A Little Rounder … A Little Claustrophobic

Its amazing to me how fast these past 17 weeks have gone by. Sunday will mark my pregnancy at 18 weeks. Babycenter.com says that the baby is the length of a bell pepper. Its just so remarkable the way that my body has also changed. My brain has really stayed pretty neutral, but my body says YOU’RE PREGNANT.

Mostly, I still forget I am pregnant. At least in my mind. My body is starting to round out, my belly is starting to pop out. I took so simple pictures in the vanity mirror this morning and when I get a chance, I will post them. We are almost at the halfway mark and I have only gained 3 pounds, which according to my doctor is just where I need to be.

UPS: We are paying off our rent issues now that my partner has gotten her disability approved. We are going to stay in our apartment until a 2 bedroom opens up or we can find a house. Things are looking up in the housing department right now.  I also applied for a new position within the company. I admit, I don’t believe I will be considered for it, but its nice to have a little hopefully wish in the back of my mind. I know I would be great in the position, but I don’t know how much criteria they will use to consider people.

DOWNS: For one, I really feel claustrophobic in my own body. Its hard to breathe just sitting here typing this and god forbid I try to get out of bed, or even out of the couch. Climbing our three flights of stairs to get to the apartment is a joke.  I’m disappointed that we won’t be getting into a 2 bedroom as soon as I would like. I am looking forward to decorating the nursery. It is my most anticipated event in this pregnancy that will be put on the back burner for a bit.

All in all, week 17 has been alright. Definitely better emotionally than last week. I admit, for the most part, I am just BLAH.

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I’m Obsessed With My Toilet Paper ….

And Other Adventures in Being Pregnant
Ok, so this week marks 16 weeks. Babycenter.com says that our little one is approximately the size of an avocado. This week I have been spending a lot of time on Babble.com. I found a really cute article over there. The blogger talks about how she can’t stop checking her toilet paper for spotting. I admit, in the beginning of this pregnancy, I found a light spotting and it freaked me out. Like I have said so many times before, I don’t have a second chance at this. I read the comments and such on the article, and even though my partner chastises me about it, I am not alone. There are women 20 and 30 weeks into their pregnancy and still checking their toilet paper. So, thanks to this article for making me realize I am obsessed, but I am not alone.
All week, my partner and I have been looking forward to today. Today was … supposed to be the day we learned the sex of our baby. When we went to the doctor’s appointment today, we found out that we had been mistaken. Ugh. I heard that man tell me that we could set up the ultrasound next time we came in. However, he was being more literal than we were. So, instead of finding out the sex of our baby, we did listen to a nice strong heartbeat of 155 and made the appointment for the ‘anatomical scan’ in two weeks. Really … 2 weeks doesn’t seem like its that far away, but I have been waiting for it for over a month already.
That brings me to my ups and downs for this week:
UPS:
  1. My partner has gotten her disability through the government APPROVED. When we got the notice, I just couldn’t stop sobbing. I was so happy and I am pretty sure she was so shocked. It was our first attempt, but with 5 diagnoses, I guess, there should have been no doubt. This means we now have two incomes and that takes the pressure of me some.
  2. With the approval of her disability, I have come to terms with moving. I am actually excited. We are going to look at a place tomorrow morning. I am so ready to move. I can’t wait. We live in that one room apartment right now, and its just not big enough. I cannot wait to decorate a nursery. That’s my favorite plan of the week.
DOWNS:
  1. I’m having trouble sleeping on the couch now. Not just the bed, but the couch. Its possible that its just not as cool in the living room as it is in the bedroom. Our apartment is regulated central air and I think they turned ours off. Which means, crap, I am sweating throughout the night and really, I am running hot anyway!
  2. Not being able to find out the gender of our little one. That is BY FAR the worst down of the week. It was so disappointing and my partner said it best, “It feels like someone took away my birthday.” We had been looking forward to it, and instead we have two more weeks to wait.
Take Care until next time

2 Ups and 2 Downs

So, I have been following this podcast called PregTastic for a few weeks now. A podcast about women who are pregnant for women who are pregnant. I love it. They talk about all sorts of things. So far, I have gone back to the very beginning episodes and listened to them religiously. I didn’t want to miss anything. I have listened to their breastfeeding series and the episode about the epidural and gestational diabetes. I love it. What I love most about this podcast is in the beginning of these episodes, the women go around the room and do their 2 ups and 2 downs for the week. It has inspired me to keep a journal of my own ups and down from week to week.

2 Ups:

  • My physical therapy has been working. I don’t feel nearly as much pain in my hip as I did before I went. While I originally thought physical therapy was such a silly idea, thank you DOCTOR, for suggesting it. I am sure that I will regret it when the bill comes, but with everything else in this pregnancy, I am just … going with the flow.
  • I have finally found a comfortable position to sleep. What position might you ask? Its on the couch. That’s the position. ON . The . Couch. I know, I know. I resisted this for quite some time, but our tried and true TempurPedic is over 10 years old and frankly, its dead. Long since a distant memory of the beautiful foam it was in its youth. On top of that, from practically the time my partner and I have lived together, the mattress has been on the floor, no frame to speak of. With my hip and my slow moving-ness, this is not great for comfort and sleep. Especially when I need to pee 80 times a night.

2 Downs:

  • The bills are piling up. I admit it. I knew that a baby was expensive. I knew with America’s healthcare system, its not like other women in other countries who ‘don’t pay for their babies, they come free’. I knew that. (Check out SICKO, if you haven’t already. Great documentary.) I DIDN’T realize how astronomically expensive the first 3 months of my pregnancy would be. Now, don’t get me wrong, of course, I picked the cheapest insurance I could have chosen for myself during open enrollement. However, I was also not thinking of conceiving a child any time soon. So, what do I do with all these bills, you ask? For now … I don’t let them stress me out. I put them in a pile on the bookshelf and think of them not. At least until we can afford to pay them. I will get to them when I get to them.
  • We are moving. Eventually, we will be moving. We can’t afford our one bedroom apartment right now, on one income and while its inevitable, its sad. I like having a space of our own. But, in a way, its an Up of the week too. We will be able to save the money we haven’t been able to save and we will be able to get something bigger for when this bundle of joy arrives. So, while right now, its a bummer, I can smile a little. Yea, we may be living in my mother-in-law’s basement for several months, but I know its for the best. The pros far outweigh the cons. Its just a little sad.

So, there you have it. My week 14 ups and downs.

Other than that, there really isn’t anything going on. I had three days off, without cable or internet, there’s really not a lot to do. Especially when you have approximately 30 cents to your name until payday (Tomorrow thank goodness). Anyway, here’s a weekend of work and hopefully nice weather.

Take Care

Dear Baby

I don’t know what you will be, a girl or a boy. I am excited to find out in the next three weeks. I started the 2nd trimester of your growth in my belly and I just cannot wait until I can hold you in my arms. I want to lift you up to my face and nuzzle my nose to your nose.

I admit, when I was younger, I didn’t want to have a baby. Of course, I was fifteen and I don’t think anyone should want a baby that early. Not on purpose. However, that wasn’t the reason I didn’t want a baby. I always said that I didn’t want a baby, because children break up mommies and daddies. They make life complicated … messy. I didn’t want that for myself. I was afraid I wouldn’t be a very good mom, I didn’t want that for my baby.

For the last few years, I have realized that I have grown up and I am ready for you. Now that you are growing in my belly, I know that I am more than ready for you. I know I will be a great mommy for you. I know you are going to grow up to be the best child I could ask for. I know that this pregnancy happened for a reason and I am going to make sure that you are the happiest baby in the world!

I can’t wait to meet you. Just 6 and a half more months  to go. See you then my little peanut.

Love,
Mama