So, at our last appointment on Wednesday, we were going in to hear the heartbeat. I am 12 weeks and apparently this is when that sort of thing is done. There is not an ultrasound machine in the office, so I wasn’t really sure how this was going to work.
We were talking to the doctor in the room and my partner decided to tell him that I am convinced that there is nothing in there. Now, that’s not altogether true. I believe there is probably something in there, but its hard to say if everything is ok. I am paranoid. He asked me why it was I felt that way. I simply said, its too early for me to feel anything as far as movement goes and frankly, I don’t feel that much different other than some tenderness and swollen feet.
He proceeds to tell me that we will just listen to the heartbeat and put my mind at ease. He pulls out the little handheld and we get to work. My partner brought the camera, so we could capture the first heartbeats of our baby. Except ….
The doctor couldn’t find a heartbeat. So much for putting my mind at ease. Instead he sent me downstairs to get an ultrasound for ‘viability’. That’s a scary word. I just want you to know how scary that word is. Let it sink in. VIABILITY. Scary. It just is.
So, I was told I needed a full bladder, which I had that with the last two ultrasounds and knew ahead of time. The appointment for the ultrasound wasn’t for another hour. So I was drinking water and tea for about an hour and a half. By the time the ultrasound technician came to get me, not only was I anxious about ‘viability’ but I was about to wet myself.
When we got back to the room, the technician told me that I could pee. I didn’t need to be ‘that full’. Son of a bitch. Why didn’t someone tell me that I could have peed thirty minutes ago?!
Anyway, back to the ultrasound.
She found the heartbeat and we got pictures. The heartbeat was 160 and the baby is measuring 13 weeks, which isn’t really the case until Sunday. I was so happy to see the baby moving around in there! I have never been more relieved in my life.
The baby was waving its arms around and bending its knees to kick of the sides of things. It was doing flips in there and twisting and turning. I can’t imagine what it will be like when I can actually FEEL it, if this baby is that active now. I’m just glad that the baby is ok.