My Fears of "Breaking the Baby" and The Countdown …

For the anatomical scan!
Finally, after our visit with the doctor 2 weeks ago, we have been counting down the time until our ‘anatomical scan’. We have 2 more days. We will find out what the sex of the baby is on Wednesday, so here’s to hoping that the baby is actually cooperative.  Let’s all cross our fingers that there’s a little girl in there, so that I don’t feel like my intuition is TOTALLY off. *wink* My partner is totally waiting to tell me she told me so. In all reality, I really just want a happy, healthy baby in the end, no matter the gender.
I am definitely a little more … nervous about raising a boy. Perhaps, its just because I’m not sure I would know what to do with a boy. My partner says there is nothing different, but I am not into boy things. However, I am sure things will be just fine. Its just a first mommy fear and pregnancy anxiety. I am sure its all very natural, I just have to get over those fears and anxiety if this baby is a boy. I won’t be unhappy either way, just a tiny bit more worried.

No matter what the gender, its exciting to feel the little bubbly sensations in my belly. I admit, I can’t tell for sure if its movement or not, but it doesn’t feel like gas or butterflies, the way people tend to describe the first movements. I feel bubbly sensations or a tiny tap on one side or the other of my belly. Its been pretty frequent for the past week or so. I am going to say that it is the baby’s movements. It makes me feel better, because really, I do get very nervous when I don’t know what’s going on in there!

My partner says I definitely look pregnant and I suppose that’s a good thing, since I dont’ really feel pregnant. I admit, I have been blessed. I haven’t had any of the normal pregnancy symptoms. I really can’t complain. The swelling in my feet has been less frequent, my hips are not as painful unless I sit in one position too long. I also realized the other day that I haven’t really had the migraines I was plagued with before pregnancy. Then, of course, the moment I vocalized it, I was got a migraine, yesterday morning.
I know that the medication list the nurse gave me at my first appointment says I can take Tylonel. However, I started looking for Tylonel early on, because I suspected I would end up with crazy headaches early on. No matter where I went: CVS, Walmart, Hyvee, Quik Trip, EVERYWHERE and none of these places had regular old Tylonel. I could only find Extra Strength and my co-workers were freaking me out and telling me that I can’t take those.
I called my doctor this morning, after the pain was just so bad that I couldn’t do anything anymore. The nurse told me that Extra Strength Tylonel is fine, as long as I took it per the directions. I was so relieved. I downed those pills this afternoon as soon as I hung up the phone. I have shyed away from pills and medicine just because I don’t want to “break the baby” and now I know that its ok. Of course, on that same note, no matter how many times the books say its ok to have sex, its not the same as pain relief.

I have an irrational fear of breaking the baby with sex. I know it. Too bad.

So yesterday started our 18 weeks and we are so close to the halfway part. I admit, its gone by so much faster than I never thought it would. The closer the day comes, its another anxiety. I am reading up on and researching, mostly breastfeeding, because that’s the one thing I really want to do. I really just want to breastfeed – more than anything else. So, the more knowledge I have for this, the more I will be determined to get through whatever challenges we will face when that time comes.
That’s the thoughts of the day.