A Day In The Life of Peyton

Kim and I have a loose agreement on how to deal with late night feedings and daytime care when it comes to Peyton. Kim is a stay at home Mama and I am a working Mommy. This means she stays home with Peyton and takes care of daytime, I come home from work and take care of evening and overnight care of Peyton. I decided to give you a little glimpse into the life of Peyton.

***I apologize in advance for the non-edited pictures. I wanted to feature exactly what it looks like in the world of Peyton Shea.*** Also, please don’t assume that if there is a large gap between times that the last picture is all she did for that time frame. We didn’t take pictures of diaper changes and monotonous things.

Starting with my shift: Which actually starts when I get off work, but we will start it at 12AM, so we can get a good idea of what 24 hours looks like.

12:00 AM – Peyton went to sleep at around 9pm. I thought I might be slick and slip into bed around midnight without her noticing. It didn’t happen. She woke up just as my head hit the pillow. Then decided it was time to eat. She’s getting better at holding her own bottle.

At 3:50 am, Peyton thought it was time to get up yet again. She ate a full 6 oz. bottle and after a quick diaper change, she thought she might play with my blankets. This is her way of trying to stay awake. Mommy is just too blurry-eyed for that. Off to bed she goes again.

This is my attempt to take pictures in the COMPLETE DARKNESS of my bedroom.

6:53 am, Peyton makes a noise in her sleep. A tiny little noise really. I learned that no matter how deaf I was before I had a child, I hear every noise now that I am a Mommy. Guess who stayed asleep and who was awake? I’ll give you a minute to guess.


7:20 am, I checked my Facebook on my phone and then thought it might be a good idea to try and go back to sleep. Just a few seconds after shutting my eyes, the little princess made yet another noise and I was awake to check.

Sound asleep right? Back into the bed I went.

7:24 am, Nope, she was playing opossum. She was awake and ready to eat again. So I climbed out of my bed and this is how I found her. Silly girl.

Peyton usually grabs onto the bottle like she is starving to death. She also has tiny monkey toes. She likes to wrap her legs around my arm when she eats.

I thought, since she was still rubbing her eyes and almost falling asleep on her bottle, that she might go back to sleep.

7:40 am – No such luck. This is what she thought of that idea. I laid her down and she squealed a little, made a little yawning noise and looked at me like I was the craziest Mommy in the world for thinking she might possibly be ready to go back to sleep.

See .. here she is laughing at me. Good try Mommy. I’m ready to get up now. Thanks.

7:42 am – I picked her up and brought her in the living room so her squealing (which she loves the sound of) wouldn’t disturb her Mama. She laid on her mat to watch her cartoons. She sure does love “Super Readers” and “Dinosaur Train.”

 8:50 am – Its time for Mommy to get ready for work, so just a little check in on the Princess. She’s comfortably watching “Dinosaur Train.” She gives me a look, like, Nothing to See Here! I quickly walk away, as to not disturb The Tiny Ruler Of The Universe.

 9:30AM – Right before Mommy walks out the door for work, Peyton is playing with Henrietta, her stuffed Hippo. She likes to suck on Henrietta’s face and ears. Peyton started to get a little restless right about this time – but she had been up for approximately 2 hours. That means, its almost naptime. Too bad she couldn’t have been ready for bed before I had to wake up her Mama.

Apparently, according to Mama, (who didn’t start taking pictures until later, because I didn’t tell her about this little project until later) She and Peyton went back to sleep when I went to work and then woke up later, which is where we will begin our pictures again.

11:21 AM – After napping, she played with her pig on the play mat. I am sure it was making all sorts of fun noises. That look on her face, is clearly saying “We are awake, Mama. Now what?”

11:24 AM – Barney. That’s what is next. Mama and Peyton watched Barney until it was time to eat again. Usually, Peyton eats as soon as she gets up, but she must not have been hungry quite yet. I hear, from Mama, that Barney is a must see show in our house.

11:41 AM – Its a busy day for Peyton. As always, its Sleep, Play, Eat (Repeat). For the most part, she doesn’t stray from this pattern, though admittedly, she does things longer one day and shorter the next. Its whatever she wants to do, really. She might be spoiled, but I like to say she just knows what she wants.

11:44 AM – After her mid-morning meal, Peyton is enjoying a book. She is a fan of Dr. Seuss. This particular book is “The Nose Book”. Though you will notice in our weekly pictures that her favorite book is “Fox in Socks”. However, Peyton really will listen to just about any book you read to her, so long as she can turn the pages for you.

11:45 AM – After the book is read, it is a tradition during story time to allow her to hold the book. To feel it and of course … to taste it. Apparently board books taste delicious. It produces lots of saliva from her tiny teething mouth. So, she is either trying to eat the book or she wants to learn the words through osmosis.

11:49 AM – Peyton calls Grammy on the phone. Now, she is only 5 months old (on Wednesday) so technically, Mama dialed the number and Peyton inspected her Grammy’s voice coming out of the box. Mama tells me that Peyton hung up on Grammy several times during this particular call. She’s not quite gotten a handle on keeping the phone open and not pushing buttons.

12:07 PM – Talking to Grammy is so exhausting that it is nap time again. Peyton goes to sleep in approximately 15 minutes or so. Which may seem like a long time while you are standing over her crib, patting her butt and rocking the bed. According to Mama, it felt more like 45 minutes.

12:51 PM – This picture is a little blurry, but you get the gist. “Just kidding, Mama.” She took a total of maybe 40 minutes of nap. She just wanted to talk to her Mama, I am sure. Her mouth is generally always opened and emitting some very strange growling, squealing, or delightful laughter or screeching sounds.

12:59 PM – Peyton loves green beans. We learned this pretty much the first day she ate them. She has been eating them consistently for the third day today. The first day, she struggled with swallowing, but obviously wanted to eat them. On the second day, she was getting better at swallowing and Mama says, today, the third day, she ate like the big girl she is! She finished the rest of her green beans and swallowed without any problems.

1:06 PM – After eating lunch, Peyton needed a snack. The appropriate snack would be her saucer toys. She promptly sticks them in her mouth and make sure at least one or two fingers are in the way too. 

Surely large amounts of drool ensued here. 

3:09 PM – Peyton played in her saucer until around 2:30 or so and then started to take a nap. She was sleeping when Mommy came home and took this picture on lunchtime.

Sad I didn’t get to play with her, but we all know, if Peyton doesn’t nap, no one in the apartment is very happy.

 4:41 PM – Waking up from her nap. She doesn’t look as cute here as she normally does. I think it might be Mama’s picture taking skills. (Shh. We won’t tell Mama.)

4:46 PM – Peyton has a tiny bottom tooth coming in. I can feel it and its sharp! She chews on everything. I got these rings with different textures at Hyvee for like 20 for $5.00. She loves them. I’m glad. She can hold onto them and chew on them for hours.

5:10 PM – She finished green beans earlier for lunch time. She started on Squash this time. Mama says she couldn’t fill the spoon and get it to her mouth fast enough. Peyton’s mouth just kept opening and closing for more. 

I’m glad she takes after Mama and likes her vegetables. 

5:54 PM – I don’t know what show this is, and Mama is asleep, so I can’t ask her. However, it does look like the camera and picture taking is starting to annoy Peyton. She just looks like she is telling her Mama, Enough is Enough.

6:13 PM –  I got Peyton this play mat at Wild Child for $30. It is Baby Einstein and apparently that makes it expensive. However, the point it, she has loved it ever since. We hang other toys on it, like her pull down pig and her talking bear. Mostly, she likes to hang off the sides and sometimes, if Mama stands her up, she will chew on those side pieces …. just for fun.

6:19 PM – Can’t miss a meal with my little girl. She is hungry and she will let you know about it. There is a certain kind of shrill in her shriek when the hunger pains are afloat. Here she is enjoying another part of her dinner.

6:37 PM – I’m not really sure what she is looking at here. I am willing to bet, this is more of a yawn than an inquisitive moment. Mama says she was getting sleepy, but she didn’t want to put her down for the night, so that Peyton could see me when I got home from work.

7:38 PM – This picture is pretty blurry, and that’s my fault. I got home and took it. She played with her doll on my bed while I got into my PJs. 113 degrees outside makes for a grimy clothes wearing day. Peyton and I spent that time just hanging out.

7:42 PM – I asked her what she did all day and I got this look. “You have been documenting my every move all day, Mom. Really?” Anyway, I discover something new each day, things she likes or doesn’t like. Since I work, I miss a lot of things that happen. I take this time to talk to her and play.  I found out she likes the crinkling sound of the wipes container, so she plays with it a lot.

7:56 PM – Since she loves that wipes container so much, I put it to good use. I moved to the other side of my bed and we had a little scooting practice. I showed her the wipes and she concentrated on it real hard. She is less pissy about being on her belly now. That’s nice. At least she doesn’t look at me with contempt and just fall asleep anymore. Anyway, she got frustrated half way across the bed, but she did make to the wipes. 

8:03 PM – After much practice and play in the bedroom, I decided a cute shot of Peyton and Mommy might be in order. We headed to the living room for more Squash. She looks so excited doesn’t she?

8:06 PM – Into the living room we went. I got her set up on her Bumbo and Mama was trying to show me how to better get the spoon in Peyton’s mouth without making a mess. Instead, Peyton decided to scan the bookshelf. The bookshelf in this particular room is for her mommies, her bookshelf is in the bedroom. I can’t imagine which book caught her attention.

She is kind of distractable.

8:13 PM – She wasn’t really interested in eating much, so we moved on. We haven’t been as consistent with “Your Baby Can Read” as I would like, so I popped it into the DVD player on the computer. She seemed to enjoy it. It is only the second time she has watched it and actually paid attention.

8:19 PM – However, we didn’t get very far into it. Remember she was tired when I got home from work and now its been almost an hour. She started to buck and squirm. She wanted out of her Bumbo. Luckily, her little legs are too chunky to allow her to try and stand on her own. The seat always comes with her when we pull her out of it.

8:22 PM – So we started up the bed time routine. Which is also not very consistent. Sometimes she’s asleep before I get home. However, tonight, she was not. So, off to the bathroom we went for bath time. She squeals and giggles every time we get ready to take a bath. Its adorable.

8:35 PM – All fresh and clean and out of the bath. Mama said we had to cover up her little body if we were taking pictures. Which of course I agree. We got this smile though because the gust of air hit her in the face as the towel was wrapped quickly around her.

8:37 PM – All dressed and ready for bed. She uses Mama’s fingers to walk across the bed to see Mommy for a bed time story. Look how excited she is for story time!

8:38 PM – Reading “Fox in Socks” by Dr. Seuss. It happens to be her favorite story to read. She likes to help Mommy turn the pages. I am pretty sure in this picture I am stumbling over the words. That makes her giggle usually. That book is kind of dangerous to the tongue.

8:43 PM – Its time for one more bottle before bed. She was already sleepy before I got home from work, so getting to bed was a piece of cake. At night, I like to hum and sing to her while she drinks her bottle. It seems to relax her, its like her own little ‘quiet time’.

8:54 PM – It took no time at all to get her to sleep. She was out until around 1 AM, so no more pictures for the night. This concludes her 24 hour picture show.

Take Care

The Questions We Are Asked – Part 2

So, I read a blog on Babble.com written by a lesbian woman who is trying to conceive with her partner. She wrote a blog about The Questions That Are OK To Ask Gay Parents and it got me thinking. These are questions that I asked myself and my partner. It inspired me to write my own blog. I decided to break it into different questions though. I have already tackled: Who Will Carry?

How Did You Decide What Last Name To Give The Baby?

After the long and drawn out conversation about who would carry, I was more determined than ever to make sure that Kim felt as included in this baby’s growth before and after it was born. It didn’t take me any time at all to come to terms with the naming. I quickly wanted to make sure she had control of the naming of our child. Completely.
I always knew she was a girl!
Everyone else swore I was having a boy
I knew better.
We sort of tackled this once before. In the beginning, I basically wanted Kim to have the control. She had names picked out for a boy and a girl right off the bat. I thought for sure she would change her mind, but she never did. We knew were were pregnant at about 4 weeks. From that moment on, Peyton was Peyton Shea Fields. We didn’t know she was a girl, well … I did know she was a girl (But, that’s another story, for another day). 
If I had been in charge of her name, I might have chosen something to honor my friend who passed away 10 years ago. If I had been in charge of her name, I wouldn’t have incorporated the meaning behind her name the way that Kim did. I’m just glad she didn’t try to name her Spiderman or Valkyrie. She threatened it. I couldn’t have vetoed it. That was the deal. I trusted that Kim would give our daughter a name as beautiful as she would be. Kim didn’t disappoint in that department.
We looked into what last name to give our child. That was a tough decision. Mostly because I wasn’t sure, in the beginning, what was allowed and legal to put on the birth certificate. In the state of Missouri, we are not allowed to be legally married, so Kim can’t be on the birth certificate. I left the father slot blank. That’s a story for another day as well. 
Apparently, though you can’t have same sex parents on a birth certificate, you can give your baby whatever last name you want. I don’t understand that. However, it doesn’t really matter. In a way, its nice to have Peyton have her Mama’s last name. It creates yet another link to Kim as her Mother as well. They have the same last name. She may not be biologically connected, but Peyton and Kim share something few mothers and daughters share. 
A name. Not only did we give Peyton Kim’s last name, we gave her Kim’s middle name. So they are both sporting Shea as a middle name and I think its beautiful. I am so happy that we found a way to keep them connected as mother and daughter. I don’t care what the law says, I don’t care what anyone else says. Our little girl has two mommies and I am glad we could connect them just a little more with their names.

Later, I will tackle the other questions mentioned in the inspired blog post I read: What Will Your Child Call You? Will You Discuss The Donor With Your Child? What Do You Do On Father’s Day? 

PS. I just learned of a family who may not be in the exact same boat as me, but I do know what its like to be trying to have a child and being hit with difficulty. The Hogelands are currently in the process of bringing home and adopting their 5 year old daughter from Europe. They are having a giveaway and fundraiser. Check it out here. I feel like its a good cause and another one that I will gladly support on my blog.

Take Care

The Questions We Are Asked – Part 1

So, I read a blog on Babble.com written by a lesbian woman who is trying to conceive with her partner. She wrote a blog about The Questions That Are OK To Ask Gay Parents and it got me thinking. These are questions that I asked myself and my partner. It inspired me to write my own blog. I decided to break it into different questions though. So here’s the first Question answered by me.

How Did We Decide Who Would Carry Our Child?

Carrying a baby means you can’t
 see your toes!

I’m not sure why this question would make people think I would be offended. It really is a valid question. We were planning for an nontraditional family and its better to ask your questions and get the appropriate answer. I would rather that than someone guess and be wrong.

Most lesbians that I speak to or read about have planned to have more than one child. My partner and I have only planned to have one child, so this decision was pretty difficult. We would not have the opportunity to share the role of biological mother.
Being women, of course we both wanted to carry the child. It’s sort of something about the biological clock ticking in women. With the exception of my best friend, I have never met a woman who didn’t want to carry their own child. I know women out there exist, but for the most part, women want to have babies. If you can’t have a baby, it’s a little disappointing.
With Kim and me, we talked about it a great deal and weighed a lot of the pros and cons for each of us. There are a lot of factors to think about. How do you keep the partner involved in the process? How will the family of the ‘other mother’ feel about it? How is insurance for the baby and delivery for the mother handled?
All sorts of things came to mind, but these were the biggest factors for us.
In the end, we decided on my carrying the child we were planning for. This is because my partner had a pretty rough last year. She was diagnosed with several mental illnesses and she simply wasn’t interested in passing those onto our child. I wouldn’t have been concerned about it, but she was. She also pointed out that she is on a lot of medication for her disorders so it wouldn’t be healthy for her or the baby.
With her many illnesses, my partner was also deemed disabled in the eyes of the government. This means that she doesn’t currently have a job, and she likely won’t have one in the future. This works for our family. I am okay with it. I love her regardless of the circumstances. However, this means that she doesn’t have health insurance. She is covered, thank goodness, on my insurance at work. 
We wanted my pregnancy and delivery to be covered through my insurance, but we also wanted to make sure the baby was covered when she was born. I wasn’t clear on the details on my insurance regarding domestic partner biological children. So, that was another factor for us. I knew that my biological child would be covered on my insurance.

Our baby has 2 mommies, it doesn’t
matter who is biological.

My job gives maternity leave, so that was nice. Kim is not working so she is a stay at home mommy. I never really would have thought of our roles in that manner, but its works wonderfully. Peyton doesn’t have to go to daycare which saves on money and sickness. Also, I can get out of the house. I really wouldn’t make a very good stay at home mommy. 

In the end, these were the factors we chose for who would carry our child. It was a tough decision and I am thankful that her family still feels included in Peyton’s life and understands that even though Kim didn’t carry our daughter, she is in fact her mother. Both of our families accept our decision and it has not affected them negatively at all. Frankly, if I thought Kim and I would be splitting in the near future and that things would get ugly, I would have never dreamed of starting a family with her in the first place. 
As it stands, it doesn’t matter to us who carried Peyton. In the end, no matter what happens between Kim and I in the future (nothing is predicted to change) Peyton will always be Kim’s daughter and her family will always be a part of her life.

Kim and her Mom. Peyton will always
have her Grammy, no matter who her
biological Mommy is.

Later, I will tackle the other questions mentioned in the inspired blog post I read: Whose Last Name Will the Baby Have? What Will Your Child Call You? Will You Discuss The Donor With Your Child? What Do You Do On Father’s Day? 

Stay Tuned. More to come.
Take Care 

I Traumatized My Baby

So, we all know that Peyton is 4 and a half months old. She’s still little, regardless of her size. Technically, the baby is a giant! Anyway, we planned a trip to visit my family this passed weekend and it didn’t really go the way I had hoped.

Mommy and Peyton

Let’s preface this by saying …. Peyton only knows her mommies.

Truly, we don’t have people over and we don’t really go out with her. We are both pretty much homebodies and don’t leave the apartment if we can help it. Peyton knows my brother because he comes to visit, my sister because she lives with us, Kim’s sister because she visits frequently, and Kim’s mom and step-dad because we are over there a lot.

Papa Gary makes Peyton scream

However, Peyton kind of made it look like she hates men. She screamed at my dad. She screamed at my step dad. She screamed at my grandpa. BUT, she also screamed at my mom and my grandma as well.

So, its not a gender thing. Its not about having two mommies. I am sure that people will be jumping to the conclusion that the lack of males in her life has a bad effect on her tiny brain. That’s not true. 

My daughter was unsure all weekend

It is now the time in her development where she is creating bonds with the people she knows and cares about. She doesn’t know my family. It makes me sad really. It was even worse when she was screaming at my grandpa and then he didn’t know who I was. He’s getting dementia and that’s another story, but it still made me sad that I couldn’t get a picture of Peyton with my grandpa because she wouldn’t let him hold her. I don’t know how long he has left with us.

Basically, Peyton isn’t really exposed to different kinds of people. This is our fault. She’s not used to loud places or people. She’s not used to being in the car that much and the drive was 2.5 hours to and from. She’s not used being held all the time or having people in her face constantly. She’s not used to being passed around and she’s not used to being played with all the time.

This is her “unimpressed” face

Peyton has a schedule. This weekend screwed up her schedule. She didn’t nap. She refused to nap. Not only because she was overwhelmed, but also because she had some much she wanted to see. Not to mention that I realized this weekend that I have a serious baby. Her personality is pretty quiet and observant. She wants to look at everyone. She wants to see what’s going on. She really doesn’t smile at people unless she means it.

This weekend. She didn’t really mean it. She was not impressed with my family and she was not impressed with the importance that I had in my heart for her to love my side of the family. They were so excited for us to come visit and so excited to see her. They hadn’t seen her since she was 3 weeks old, so she is more interactive now. Unfortunately, she usually just gave them all this funny look.


So, the entire weekend, we fought about napping and interacting. She didn’t want to take naps, so she was always tired. A tired baby is not a happy baby. Unfortunately, that made things so much worse. She is not at all a nice baby when she hasn’t had her naps. She is on a schedule of sleeping, eating, playing and repeating all through the day. She didn’t have her bed or her toys readily on hand. So, instead, she was not interested in playing or sleeping in unfamiliar territory.

Her cousin is grabbing on her.

Instead of playing with her cousins, who … I’ll admit … are a little loud and ornery, she played with her toes. Her toes and her mommies were her best friends this weekend.

So sleepy and sucking on her toes
is apparently very soothing.

Even when we got home, she was not having any part of naps or being playful and cute. She screamed at us for a really long time and it wasn’t until this morning that she was even close to her normal self. So, note to her mommies, we need to socialize the kid. I didn’t think it really made a difference, since she was so small. Apparently, that’s something we need to work on. I am going to see if I can find a mommy and me type thing to take her to. She can’t sit on her own yet, but I really think just bringing her around other people will be helpful.

We have another visit in October. Let’s hope by then she will be older, less skittish, and more socialized!!

Take Care

Riding In Cars With Babies

So, today we embark on a long road trip. We are going to visit my family about three hours away. Not so long a road trip for most people, but it is kind of a long trip for me. Especially at the price of gas right now.

Gas prices are another subject altogether though. I am not writing about gas prices. I am writing about taking my almost 5 month old daughter on a 3 hour car ride today.

See, when I was pregnant, I had to pee a lot. So, when we went on this car ride, we were sure that I would have to stop the car and pee every hour and the three hours would triple to like nine or something. That didn’t happen, baby Peyton in the womb was very kind to me and never made me stop the car to pee.

Peyton is the Princess

I have a feeling, baby Peyton, now the tiny ruler of the universe, will not be so happy to oblige. Let me tell you why I think this:

When the car is going, Peyton is happy. If the car stops for any reason, she screams. If a fast paced song comes on the radio, she screams. If the sun gets in her face, she screams. If the bass is too much for her (AKA rap or hip hop), she screams. If she is bored, she screams.

Fun, right?

This is her “Do What I Say” face.

So, I have tried to be prepared. However, packing for my 5 month old tends to also be a chore. We will be out of town for 4 days. This means she has her own bag full of outfits and onesies. She can’t share the same suitcase as her Mommies and she certainly can’t fit her clothes, books, and toys in the diaper bag. The diaper bag has all the ‘just in case’ medicine, diapers, super awesome wipes, formula and several extra bottles.

Yes, I realize my daughter is … kind of spoiled.

No more pictures!!

I’m not worried about that. What I am worried about is getting to her many toys and such while I am driving. I am not sure if her Mama will be in the back seat with her or sleeping in the front seat with me. That is something we have yet to discuss.

So, for the time being, I have two toys attached to her car seat – they are a big bouncing pink pig that makes music when she pulls on it and Darwin the monkey. Why is the monkey so important?

He has a mirror on his belly.

Why is this important?

The mirror holds her best friend. That girl in the mirror that cracks her up!

That girl in the mirror has a Grammy too!

Hope everyone has a great weekend and I will see the family I will see while we are in town.

Take Care ❤

Can’t wait to see Uncle Cody again! We can share a bite of astronaut!

Letter To Peyton – 4 months old

4 ½ months old

Dear Peyton,

I have decided to write you a letter every so often and if I can get my act together, give them to you when you graduate. I doubt that I will actually follow through with this plan, but I will do my best. 18 years is a long time, though. And Mommy is a little flighty, your Mama will be sure to point that out.

I want you to know that I love you more than anything in the world. You are the one person that I have always wanted in my life. I wished for you for so many years and against all odds, you are finally here. The last four months have been so very hard, but only because I have never been a mommy before. I keep telling myself that it’s not because I don’t like being your mommy, it’s because I am not used to it.

I actually love being your mommy. I am so thankful to have you in my life. I will never be able to find the words to say thank you to the many people who helped make you possible. I have dreamed of you for more years that I can count in my life. I have watched my friends and family have babies and wish so much that I had my own.

I now have you.

Of all the things I have done in my life, having you has been the hardest and the most rewarding thing I have ever done. Most likely the hardest thing I will ever do in my life. I promise to always love you, no matter what. I promise to give you the support you need when you grow up. I promise to be proud of you in all you want to do.

Its not everyday that people get to experience miracles. I am so glad that I am one of those people who have a miracle in my life. I will never take for granted the love that I hold for you and the overwhelming feeling I have when I look into your eyes.

I love to hear your laugh and your fingers wrapped around mine is just the best feeling in the world. I am looking forward to watching you grow and being the best Mommy to you that I know how to be. However, I hope that you will be patient with me. I am new to this.

No Mommy is perfect and no daughter comes with a handbook, but together, I believe we can make it through anything.

I will love you to the moon and back.
Hugs and Kisses,


Monday Moments Update – Busy Weekend

So, I don’t really know who reads this blog and really, its sort of just an outlet for me. However, I know there are some people out there from my hometown that have started to read to keep up with how Peyton is doing, how motherhood is treating us, and just to catch up on things. So, I have decided that on Monday, I will do my best to keep the updates on Peyton for the last week or so.


So introducing  Monday Moments:

This weekend was crazy.

Saturday: If I remember correctly, it was close to 106 degrees that day. Frankly, the heat wave is getting stupid. I am sweating in places I should not be noticing. Peyton stayed the night with Grammie and Papa. She went swimming in their backyard in her super cute swimsuit.

Every couple of weeks, Kim and I have a Saturday with some friends of ours and we play D&D. Which, by the way, is an awesome time. When that happens, Peyton and her cousin go and spend time at Grammie’s house. Its an awesome escape from motherhood. However, I admit, most of the time, I am wondering what she’s doing and how she is. I’m so thankful that Peyton has grandparents so close that can take her off our hands every now and then. We love being mommies, but every mommy needs a break every now and then.
Now … to actually get sleep when she is having that sleepover. Never really happens. I just end up staying up later, so I can do what I want to do. Its kind of ridiculous.
Sunday: Peyton came home from Grammie and Papa’s and we got a small nap in. Then it was off to her first ever play date. I’m really not a people person, I don’t really care to be around people that much. However, I thought it might be fun to take Peyton to play with another baby. They were adorable.
Its kind of difficult to let 4 month old babies play with each other. Neither of them can sit on their own yet, so we have a wobbly bunch of playmates. However, since the only other friend that Peyton has is the girl in the mirror, I was thrilled to watch her play with another baby. 
I’m sure she was happy about that too. I heard from Kim that last week, Peyton had a fight with the girl in the mirror. I know, when they play, that little girl just cracks her up, but Kim says they had a tiny spat and Peyton yelled at her. They have since made up.
Also on Sunday, my brother Cody surprised us with a visit. Whenever he is in town and has time to stop, he finds a moment to come say hello. He is quite amusing to Peyton and they get along real well. I enjoy hanging out with him and since my family is a couple hours drive from where we live, its nice to have a visit now and then from him.
She brought back that friend from Grammie’s house. We named the astronaut Oscar and his limbs are easy for her chubby little fingers to hold onto and his head is good for chewing on.
In other news, Papa thinks he might have felt Peyton’s ‘fangs’ coming in. Just a little bump. To my knowledge, babies get their bottom two teeth first. Of course, my baby would get her fangs first. Apparently, I watched too much Twilight when I was pregnant. 
We went to the doctor’s today for her 4 month check-up. She is 15 lbs 11 oz. That’s 4 pounds more than her 2 month check up. She’s also 25 inches long. That means … she’s over 2 ft tall. THAT’S NUTS!
She got her shots again today and I swear, every time we get her shots, she looks at me like I have betrayed her. She just looks at me like “Mommy, you knew I was coming here for shots and you danced me around the livingroom singing about coming to see Dr. Brady.” She refuses to look at me for at least 10 minutes and doesn’t talk to me when we get home. The up side to her getting her shots is that she sleeps ALL DAY LONG and usually ALL NIGHT. I know I shouldn’t be happy about that, but eh, its a nice little break.
That’s about it for now. 

Take Care

10 Things Peyton Will Experience

So yesterday I wrote about all the things my daughter will not experience in her lifetime, at least not under my roof. Now, I will touch on the things that she can look forward to experiencing.

Education At Home

I plan to be a very hands on Mommy when it comes to school-work. Whether we decided to do public school or home school, I know that I want her to have all the educational opportunities available to her. Right now, we are attempting the “Your Baby Can Read!” series, which we have only done half-hearted since she’s still so little. That doesn’t mean that she won’t be getting better at it. We read stories before bed and Peyton loves her books. I plan to teach her the ABCs and her colors and shapes early on. She will know her body parts and her numbers. I am sure we will do this in a fun, kid-friendly way, but those who say “let your kid be a kid” apparently don’t know how to make learning fun.
Open Communication with Mommies

I was scared to death to talk to my parents about anything. I didn’t discuss sex and I didn’t discuss what I felt or believed in. I don’t want Peyton to feel scared to speak her mind. We will teach her that there is a time and a place, there is a way that you express your feelings, but that you are allowed to have your own opinions. Of course, it doesn’t mean that you can cuss at people and force your opinions on other people, but you do have the right to your own thoughts and feelings. 
As much as it might kill Kim, if our daughter was a Republican like this guy, we would love her anyway. I would want her to tell me about it. We don’t have a religious practice in our house. I am a little in between religions and Kim is atheist. However, if she wanted to be Christian, I would support her right to go to church and believe what she wanted. So long as she took the time to education herself and she knew why she believed what she believed. Also, I would want to make sure she was tolerant to other people’s views, regardless of her own. 
Learning Responsibility Through Chores

I freaking hated chores as a kid. However, I know now that I am an adult that they were necessary for my development and growth. It doesn’t hurt any kid to get some elbow grease into some dishes or vacuum a floor. I have never heard of a kid dying because they had to clean up after themselves or take the trash out. I personally like the reward system, like a star chart for younger kids and allowances for older kids, but Kim and I have not discussed that yet and we have plenty of time to decide.
Characters of Our Imagination and Tradition

No offense to those parents out there that believe that letting their kids think Santa is real is lying to them. BUT, what the hell are you concerned about? I’m sorry. I plan to foster Peyton’s imagination for as long as I can. She will get letters from Santa every year, I can’t wait til I can send her the first one this year. I will leave out a basket for her on Easter and we will decorate and carve pumpkins on Halloween. She will believe in the Tooth Fairy and Leprechauns. I have no problem “lying” to my kid to nurture her imagination and her belief in magic. Being a kid, she has the time to play in magic castles and be rescued by princes (or princesses if she chooses) and ride on rainbows and clap with fairies and sing with dolphins. The sky is the limit and she can experience it all with my blessing.
Making Her Own Mistakes and Hopefully Learning From Them

Kim may cringe on this one, but I totally believe that Peyton needs to make her own mistakes. I am not talking about the mistakes that can bring harm to her or be dangerous in some way. I am not a neglectful mother. However, if she decides to date that loser for a year – she will eventually learn from that mistake or she won’t. She has to decide that and I will be happy for her. If she decides to paint her room black when she’s a teenager and then realizes 10 years later that was ridiculous, she will hopefully have learned from it. If she doesn’t study for a test and then fails said test, she will learn the value of studying for tests. In general, I want her to take responsibility for her actions and the consequences that come with them. We can shelter our kids and shield them from every bad decision they make. Some of those decisions make our kids better people in the long run.
Freedom of Expression

I was allowed to wear make-up in the 6th grade, I was allowed to dye my hair in the 7th. I don’t personally know that these were smart things for me to do, but I did them, and I had my mother’s blessings. I believe that this is not exactly what Freedom of Expression is talking about. I am talking about the freedom to wear the colors of clothing you want, to wear the accessories that you find help define your personality. I don’t think I will be the mom letting her get her nose pierced at 15 or a tattoo at 16, but I think Kim and I can cross that bridge when we get to it. All I want for her is to express herself how she wants. Whether that be athletically, musically, creatively, artistically. I want to foster her need to be different and unique.
Snooping Mommy and Lack of Privacy

Yes, sure, I hated when my mother went through my stuff. I also know, now, that she wouldn’t have known I was doing half the crazy stuff I was doing if she hadn’t gone through my stuff. I am sure I will get backlash from this particular point, but I don’t see the harm in checking up on my kids. I can make sure that her text messages are appropriate. I can make sure that she isn’t posting stupid stuff on Facebook (if it exists by the time she’s old enough to use it). I can read her diary to make sure she isn’t engaging in risky and stupid behaviors. I hope that since we are going to have open communication and dialogue that I won’t have to stoop to this level, but I do reserve the right to do so if necessary. One because I am nosy and two because I care.
Consistent Discipline

I’m really a firm believer that discipline never hurt a kid. Currently the goal for Peyton’s discipline will be time out – and when she is old enough to know what that means, we will be using the method very regularly to make sure she understands the rules and boundaries expected of her. I was spanked as a child, unlike most people who find it to be wrong, I personally don’t have a problem with spanking. It didn’t traumatize me and it didn’t make me fear my parents. It made me realize what would happen if I disobeyed. However, I do think that in most situations, time out can fix the problems of disobedience in children. Especially if you start early and are consistent. However, if the situation warrants it, I don’t think I would be opposed to swatting her butt a few times either.
Acceptance To Be Herself

I will be honest, I have an image of what Peyton will be like when she’s older. Sometimes I sit and wonder what her interests will be, what her favorite color will be, what she will look like. I spend hours thinking about her first day of school, her graduation, and her wedding. In the end it doesn’t really matter to me. Those are all my dreams and wishes for her. She is her own little person and she will grow up into a woman with her own aspirations and desires. I will never stifle her from those dreams and ambitions. If she wants to be a chess player. I accept it. If she wants to be a dancer. I accept it. If she wants to be a football player. I accept it. A cheerleader. I accept. Bible School Teacher. I accept it. Trash truck driver. I accept it. I don’t care what she turns out to be like, as long as it makes her happy in the end.
Unconditional Love No Matter What

When I came out, I had a hard time with my father not accepting that I was a lesbian. It went against his religious beliefs and for six years, we were estranged. It was probably the hardest six years of either of our lives. I am glad to say that now, my being a lesbian may still be against his religious beliefs, but he loves me, my partner, and our daughter regardless. I am glad to say that. What that experience taught me is that parents make mistakes. Parents can also learn from those mistakes. In the end, I will never make that mistake with Peyton. I will not allow myself to be out of her life for six years because our beliefs differ. I would never want to have that void in my heart. No matter what she does, no matter how she turns out and who she grows into being, I will love her, no matter. what.
Take Care

Raising Money for Hi-5

If you don’t know what Hi-5 is, I am here to tell you that its the best organization I have seen out there, spreading pure love. The people behind the movement are trying to reach high fives for love all around the world. You can check out their Facebook Group for more details.

TEAM Hi-5 is a group promoting NO Race, NO Religion, NO Creed, NO Orientation, NO Gender and NO Hate… JUST US! Promote love and tolerance by posting your HI-5 picture! We are a NON-PROFIT group, out to help the Charities and raise awareness.

However, I am raising money for the cause. As a lesbian mommy, I believe that pure love is all that the world needs. Less hate, more love.

  I would like to ask you to donate whatever you can to the cause. I will be keeping this button active until the end of the month of July. All proceeds for donations will go to Jeffy Schudel to further his cause as he sees fit. I would love to raise money to help him out. The cause is dear to my heart and I am sure, given the almost 5,000 members of the group right now, its dear to other people’s hearts as well!

Let’s Spread the Word and Spread the Love.

10 Things Peyton Will Not Experience

SpongeBob SquarePants

Not only is the name of the character ridiculous, I find the humor crude and noneducational nature of the show disheartening. Personally, I don’t see the need for Peyton to watch this stupid sponge. She doesn’t need to know what he is, who he is, or be involved with any of his under the sea activities. If they aren’t teaching her something, she isn’t watching it, end of story. That really goes for a lot of things, but mostly, “the sponge who must not be named.”

Bullying Other People

I don’t care how old or young, the gender, the color, the creed. I don’t care about the religious preference, I don’t care about the social status.I don’t care if she wants to kick that person in the teeth **in her mind** she will never ever be allowed to bully another person. I won’t allow it. If she does, somehow, experience this – I will have not taught her that it was right and she will experience a grade A smack on the butt. Period. 

Asking to Do Something and Then Quitting

When I was a kid, I asked to do all sorts of things and they let me. Stupidly, the adults in my life decided that I could go to dance class and T-ball. I could join 4-H and Brownies. I would be more than happy to have added piano lessons and gymnastics if they had let me. However, they finally caught on. Kids usually want to do things and then they QUIT. Why do they quit? Because their parents let them. When the activity just got too hard, I decided I didn’t want to do it anymore. My parents allowed me to quit. I will never make Peyton do something she doesn’t want to do – but if she begs me to join dance class or karate or any other assortments of classes, she will stick it out. At least for the year or two it would take to not be ‘playing around’.

Disrespecting Elder Family and Friends

When grown-ups are talking, you don’t interrupt. You don’t tell an adult to shut up. You don’t tell an adult no. (within reason) Basically, I will teach my daughter that you wait your turn to speak and there is a time and a place for you to express your opinions and beliefs. I don’t like to think that I am the kind of mother who will tell her that Children should be Seen and not Heard, that is not true. However, I will never be cursed at, hit, bit, spit at, smacked, punched, yelled at, or any other form of disrespect. I don’t care if you say “Yes, ma’am or No, ma’am” but the Please and Thank You will be there and Excuse me and I’m Sorry will be a staple in her vocabulary from early on.

Getting Everything She Wants, Including the Golden Goose

Peyton will never be Veruca Salt. Never. I will not allow her to be. She will always have everything she needs. A roof over her head, warm bed to sleep in, clothes on her back and food in her belly. She will always been loved unconditionally and respected as a human being with rights and opinions and unique thoughts and personality. I’m not being unrealistic here, and frankly, I have a bit of retail therapy problem, so Peyton and I already go shopping pretty regularly. However, when Mommy says no, it means no. There will be no tantrums and crying and whining. I won’t say she will never experience this, but she will only experience it handful of times before she realizes that Mommy means business.
Mediocre Grades in School

I was an A student growing up. It didn’t take much for me to learn things quickly and apply it in my daily life. I was a model student. I understand that I don’t know yet if Peyton will be that way. I also acknowledge that she is not me, she is her own unique little person. However, I will not accept mediocre grades. We will always work towards helping her achieve standards that are acceptable. That would be A and B grades for me. I don’t buy into the “Its a Passing Grade” nonsense. If she just can’t get it, we need to figure out why. We need to work with her teachers and get to the bottom of the problem. Instead of dwelling on the problem and fostering it, we can come up with a solution and make her reach the potential that I know she is capable of. I wish more parents would empower their kids to do better, instead of settling for mediocre.
Dressing Like The Latest Popstar

If you are wearing more skin than you are clothes, they are too small and not appropriate. Our daughter will not be wearing anything that Madonna, Britney Spears, or Lady GaGa wears right now. No skinny jeans, no skimpy tops, and no hooker boots. I wore all that stuff when I was young, but you know what … we will not do what Mommy did. We will learn from her mistakes. Frankly, girls these days feel like they have to show themselves off by wearing as little clothing as possible. Leaving more to the imagination, makes you more desirable. I learned that the hard way growing up. I would rather Peyton not learn that lesson like I did. Not to mention that if you think you have to wear revealing clothes to get attention, your self esteem is not that high. We should be giving our daughters something else to value besides looks. How about intelligence and wit, sense of humor, and kindness?
Mommy Taking Her Side Over Teachers

I see this a lot in school age kids and I am not a teacher. I saw it growing up and my own parents are actually culprits of this as well. The kid is consistently in trouble at school, but its the teacher’s fault. They don’t bring home their books, but its the teacher’s fault. They didn’t pass a test, but its the teacher’s fault. The teacher doesn’t like me. The teacher didn’t cover it. The teacher is mean. The teacher doesn’t care. Blah, blah, blah.Kids will tell you what they think you want to hear. If you are naive enough to believe them before going to the teacher and asking questions (not acting a fool) then I pity the teacher that cares for your child during the day.
Her Mommies Fighting In Front Of Her

Kim and I have been known to have some epic arguments. We have, in the past, had some rocky roads. Recently, in the last few years, we have mellowed out. There was never physical violence – just usually screaming matches. My parents would throw things at each other and otherwise scream and cuss at each other. I remember hiding under the beds with my siblings, covering their heads with pillows to muffle the sounds. I understand that parents fight. I understand that arguments are inevitable. Fighting in front of your kids, its not acceptable and I refuse to subject my daughter to the trauma.
Closed Mind to Opinions, Hopes, Dreams, Creativity, and Wishes

I truly believe that Peyton can be anything she wants to be. I want to nurture her belief in imagination and play. I want to foster her hopes and wishes. I also want her to be able to tell me the truth. I want her to be able to come to me and talk openly with me about anything. I am not necessarily saying I want to be her friend, there is a way that you communicate honestly with your mother that is different than your friends. However, I hope that she will learn early on that no matter what she thinks and feels, she will always be able to express herself and be loved unconditionally for her differences and similarities.
There are still things that we may not agree on yet, Kim and I. Examples would be things like public school and homeschooling, whether or not our 7 year old needs a lighter to light her own fireworks, and crying it out methods. All of these things can be worked out in due time. We have really learned from each other and learned to compromise. These 10 things, I believe, we agree on and I strongly believe are just to build our daughter’s character and make her a stronger and more independent girl as she grows up!
Take Care,