doesn’t look or feel sick. She’s just exploding her weight in poops.
The doctor says it could be a million different reasons why she has had this diarrhea for so long, so we would not have any real diagnosis. However, she probably did have an intolerance to the Whole milk, some babies just can’t stomach the Whole milk, and we needed to go back to 2% milk and water only. She told us to cut off the juice.
(And it might be a good idea for her to stop eating mud and flowers. I totally don’t think that’s the problem, but I just had to show these pictures, to bring some brightness to the poop discussion!)
Doctor mentioned that she has been voiding so much that her gut is probably void of the good bacteria, so she told me to go get Probiotics over the counter at the pharmacy and put the powder in her sippy cup. If that didn’t clear things up, which the doctor seems to think it will, we would have to start collecting ….. poop samples?! Oh good grief.
The doctor said she would call and check up on us on Friday morning. That’s one thing I love about her doctor’s office. I swear, they are always checking on us and making sure that K and I are doing alright, as well as Punky. Their waiting room is so inviting and their exam rooms are awesome. I just love this office. A pair of new mommies couldn’t ask for a better office.
If Punky is still exploding out the pooper on Friday, we will have to use this kit she gave me to collect samples. Lucky me, I’m off on Friday. Guess which Mommy gets this job, LOL. I can’t complain. I’m not the one currently at home changing the million soupy diapers every five minutes. If we have to get collections, they will be testing for E-coli and Rotovirus. Doctor mentioned that it is possible that she has Rotovirus. Poor kid!
So, I am sure this post was full of a lot of TMI, but that’s what is going on in our world. We are wading in diapers full of soupy poop. Punky’s back molars are coming in and I know she’s teething too, so that can’t be helping with the other issues, but on the bright side, she’s not running a fever and she’s still pretty active for a sickly one. Her little booty is raw and sore to the touch though!
Also, for anyone who was wondering about the amber teething necklaces, we got Punky one about a month ago and she’s been wearing it non-stop except for bath time. Her back molar is almost completely out and until recently, we didn’t even know there was a tooth coming in. I like to say this is a successful tool for teething then! I got our necklace for pretty good price on a shop at Etsy, One Alaskan Mama, the woman was pretty awesome with turnaround time and I am happy to recommend her shop for these necklaces!
We talked about a second baby and we went back and forth for a week or so. I know that’s not really a lot of time to make a decision and we may change our minds in the future. For now, we decided that a second child isn’t really a good idea for us. I know, in our hearts, like most women, we want to have more children. We want to nurture a new generation of children in our family, in our blood. To satisfy that urge to bond with a child of our own. It’s just too much right now for our heads to say yes to.
The positives are obvious; K could have a child of her own blood and carry a child. I could actually name the child! We could give Punky a sibling. We would be growing our family. We could maybe have a son.
The negatives are more complicated; the insurance issue, the mental illness, the genetics. We would have to likely get a bigger home. We would care for a toddler and a newborn. It’s just a lot of more heavy weighing things.
I’m not going to say that we won’t revisit this situation at some point. However, the reason we were thinking about it, was because our donor is considering his own options as far as child-making abilities. In the next few years, he may not have the goods.
We are women, so who knows what tomorrow will bring, but right now, I think we are making the right decision for the two of us. We got it confirmed by K’s psychologist that it may not be the best idea, right now, for K to carry a child. She did say that it can be done if we want to do it, but at this point in time, it may not be the best option.
When we thought about having children and beginning a family, we always talked about having multiple children. But, when Punky was born, we have had talks about it before and really, it’s not really something we were concrete about. I think K and I both really thought our donor was over the whole conception thing and we really didn’t want to talk about asking him again. Until he brought it up, I feel like we were content with the lives we have and the one child we have.
So, we may revisit it. We may not. I never like to think I know how something will happen in the future. I don’t like to think in absolutes. I’m kind of funny that way.
It’s similar to my religious views. I don’t believe, now, that there is a God, persay. At least not the same God that people ‘worship’, because that God is just … eh … fickle. I don’t agree with the doctrine that is taught by the church. I also have to believe that I don’t know what’s actually true and what’s reality. Who knows, we may have been created by some all powerful being. We don’t really know. No one knows. Part of me wonders if I am just not a believer in the church.
Never think in absolutes. I never have. I just went off on a tangent. In the end, we have the child we both wanted. We love her more than anything and at the moment, she may be all we really have time or energy for. We could change our minds, but I really think this is the right decision for us, as hard as it is on my heart, my head knows we have made the right choice.
I am always the first to say that we would not be having a second child. That one kid was enough. However, the real reason for those words was because I didn’t believe we would have another shot. I had, in my mind, made it pretty clear that we were lucky enough to have the one child. I didn’t want to press our luck and our donor has been so very awesome about this in the last year, that who wants to push his boundaries either!
In the back of my mind, I always wait for the day he shows up at the doorstep and wants a relationship with Punky. The way we conceived, it’s his right to ask for these things. K and I have already discussed that we wouldn’t fight it either, but it would be a strain on how we wanted to raise our daughter. We hear from him from time to time, he’s a blessing. He just likes to catch up and see how we are doing, tell us how he is doing, and it’s a pretty awesome relationship we have with him. I just never dreamed of asking him to help us again, because it’s emotionally something that most people wouldn’t be able to handle twice. Our donor is truly an amazing individual in that way.
Then, yesterday, something happened. Our donor messaged me on Facebook and brought up the very real possibility that we are able to try again. I just assumed he was done with that whole thing. This did two things in my mind. It sealed the fact that he really is just content helping us create a family (I knew this, but there’s always that what-if in the back of my mind) AND we really do have the option to try for another baby.
If we had another baby, K would carry this time. I think that is a beautiful thing. She has her own clock that is just ticking away and I felt terrible that she hasn’t been able to experience being pregnant and having a child. We have a lot of things to work out though. I think we both do want a second child, our hearts are definitely in the path of wanting a sibling for Punky and a second baby to round out our family. Maybe it would be a boy this time!
K is BiPolar and she has some things she needs to work out. She is on a lot of medications that she would have to give up in order to be healthy for the baby. We need to talk to her psychologist and psychiatrist to see if they have options that they can give us for how they feel it might work for her to get pregnant. I also am afraid that all these medications may make it hard for her to get pregnant. She’s also Punky’s stay-at-home mom. I am thinking she is going to be off her medication, pregnant and trying to care for a very mobile, willful toddler.
She is also on my insurance right now, but in the times we have the baby, she would not be, because of the way my insurance is changing. We are going to a high deductible employee plan with an HSA that is overseen by the federal government. The government doesn’t recognize her as my ‘tax dependent which means, I can cover her through my employer’s insurance, but I have to pay full cost for all medical and prescription costs because of the deductible and not be reimbursed by the government sponsored HSA.
All in all, we would be going about this pregnancy, should she carry this child, pretty much full cost. I am going to talk to some other people about options on that before we go ruling it out based on that alone though. I know I can cover the child on my insurance and claim the baby as a ‘tax dependent’ after it’s born, so that’s not an issue. However, pregnancy is expensive. More expensive than we could afford, I’m still dealing with the bills I racked up from my own pregnancy and I was on insurance that covered a great deal of the cost.
Then, there is the way we conceived. The way we would conceive again, because it is the most full proof and frankly, the least expensive method. If you want to know the details of that, check out Path to Punky. Our donor lives several states away. We would have to get him here and then host him here and hope to conceive as fast as we did with my pregnancy. One shot. One week. One roller coaster of emotions. Can our relationship withstand that twice? I like to think it can. However, the situations is different now. We have a baby in the house. We have more responsibilities than we had last time we did this.
There are a lot of obstacles standing in the way and frankly, I don’t know if it’s the best idea to get pregnant again. However, at the same time, I want to give K a chance to be pregnant.
Also, while I know that she loves Punky as her own, there is something, it’s just different, when you have a child that you carried for 10 months and delivered from your body. It’s a different kind of bond. I know it is. I don’t want to take that away from her. I certainly didn’t like being pregnant, it was my least favorite time of this process of getting Punky, at the same time, I’m glad I had the experience. I also have a bond with Punky that I feel like is stronger because I carried her.
In my mind, I want to make this work! I don’t understand why it has to be so damn difficult for us to have the family we want, and straight couples all around the world are having ‘OOPs babies’ and some are being abandoned or not very well taken care of. There are people out there who say babies of gay parents are at a disservice, I will never understand that. We have to plan. We have to spend a great deal of time and money and effort to have our children. We have to REALLY REALLY want our children.
How can a baby be at a disadvantage because we love them so much we would do anything to have them?
Easter was great. We spent time with family and the Easter Bunny made a visit to our house. Even though we aren’t religious and we don’t celebrate Easter in the traditional sense, we can still enjoy the fact that it’s a kid’s holiday and Punky enjoyed it. We spent a lot of time with family and that’s was great. We got to see people we don’t always see and we got to see people we see all the time.
Easter is also an awesome event in our lives because it was the holiday of sorts that we were introduced to our donor. Our phone conversation with him on Easter 2011 led to our Punky.
As you can see, we now have a climber on our hands. She’s not scared of anything. I mean ANYTHING. She will fall and get right back up and do it all over again. It’s scaring the crap out of me. I swear, she is going to give me a heart attack and I’m not even 30 yet.
This is one of her first climbing attempts. She got herself up there all by herself. I was in the kitchen at the time and K was in the living room next to this toy box. There’s not stopping the child, so you just have to let her do it. I swear, all I can do now, is laugh. No one informed me that children climb like this so young. She literally hikes her leg up and pulls herself up there and makes it a daily … no hourly … goal to get herself up there!
Here in the Midwest, we have had nothing but snow storm after snow storm, so it’s nice that the weather is finally getting nicer. We have temps in the 50’s, which isn’t super warm or anything, but throw a jacket on and it’s so much nicer than sloshy snow. I have been taking Punky outside after work and playing in the yard. She likes to climb up the stairs of our apartment building to get to the front door. She’s not quite ready to walk up them, not even close, but it kind of adorable to watch her climb them so fast!
I hope everyone is enjoying the Spring where ever you are and that you had a great Easter however you celebrate. I know there are some Mamas out there who are trying to conceive this month, so good luck and I will send lots of baby dust your way!