My Ultrasound Looks Like A Baby

So, at our last appointment on Wednesday, we were going in to hear the heartbeat. I am 12 weeks and apparently this is when that sort of thing is done. There is not an ultrasound machine in the office, so I wasn’t really sure how this was going to work.

We were talking to the doctor in the room and my partner decided to tell him that I am convinced that there is nothing in there. Now, that’s not altogether true. I believe there is probably something in there, but its hard to say if everything is ok. I am paranoid. He asked me why it was I felt that way. I simply said, its too early for me to feel anything as far as movement goes and frankly, I don’t feel that much different other than some tenderness and swollen feet.

He proceeds to tell me that we will just listen to the heartbeat and put my mind at ease. He pulls out the little handheld and we get to work. My partner brought the camera, so we could capture the first heartbeats of our baby. Except ….

The doctor couldn’t find a heartbeat. So much for putting my mind at ease. Instead he sent me downstairs to get an ultrasound for ‘viability’. That’s a scary word. I just want you to know how scary that word is. Let it sink in. VIABILITY. Scary. It just is.

So, I was told I needed a full bladder, which I had that with the last two ultrasounds and knew ahead of time. The appointment for the ultrasound wasn’t for another hour. So I was drinking water and tea for about an hour and a half. By the time the ultrasound technician came to get me, not only was I anxious about ‘viability’ but I was about to wet myself.

When we got back to the room, the technician told me that I could pee. I didn’t need to be ‘that full’. Son of a bitch. Why didn’t someone tell me that I could have peed thirty minutes ago?!

Anyway, back to the ultrasound.

She found the heartbeat and we got pictures. The heartbeat was 160 and the baby is measuring 13 weeks, which isn’t really the case until Sunday. I was so happy to see the baby moving around in there! I have never been more relieved in my life.

The baby was waving its arms around and bending its knees to kick of the sides of things. It was doing flips in there and twisting and turning. I can’t imagine what it will be like when I can actually FEEL it, if this baby is that active now. I’m just glad that the baby is ok.

The scanning is a little off, but here they are. Left: Profile, Right: Face
In other baby news, I have been having ridiculous pains in my lower back and hips. Apparently, like everything else I am experiencing, its too early for that. My doctor just looks at me and says, “We have a long way to go.” Oy. So, he is sending me to physical therapy to get some stretches or something, because everytime I bend over, sit, or get out of a chair, my hips are killing me. Sometimes worse than others, but usually most of the time.
Because I was supposed to schedule this appointment with physical therapy, I thought I should probably, finally, find out what my medical insurance covers for pregnancy and other assorted things. My partner says with 3 ultrasounds in 12 weeks, this baby is surely going to be a pain in the ass even outside the womb. With that in mind, I figured I better check.
What I learned? I learned I have nearly met my $1000 deductible in 3 months with all the bills I have been accruing. Now .. don’t get me wrong, I am fully aware that this was going to be expensive, but when I signed up for insurance, I didn’t consider having a baby that year. I nearly fell out of my chair when that woman told me I had already racked up nearly $1000 and I still have 6-7 months to go!
Anyway, on the bright side, we have the baby we have been dreaming up growing and moving and shaking inside. I am not going to let a little thing like money get in our way. Today is the day I have decided to TRY and actually quit smoking. At the time of this post, I have yet to have a cigarette. SO, we will see how it goes when I get home.
Wish me luck.
On our next visit, in 4 weeks, we will be setting up an appointment to see what we are having!
Take Care

Favorites Friday

Before I found out I was pregnant, in fact, before I started trying to get pregnant, I didn’t really think about blogs. I didn’t really think about having a blog or reading a blog. Now, its a sick obsession that I just can’t stop doing. Its an easy way to fill the time and I love all the women on my side bar that have been listed and read them as religiously as possible.

The pictures and the words and even the comments from other readers are something I just can’t get enough of. So, here is a list of things I have learned, printed, and put in the “What to Expect Pregnancy Organizer and Journal” for future use.

  1. Stay away from Google and WebMD – (for obvious reasons)
  2. The Hospital Checklist – (full of stuff I never would have thought about)
  3. The Great Registry Tip List (broken into must have down to total luxury items)
  4. The Must Have First Photo List – (awesome with pics of her own kids’ first photos)
  5. Calming Labor and Delivery Fears – (This podcast is great to pass the time and so personable)

My mom is three hours away, my sister has other stuff going on, so while I have a mother-in-law and other people in the area that have been helping me out, sometimes, I don’t want face to face advice. I want to sit at my computer, read through perfect strangers’ ideas and tips and just print them off for future use. I am sure I will come across more stuff, but for now, these are things that I have found helpful this week. 🙂

STOP talking to my fat.


I want to know when my belly became public property. I don’t understand, at what moment, I relinquished all of my personal space bubble. That bubble is mine. Its not yours.

So, this means, that mostly, perfect strangers stop me in the hallway at work and talk to my stomach. They BEND OVER and put their face to my belly and TALK. Please tell me when this became socially appropriate. I don’t understand.

On top of that, my baby is approximately … 1 to 2 inches. This means that even though my stomach is rounding out and I don’t have that big fold at my belly button anymore when I sit, the baby is not really big enough to be the cause. So, this means, these people are talking to my FAT. Really… they are not talking to my baby and its not cute anymore.

My partner doesn’t even talk to my belly yet.

So, now I really just want to request. I am the type of person who doesn’t really like a lot of attention on me. That means, that I don’t want people stopping me in the middle of a hallway or while I am on the phone to have a conversation with my fat. Its embarrassing.


  • I am tired, but nothing terrible. I get sleepy around 7pm, and go to bed pretty late.
  • Got “Prenatal Yoga Deck” with 50 poses, breathing exercises, and meditations for pregnancy.
  • Got the “What to Expect, Pregnancy Journal and Organizer” which is awesome!
  • Craving gummy candy (ie. Gummy worms, Dots, Gummy Bears, etc.)
  • Listening to podcasts online on
  • We are looking for a new place to live, which has been a challenge and has been the only thing that really gets me down right now. Disappointed really.
  • My relative is in the ICU and hopefully, from reports at home, she is getting better. Slowly but surely, hopefully, she will make it!

Take Care

I forget I’m Pregnant

I tend to forget I am pregnant. Aside from the “I need a nap” days and the “My God my boobs are huge” days, I don’t feel any different. Its kind of odd.

Its so odd that I am beginning to worry. I have experienced spotting and streaking and a little bit of black clotty stuff here and there and yet, the doctor, over the phone, techniquely through his nurse, says everything is fine unless I am gushing blood. My partner believes them, and she says I am just getting worked up for nothing. SO. I will calm the hell down.

But! I admit, I haven’t vomited, except when I brush my teeth a few times, and I going through cycles of constipation/diarrea every three days. I will not feel better about this until I can feel my little one kick me. I know, most people don’t really relish in the idea of the baby kicking them, but given the way we did this, I just want the child to kick me. Just once.

I know I should be counting my blessings that I am simply mildly nauseous, but I am not experiencing the morning, noon, and night sickness, but damnit, I really just am too freaked out.

My mother and my sister, I can tell, think I am crazy, since I don’t eat tuna, and I don’t want a C-Section, and I don’t want to be induced, unless absolutely necessary, but frankly, I don’t care if they think I’m nuts. I don’t have a penis on speed dial. I really will be devastated if I lose this child.

I have no indication that it will happen or that it is immenient, but I can’t be the ONLY first time mom out there who has panicked at the slightest hint of red or checked her toilet paper like a Nazi!

We are on week 11 and the baby is ‘the size of a fig’ – now, I am incredibly glad that gave me a picture, because I personally had no idea what a fig looked like. Here’s a picture for you, in case, you too had no idea what a fig looked like.
I am looking forward to my next doctor’s appointment at 12 weeks, which will be next week. We will get to hear the baby’s heartbeat. Until then, perhaps sooner.